Michigan Girl

Please Help Natasha!

2011-11-30T14:40:00.001-05:00

So, today being the last day of November, it is also the last day of National Adoption Month. I hope you all read my earlier post and took it to heart!

Recently on my FRUA Families for Russian and Ukranian Adoption) Facebook page, this little girl was profiled as needing a home. The woman who posted the entry is Russian and is a volunteer with a foundation there to help abandoned children. Everyone who has met this little girl says she is an absolute joy. She's had some VERY serious medical needs, but is doing very well after having numerous surgeries and is cognitively just fine! I cannot stop thinking about her, wishing I could go scoop her up and bring her home. But I can't. I cannot save every Russian orphan, unfortunately. So, in an effort to help find her a home, I'm posting about her here. If you can help with a donation through Reece's Rainbow (tax deductible) or know somebody who may be interested, please spread the word and/or contact the agency she's offered through, HAPS New Jersey International Adoption Agency. Or you could even email the woman who posted about her, Natalia Zimina at sobachka02@yahoo.com.

So, without further adieu, here is a link to Natasha's profile (her nickname is Tera!). Please help if you can!

http://reecesrainbow.org/28060/tera

Please, Consider Adoption!

2011-10-24T21:36:00.000-04:00

As I sit here and write (for the second time in a month!), my kids are upstairs sleeping. Sleeping, in their warm beds, with food in their bellies, clean from a bath, knowing, finally, that they are loved. Some people would say they're lucky. I say we're lucky to have them--we got the family we wanted. But there are many children in the world who DON'T have the family they want.

We've had the kids home 9 months, and just hit our one year anniversary of meeting them, and November is National Adoption Month. These things are making me very introspective about the journey we went through, and about all the children who got left behind. And there are LOTS of them.

Here are some sobering statistics. In the U.S. alone, there are over 500,000 in foster care, several hundred thousand of which are available for adoption. At least 13 million children worldwide are true orphans, without the care of either parent or any family members. In Russia, where our children were born, there are over 700,000 children in need of a family, most for social reasons. SEVEN HUNDRED THOUSAND--and Russia has half the population of the US. Russia is one of the top three countries from which Americans bring home children, the other two being China and Ethiopia.

The fact is, nothing good awaits these children in other countries if they are not adopted. These countries have no social safety net, and there's no way to get an education there without a family. Once the kids age out of the system, they are pretty much invisible people. The most recent stats I read for Russia stated that every year, 10,000 children age 16 or 17 leave Russian orphanages. 85% of those children turn to crime, drugs, and prostitution. 500 every year commit suicide because of the hopelessness. I would bet my life savings that the statistics are not much better for China and Ethiopia. And, the fact is, its not much better here for kids who leave foster care.

So, my plea is--PLEASE CONSIDER ADOPTION. Whether it be domestic infant (there's a special need for homes for minority children!), U.S. foster care, or international, children need homes. Yes, most adoptions cost money (U.S. foster care adoptions are generally free), but I'm sure, honestly, many people could evaluate their lifestyle and realize they have a lot more than they realize. How many lattes do you drink a week? Or energy drinks? How many trips do you take? Do you feel the need to have a new car every 2 or 3 years? These things may seem important, but they're not. Not when you think about the fact you literally could be saving a life. And I can tell you from experience, I cannot imagine loving kids more than I love these kids. Every person I've ever talked to who has bio kids and adopted kids has told me there's absolutely no difference in the love for an adopted child vs. a bio kid. From the moment these kids were brought to us in a hotel room at 9 am on a Tuesday in Arkhangelsk, Russia, they were mine.

So, before I get off my soapbox, here are few links to different websites.

Our agency, Adoption Associates, does both domestic infant and International.

http://www.adoptionassociates.net/

Bethany Christian Services is another well respected agency that does both domestic and international.

http://www.bethany.org/

For info on U.S. Foster adoptions, check out the link below or talk to your state Department of Social Services.

http://www.adoptuskids.org/

Fall Fun

2011-10-13T21:30:00.003-04:00

And AGAIN, it's been two months since I wrote something here. Absolutely pathetic. I REALLY need to make it a point to do this at least once a month. I always have something to say, of course. It's just sitting down and finding the time to do it!

We've been having a great fall so far. The kids are doing awesome. We're soooo busy though, before I know it, it'll be Thanksgiving (which we may host this year) and then the kids' first Christmas! So excited for that! Aaaahhh, can't get ahead of myself.

So, what we've been up to consists of this:
Monday morning, T has pre-school. She is still doing awesome, from what her teachers are saying. They love her.
Tuesday morning, T has dance. She loves it and smiles from ear to ear the whole time she's in the studio. It's so freaking cute.
Wednesday morning, T has school and C has library story time. I like going to the library, but the part he likes the best is the music stuff and the playing after. I have to remember, HE IS TWO. (Although now, closer to THREE!)
Thursday, our free day of the week.
Friday, T has school and C has gymnastics, which he has taken to like a duck to water. His teacher says the things he can do already are NOT typical of a child his age, i.e., he has excellent motor skills and coordination.
Most Saturdays, I go to yoga class (thank god) and Brian takes the kids into town to go to Great Harvest Bread Company to buy our yummy loaf for the week. Double Cinnamon Chip makes PHENOMENAL French toast on Sunday mornings.

So, we are a pretty busy bunch. Almost every weekend from mid-September through October was/is too busy for my yoga (bummer) and then B has all his hunting stuff in November. Grrrrr...... Also, B still does travel, quite a bit at times, so sometimes I'm totally solo. That's why all of Cola's activities are at times when Tania's at school. I have to participate with him in these things because of his age, and there's no place for her, you know? If he has to come to her dance class, its fine, because I have to wait outside with the other moms and look through the glass windows anyway. So, he could play or run up and down the hallway (it's in an enclosed strip mall type place) for the 45 minutes.

Have a great fall y'all! (Cheesy, I know).

Summer Fun!

2011-08-11T21:00:00.000-04:00

HOLY CRAP I DIDN'T REALIZE ITS BEEN OVER 2 MONTHS SINCE I WROTE.

I am a pathetic blogger. I have friends who have kids smaller than mine who post every week! I feel like a LOSER. :) But honestly, as you fellow Moms know, its hard to get much done during the day that involves 5 minutes to yourself, and at night, I generally either just want to watch TV with Brian or go to bed.

Also, its been a super busy summer, which for us is a good thing. I know summers are normally chaotic, but we've had a structured one, with quite a few activities. Tania has been in school 2 days a week all summer, Tuesday and Friday morning, and she's doing AWESOME. She loves it and they are really great with her. After Labor Day, I'm going to start her in 3 mornings a week, which is a fairly typical 4 year old schedule. I really hope she'll be ready for kindergarten in a year.

Cola has had his LESA playgroup for most of the summer and also a few field trips to different places, like petting zoos and things. On Tuesday, he took his first horse back ride and loved it! He also chased around a potbellied pig named Boris (how ironic!). He and I WERE going to story time once a week at Borders, but alas, that's no more. I think I'm going to check out the Community Ed and look for a class to register him for (like tumbling or something, the boy has boundless energy for jumping and thumping) and maybe dance for her. I think those would be fun. Next Spring/Summer, I definitely want them in swim class, since Cola fell in my mom's pool a while back and was bobbing up and down like a buoy. Luckily, their Uncle Grant literally vaulted in there and grabbed him right away. But they both still love the pool!

Tania did great since her dental work and eye surgeries. She is SO beautiful. I mean, she was always beautiful to us, but now, wow, she's a knockout. And he is the cutest little poop ever to live, everybody says so. He's still so tiny though, but we're starting to think that's just him! So, we're just updating all their shots and I'm trying not to fret about it anymore.

Okay, since Brian's gone camping, I really just want to get some rest, because of course they'll have me up at 6 am tomorrow or something. I really will try to post more for my loyal followers! Ha!

Just the Three of Us...

2011-05-22T21:00:00.000-04:00

So, Brian is gone this entire week. He won't be home until Friday morning. This is the longest he's left the kids and I in the nearly four months we've been home. I'm both anxious and calm about it. Anxious because it's a long time for him to be gone and me to be alone with the kiddos all on my own, but also calm because I know everything'll be okay. I just know that when ge gets home, I'll immediately want to turn them over to him! Ha ha. But, we have a fairly busy week. Tomorrow, my aunt Margaret is coming to visit. She hasn't seen us since she stayed when Tania was sickly the first time he left us. They are so different, WE are so different. I think she's going to be shocked! Tuesday is Cola's playgroup, and Wednesday our social worker is coming for our first official post placement visit. I think she's gojng to be very pleased with what she sees!

As you can tell, things are a TON better around here. I think we're through most of our transition. It was short but traumatic! At one month in, I felt like a crazy person, at two months, I was starting to see the light at the tunnel, and three months in, I let out a huge sigh of relief and thought, "Wow, this is gotten pretty good!". And now, we're four months in, and I love these little monsters so much! Cola is the sweetest little boy and Tania is such a beautiful, smart little girl it's scary! I'm so excited for her to start pre-school in a week. I think she's going to thrive. She seems excited and she can start in some catch up learning.

Time to sign off and watch some "Game of Thrones" since the kids are sleeping!

Happy Mother's Day to Me!!!

2011-05-08T20:47:00.002-04:00

Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms out there! I myself had a great day. We had breakfast out at IHOP and the kids did great, then I cleaned my upstairs (I know, cleaning on Mom's Day? Well, it makes me happy), and then grocery shopping BY MYSELF. Then, played outside with the kids and Brian and had a delicious barbecue dinner. A good day!

Lots of stuff has been going on here, and it's pretty much all good! The kids sleeping is doing GREAT. Cola is sleeping through the night every night an average of 9.5-10.5 hours with a good nap in the afternoon, and Tania is sleeping through the vast majority of nights about 10-11 hours, so Brian and I finally feel rested again, and like a couple again, as we have some time to spend by ourselves. Also, Cola's been doing a playgroup through the county for 2 year olds, and I think its great. He's also getting speech once a month, and the therapist thinks he'll catch up wonderfully! Tania is starting preschool after Memorial Day, and I'm super excited about that--I think she'll thrive. At that point, she'll be evaluated for speech and other services through the school district. We think they're both doing awesome with it! They never shut up. We don't catch everything that they say, but they are vocalizing like crazy, whether it's English, Russian or gibberish and that's half the battle.

The few bad/anxious things going on are that Tania is having her major dental work done Tuesday. I am VERY nervous about it, both how she's going to do and having to leave Cola. He's going to stay with our neighbor for the morning, and he knows her and her two daughters well now, but it's the first time we're leaving either one of them with anyone. So, it's going to be an anxious morning for me. The other thing is that we found out recently that Cola is EXTREMELY iron deficient/anemic. He had some of the worst numbers the pediatrician had ever seen. So, he's on a very high dose of iron now, which makes his diapers pretty interesting. I'll stop right there. :)

I have more to say, but I'll save it for another post!

I'm Not Trying to Count My Chickens....

2011-04-06T14:40:00.000-04:00

BUT, it feels like we've hit a MAJOR turning point here with the sleep issue!!!

So those of you who are on Facebook with me know that Cola has magically started taking naps in his own bed. It actually wasn't magical--it was me reading a book on sleep, and figuring out his cues and that he has a fairly strong internal body clock. He's ready for a nap right around 7 hours after waking, maybe sooner if we have an active morning. I've learned not to miss the nap window so he doesn't get too wound up and then not want to fall asleep. Also, I feel that this HAS to mean he's feeling more comfortable too, in his big bed, that he can fall asleep there. Unless you've dealt with a child who doesn't go down easily, you can't understand how much it means that I don't have to drive him around every day, especially with gas hitting possibly $5 a gallon. You have to lay with him to get him to go down, but since we figured it out, it's not taken more than 15 minutes! When we were first home, it would take an hour of screaming to get him to go down for less than an hour nap. So, I'll take 15 minutes for an hour and a half or more nap! Yay!!! The next step would be to get him to sleep independently at night, but that may take time. He's still so little and he can't communicate much yet (but more all the time!), that sometimes he just wakes up and cries.

NEXT--TANIA SLEPT IN HER OWN BED LAST NIGHT WITHOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been preparing her for this, that this is what big girls do, and that Mama is always close by and will come if she calls, etc. Last night, I was feeling really patient, honestly, and for some reason, it just felt like "the night." So, I told her it was time for that. She didn't protest, but wasn't thrilled, either. I explained that if she woke up, her drink was on her bedside table, she could call for me, or could come and get me in my room, etc. It took her almost 2 hours to fall asleep, she was so nervous. Finally, at 9:45 pm, with several false starts, she was out. I hardly slept a wink, I was so nervous myself about how this was going to go. I expected HUGE screams. She woke up at 2 am and called to me, and I went immediately. She wasn't hysterical, which is GREAT. She had her drink and went right back to sleep. (I wish I could have!) She then woke up at 5:30, and was slightly more agitated, but not bad. I took her to the bathroom and then showed her where I'd been sleeping in "Mama and Papa bed" and then we went back to her room. I tried to leave after she dozed off, but she immediately woke up. So, I decided it wasn't worth leaving and laid down with her until 7. I am running on empty today, but it feels great. Now that I know she CAN do this, life seems good. I am excited for tonight, as she seems pretty proud of herself today and we've had a great day so far!

So, that's the big news I promised this morning. To many of you, this may not seem like a big deal, but trust me, when you've dealt with this sort of issue, you'll understand!

Fun Stuff!

2011-03-28T11:30:00.000-04:00

We've been home a little over two months now and I realize all my blog posts have been "Oh woe is me, this is so hard, etc, etc." So, I figure I should make a post about the fun stuff we've been doing/learning to show it's not all doom and gloom in the Nault house!

Our guest room has officially become Tania's room, which wasn't what we intended, but I guess, what's the big deal right? I hung a decorative plaque in there with her name and birthday on it that says "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, do you know how loved you are?" It's pink and was a gift from our friends Steve and Nancy Moriarty from Indy. Cola has one too that's blue that I want to get up! Brian and I also hung light blocking curtains in both of their rooms, hers are bright pink and his are navy blue, which work perfectly color-wise with what they like, bedding, etc. I am still sleeping in there with her, which is okay. She's been doing GREAT lately with sleeping, consistently better all the time. For example, two nights ago I got up to check on Brian and Cola and left her and she woke up. She didn't scream for once, she just called out to me twice! It was great! Then, she and I went to Brian and Cola's room and she kissed Brian on the head and we went back to bed. It took her awhile to fall back asleep, but that's normal. I sang to her. We do that every night, singing, that is. It used to be "Twinkle Twinkle," now its "Hush Little Baby" with a line about a pizza pie in it, so she calls it "Pizza Pizza." It's funny. Cola's crib has been turned into his full sized bed and he and Brian are in there, so at least they're out of our bedroom! That's honestly really nice to be able to go in my bedroom after they're sleeping and put my PJ's on, brush my teeth, shower if I want, etc. Cola is still sleeping crappy, but such is life. It's gonna take awhile. He just can't express what's going on in his little head and it keeps him up, I think.

The kids love their new playroom (which used to be our formal living room). We've gated it off from our dining room, which is my sanctuary/office. I think its going to work well for a long time. We play with the ball hut (gift from the Fontanas!), play with blocks, do puzzles (which Tania appears to be getting good at), do tickling and horsey rides. It's just nice to get the toys out of our family room, so when Brian and I sit down to watch TV at night, we don't have to look at that crap!

I seriously wish the weather would get warmer consistently. It was SO NICE for those two days, we were outside half the day and they had a blast running around and playing on the neighbors playscape. They slept so well on those nights! We also have had a blast visiting friends and going to the mall and BounceU to play. I am going to start taking them to story time at the Library and Borders, but this morning just didn't feel right. We got a late start and it would have been rushed. Maybe next time on Friday.

So that's what up here after two months! We can't believe its been that long!

Sleepless in Michigan!

2011-03-15T16:50:00.001-04:00

But hopefully not forever!

The title of this blog actually refers to the kids, not necessarily Brian and I. We're doing okay, because adults can survive on 6 or 7 hours of sleep. But kids at age 2 and 3 cannot survive on 9 or 10. It's simply too little. So, I sought some advice on this subject from an expert we've met at our support group meetings.

From what we've read, these issues we're having (having to lay with them, them unable to fall asleep for long periods of time, frequent waking, not sleeping long enough or consistently) are totally common for new adoptees. Sleep is the most frequent reason post adopting families seek help. She actually stated that given the trauma, upheaval and fright our children experienced for the first 2 and 3.5 years of their lives, it could be a lot worse. Right now, I am still sleeping with Tatiana and Brian deals with Nicholas. Cindy, the psychologist, stated that we have a good strategy right now and are doing all the right things. She endorsed our plan to turn Cola's crib into his full sized bed and for him and Brian to sleep in there, instead of our bed. I need to keep doing what I'm doing. Then, we can EVENTUALLY transition ourselves out. But, that can't happen and this situation won't improve until they feel really comfortable and totally trust us, which can honestly take up to a year, as Cindy informed me. That is a bit daunting, but we have to be in this for the long haul. And bedtime will continue to be a long process for us, so don't expect to see Brian or I out at night for ages. Bye bye social life!

Cindy reassured me that this WILL get better. Like I said, the LONG HAUL. We haven't even been home 2 months, I keep reminding myself! It feels like a lot longer, quite honestly. I am so happy that the weather is breaking and we can get them outside. After being outside, Cola has shown signs of wanting to lay down in the living room and maybe go to sleep on his own, but Tania bothers him!! It's so frustrating. Hopefully, when they're BOTH out running a ton consistently, she go down for some quiet time/nap so he can too and I can quit wasting gas in the darn car every day!

If any of you care to look, here's a really good website I found that lays these issues out really well and explains why this happens with adoptees.

www.adoptmed.org/topics/sleep-and-adoption.html

Thanks for the support all!

More than One Month Home!

2011-03-05T13:15:00.000-05:00

So, I meant to do an update when we hit one month home, which was February 26, but things have been nutty. So, now it's more like, 5 and a half weeks home! Things are slowly adjusting, but it's still hard, honestly. But, it is getting better. I'm starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but it's very dim and far away!

The past week was challenging, as Brian had to travel for 3 nights for his first trip away. He had to go to Copenhagen, Denmark, of all places and it ended up being a total disaster here. The kids had their first round of shots the day he left (a DTAP, Hib, and Pneumococcal), plus a TB test. Tania had a very bad reaction and had a high fever. I was up all night with her, and Cola was up part of the night too, because she was crying so much. I felt so bad, there was nothing I could do. The Motrin didn't touch the fever for quite a while. She kept crying in Russian that she was hot, had boo boos, and hurt. It was awful. I had to call in reinforcements--my awesome aunt Margaret came down and stayed with me quite a bit to act as back up. It helped tremendously. Now, Brian is telling me he has to be gone one night this week again, and I am irritated. I thought he wasn't going to travel much for a long time! Lies. At least the kids' TB test came out negative, but that gives us another reason not to trust the immunization records we were given. You see, in Europe and other countries like Russia, there is a shot they give kids that is sort of like a TB vaccination. And if you've had this shot, your TB should come out positive because you'll have antibodies. We were told the kids had this shot. Well, clearly they haven't if their TB came out negative. So, we are starting the vaccines totally over from scratch, but with Tania, we'll have to take it slowly to avoid another night like Monday.

Sleeping is still our biggest issue here. They just give us a hard time going down, we have to be with them until they fall asleep, which can take a long time, and its not until 8:30-9pm. Then, they don't sleep very long, maybe 10 hours is the consistent average, which for kids their age is not enough. The only way to get them to nap is riding in the car, so I'm going to be spending the summer of high gas prices driving my kids around aimlessly and throwing money out the window. Tania is doing better with the sleeping--she's getting a lot more peaceful, hardly restless anymore, which is wonderful. Cola is bothered by something and we can't figure out what. He just wakes up quite a bit. Right now, she still sleeps with me in the guest room bed, and now Cola seems to want to sleep in our room with Brian. So, instead of ME in bed with my husband, there's a tiny little boy there. And we bought and were gifted all this nice, expensive furniture for them, and guess what? NOBODY'S SLEEPING IN IT.

So, that's what's going on here. Keep us in your thoughts as we continue to adjust to life with them, and they adjust to us!

Doctor's Appointment

2011-02-10T11:30:00.000-05:00

On Tuesday, we made the long journey downtown to Children's Hospital at the DMC to have the kids fully evaluated medically. The appointment was at 9am and we had to leave this house at 7:20 to make it there on time. Which sucked, because we had to wake the kids up early, and they were having their best night of sleep yet. Also, on the way down, Tatiana completely upchucked all over herself in the car, so that was pleasant to deal with. Half digested yogurt and bananas, yuck. :(

We made it to Children's and got in with the doc about 9:20, I think. The front desk seriously didn't know how to run our private, excellent health insurance, because I'd be willing to bet all they deal with is freaking Medicaid (the Adoption Clinic is run out of one of the general pediatric clinics there, and the clientele seemed, let's say, ghetto fabulous).

The appointment lasted 2 hours. The doctor was very thorough, as she should be. She asked us every question under the sun, measured them a ton, and gave them full physicals. She was generally pleased with the state of their health, and with the things we've been doing with them. She also has twin sons adopted from Kazakhstan, so she totally understands what we're going through. Cola is in good shape overall, he's just tiny. He's not even on the growth chart. He is 2 now, and is the size of an average 12 month old here. Little lady Tania is good sized, but has issues like decayed teeth, a lazy eye, and something called funnel chest/pectalis, which means her chest, right in between where her breasts will be, is concave. This will most likely resolve itself, but it may not. They are most likely also developmentally delayed, and I have the school district working on coming out to evaluate them. They are certainly emotionally stunted. We're working on that.

Also, they had a ton of blood work ton. She took it like a rock star, but he screamed like a banshee. It was awful. It was 1:45 by the time we got out of Children's. We also have to do a urinalysis and a fecal test (3 times for the poop) to check for parasites. Fun for Heather and Brian. But these guys need to be checked for every little thing.

So, that's what happened with the doctor's appointment. Things are rolling. I honestly think taking them to medical appointments and getting out of this house may help our mood!

Thank You All...

2011-02-03T13:25:00.001-05:00

For the tremendous support I got from my last blog update. To all of you who emailed me, or Facebooked me, sorry I haven't replied in person, but this blog entry is hard enough to get done. All of you that wrote sent lovely messages of support and offers to call you. Trust me, I may take some of you up on that at some point. Right now, I'm calling people who've specifically been through an adoption process, because they have the most insight into the specific things we're dealing with. I'm having a very bad day today, so writing this short blurb hopefully will help me stay sane.

The sleeping is not going much better, but at least the jet lag is over, I think. The white noise helps them go to sleep somewhat, but it only lasts 90 minutes on my iPod, so Brian ordered a white noise machine that we can play all night. I think that may help. They both are still waking repeatedly, which could go on for months. Basically, our poor babies have never had anyone comfort them in the night, and now that's all they want for a while until they realize that we'll always be there if they need us. Nicholas is SO hard to get to sleep, and the stroller is the only thing that works fairly consistently. So, we're going to go with that. We have to meet him where he is. At least Tatiana hasn't had any more night terrors, but she thrashes and wails in her sleep. I think she's having nightmares. Poor thing. We're trying to remember what these babies have been through in their lives, which, at 3 and a half and 2, is more than most of us will ever have to endure. But, its still difficult to deal with when we're less than our best.

Food is also a huge issue. If they see food, they will scream and wail for it, even if they ate 5 minutes ago. Food preparation around them is a difficult situation. I think they've been hungry quite a bit in their lives and now are just craving food until they explode. This is common and takes time to subside. We've had to bungee cord my pantry shut so they don't get into stuff.

We do see improvement and we hold on to that. Her tantrums are getting better, as she seems to be getting more of what's expected of her behavior wise. A huge problem we have is sharing/sibling rivalry, but that's normal for any siblings. It'll take time. Also, we've had them since January 18, and we can already see them filling out. They are getting little bellies on them! We love that, since we could scarily see their ribs A LOT when they arrived to us. I think T will always be tall and thin, which is fine by me! I wish N would grow height wise a bit. We have the full eval at Children's Hospital downtown on Tuesday and we'll see how that goes. I think they're in pretty decent shape overall. Next step will be getting T treatment for her lazy eye. I talked to the Adoption Medicine specialist today and she was very encouraging. She has twins from Kazakhstan and she reassured me that everything we're dealing with is normal and will subside, but it could take months. So, we have to be in it for the long haul.

Thanks for the support and encouragement everyone. We know that in the near future we'll hopefully be able to look back at this and go, "Wow, that sucked, but we made it through." Hopefully, that's sooner rather than later!

Since You've Been Asking

2011-01-31T15:00:00.000-05:00

Hi All. This will be a short post, but many of you have been asking how it's going, so I decided to try to give a blog update on our situation.

We are, of course, thrilled to have the kids home. We made it home on January 26, barely avoiding the storm that hit the east coast, which we are grateful for. It was a very difficult day, though. On an 11 hour flight from Moscow to NYC, the kids slept less than 2 hours. So, they were exhausted and we were exhausted. It was 10 pm by the time we got home, and we put them to bed. Then, the jet lag you all have been hearing about on Facebook hit. I think that's getting a bit better, thank goodness. However, due to other issues, we are still not sleeping in the Nault household and may not for a while.

The kids wake up repeatedly in the middle of the night. This is not uncommon for adopted kids. They are in a totally different environment, after having experienced a lot of trauma in their lives. Nicholas (nickname Cola) wakes up and takes a long time to fall back asleep. Hopefully the white noise I downloaded will help. It helped them fall asleep last night. Tatiana (nickname Tania) also wakes frequently, but more importantly,experiences ferocious night terrors. It's awful. Last night we thought she was going to kill herself by accident. She was jumping up on her bed and throwing herself down repeatedly. We thought she was going to hit her head and die. This lasted for 40 minutes, then she did it again, albeit shorter and quieter, 2 hours later. Brian and I thought she was going psychotic, until we called a few people this morning and found out that this is not uncommon. Awful, but not uncommon. Ugh. Hopefully this will wane as she gets comfortable in her new home and environment.

Also, she has terrible tantrums in the day, up to 6-8 times a day, mostly we feel due to us not being able to understand her when she talks and her not being able to understand us. I feel really badly for her, but we also have to set limits. It is not okay for her to hit me or bite Brian. I feel badly because Nicholas is not at all getting the attention he deserves, but I guess it is still much better than being in an orphanage, right?

There are other issues going on too, but that's the major stuff. I feel its important to be honest and not sugarcoat this stuff. We've been honest about everything we've dealt with thus far, so this post is a continuation of that. Hopefully soon, I'll be able to post that things are getting better. To all of you whom I've called and cried to, thanks a lot.

THREE WEEKS!!

2011-01-05T14:15:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe that in THREE WEEKS the kids will be home! We leave a week from Saturday and will be home January 26! It is so nutty around here trying to get everything together. Brian's been installing baby gates, I'm getting paperwork together, and I need him to help me organize their room and put a bunch of toys downstairs. Everyone has been so generous with clothes and toys that some of the toys need to be put away and taken out slowly. These kids are NOT used to having an abundance of things and it can really overstimulate them. That's also why we did not decorate the room very much. Decoration can come with time! Also, thanks to Holly and Jill, I have full drawers for Nicholas and TWO sacks of too big clothes in the closet for when he grows! We also have plenty of clothes for her right now, thanks to my lovely aunts Holli and Margaret, and it'll be cheaper and easier buying for one kid on down the line than both of them!

I am SO NERVOUS, but obviously excited too. Hopefully, now that this blog is linked to Facebook, I'll be motivated to post more in the new year. The kids themselves will provide motivation too--everyone wants to see pictures! I can't wait until I can oblige all of your numerous photo requests!!

Things I Learned in Russia

2010-10-13T19:00:00.000-04:00

I know everyone wants to hear about the trip, and there are some things we can discuss and other things that we really can't. I hope you all understand that. So, in light of that, I decided to do a quick rundown of lessons learned from the trip, both silly and serious!

1) I need to invest in whatever stores or companies sell women's knee high black boots in Russia! Seriously, they are the footwear of choice of every freaking woman there between the ages of 10-40, and even people younger and older! I seriously saw a 5 year old wearing them. If you go to Russia and want to fit in, wear your "hooker boots" and a short black skirt, and you're good to go.

2) I learned I can pee in a hole in the ground if I need to! Seriously. The toilet at the airport going to Kotlas (the town where the kids are) was a sink basin sunk into the ground. I ended up stripping from the waist down and then squatting. I stripped because I had a huge fear of peeing all over my pants, and then I would be screwed. I figured if it went down my leg, I could clean that up! Sorry if this is gross, but its true. Brian warned me, so I was somewhat prepared at least. :)

3) Sanitation standards in Russia are not what they are here. Sometimes there's soap, sometimes not. Sometimes the toilet flushes well, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes there's paper, other times, no. And the paper they did have--well, it hurts your bum and they don't flush the paper. I guess the pipes can't handle it. So, there's a trash can next to every toilet and there goes the paper. It's gross. Sorry, I can't wrap my brain around that one.

4) I can fly in crazy small planes and not get sick or scared. The last plane we took was a 21 seater double propeller Soviet era thing, where your luggage just goes in the back of the plane, and the cockpit is wide open. No lie. It was INTERESTING, to say the least.

Now, onto more serious things....

5) The orphanage was a lot nicer than we thought it would be, and the workers, the doctors, nurses and caregivers, really care about the children. They absolutely want the best for them. It was reassuring. And everything we'd been told about the kids 100% seemed to be true, everything seems completely above board.

6) Regarding their surroundings, they kids are definitely not kept in cribs all day and ignored like some of the stories you've heard. It's just not true. They have music and art and exercise and playtime. They also get a decent diet, not as much fruit and dairy as we'd like, but it's nutritious and there's enough of it. So that's also reassuring.

7) Can't say too much about the kids, but I learned it is completely possible to get super attached to kids you only met 3 times. It was sad, so much sadder than we thought, to leave them. Now I'm frantically trying to get paperwork done to speed the process as much as possible. But, just so you know, we won't be going back until January or February. Unfortunately.

8) So this is really fun to announce to everyone, not really something I learned, just an announcement. Our daughter is going to be Tatiana Louise and our son will be Nicholas Brian! The first names are Americanized versions of their Russian names and the middle names are for my mom (she's Marie Louise) and for Brian, of course. :)

9) The last thing I learned was this--we have a CRAP TON of baby proofing to do! OMG--we are bringing two small Tasmanian devil like creatures into our house in the near future. :) Let's hope the house survives it! Oh, and us too. :)

California Vacay

2010-08-05T13:19:00.004-04:00

So, I realize I'm again a bit behind on my blog. So, I've decided to at least catch myself up in the next week or two on the trips I've taken recently! With pictures, for reals!

I went to visit my good friend from Western, Ruth. She and I rarely get to see each other, but when we do, it's like we were just together yesterday! I left on July 15 (Brian's and my anniversary, trust me, I took crap for that one!). My flight out of Flint was super early in the morning, which meant I was literally up BEFORE the butt crack of dawn. And, seeing as how I always get travel anxiety, particularly when I go by myself, I LITERALLY didn't sleep a single minute that night. So, at 6:45 am, after getting no shut eye, I was on my way to Minneapolis for my connection. I managed to sleep a little on that plane, thank goodness, and got to Minneapolis just fine. I had a delicious breakfast (Minneapolis is a great airport for food), and left for San Jose, where Ruth lives.

I also managed to sleep a bit on my second plane, so by the time I got there at 11:30 am Cali time, I was at least a little coherent. Ruth came and got me and I was so excited to see her! Yay! We cruised back to the Radle residence, where her husband John, son Nathan (who I hadn't seen since he was a baby and he's now 5 and a half) and daughter Hannah (age 1, who I'd never met!) were waiting! A few members of the Radle clan had dentist appointments that afternoon, which actually worked fine, as I went and took a nap in the "Executive shed." Yes, I said SHED.

The "Executive Shed" is maybe the funnest place to sleep EVER. When Ruth's dad and late mom bought the house when Ruth started college, it had this toolshed in the back that they didn't need. Seeing as how the house is a modest California ranch, they could really use that extra space. So, Mr. Stephens' brilliance came through--they converted the approximately 7 by 20 foot shed into basically a guesthouse, with air conditioning and electricity, etc. But, here's the kicker--no plumbing. So, if I had to go potty, I had to walk all of 30 feet across the lawn and go in the house. No biggie. The lack of plumbing is pretty advantageous from a property tax standpoint, because if it had plumbing, it would actually be considered a guesthouse, and Ruth and John's taxes would go up a ton! Way to go, Mr. Stephens!

So, the rest of Thursday we hung out and made a quick trip to the mall with Nathan, and Friday, Ruth and I took the kids to a place called "Happy Hollow." It's this place owned by the City of San Jose that's like a petting zoo/tiny amusement part for very young kids. We had a blast with the kids, Nathan and I went on a ride called the Frog Hopper together, we did the train, and took them to the petting zoo. It was a ton of fun and a great place for families! Then, later that day, Ruth and I went shopping and sight seeing in this nearby town called Los Gatos (which means The Cats, and yes, they have cats on some of the signs in town). This is the sort of place that one should not bother trying to buy a house in unless they have seven figures to spend. And then you might still get a dump. It has cool and eclectic shops downtown of all types. Very cool! Ruth then took me all around San Jose and showed me the school at which she's an Assistant Principal, Quimby Middle School. One day, she WILL be superintendent of the district, I guarantee it!

On Saturday, Ruth and I went into San Francisco! It was cold at first, which is typical, but then turned into an absolutely beautiful day, which is rare! Ruth said it was one of the best days she'd seen in the city. We hung out at Pier 39 at Fisherman's Wharf, went to Ghiardelli Square and had chocolate, ate lunch at the Hard Rock so I could get Brian a shot glass (he collects them), and then we drove over the Golden Gate Bridge so I could get pics. What a view! It was clear enough to see Alcatraz! (Which I cannot wait to do when we go back!). By that point, I was totally exhausted, and we went home. The next morning, I had to get up and leave pretty early.

All in all, it was a wonderful weekend and I psyched to see my old friend. I need to get out there more often! Now for some pics:

View of the City from the north end of the Golden Gate Bridge. It's rarely that clear out!

Me in front of the Hard Rock Cafe. Cheesy I know, but it had to be done.

And finally, the famous sea lions at Fisherman's Wharf!

So Much To Do, Even With No Work

2010-07-08T21:00:00.001-04:00

Wow, so much stuff is going on these days! Despite being off work for probably the months of July and August, I have been going, going, going! While Brian's at softball tonight (I skipped due to my dislike of being rained on), I thought I'd let you all know what's been going on!

We did get the furniture for the kids and it's all in the room and set up. If I had bedding, tiny little Russian babies could sleep in it tonight. On one wall, there's the crib and nightstand we bought, along with a toddler bed donated from our friends the Hills (tons of thanks to them!). On the other wall is the tall 5 drawer dresser and a tall 3 shelf bookcase. SO EXCITING. I literally go in there 5 times a day and look at it, pull out the drawers, and walk to the crib and imagine taking a small person out of it. Sappy I know, but I think these are the things that pregnant moms do, and I am pregnant in the only way I'll ever really experience it. So, I'm indulging myself in all those things and NOT FEELING BADLY ABOUT IT. :) My next project is to buy some bedding for the beds and start decorating. My wonderful friend, frequent reader A, has graciously volunteered to make me some sort of quilt for the children (I'M SUPER EXCITED), and I'll be going to see her soon to pick out fabric. I actually need to talk to her about this, because I don't know exactly what she has in mind, and I need to know before I buy bedding. So, A, if you're reading this--CALL ME. (When the stuff regarding Grandma is settled, of course. Hope you're doing well.)

Fourth of July weekend was pretty quiet, which is fine for me, but I think Brian was bored. He felt left out of other parties, etc. He truly feels that certain folks are not inviting us places anymore because we don't have kids. I feel other factors are in play, and it doesn't bother me as much as it does him. But he hates being bored, so he was a bit crabby that weekend. Plus, his parents were ill and canceled on having dinner with us on Saturday, so he was upset at that too (they don't come down often and he was excited). Poor guy. He's having a bit of a hard time lately. It was very nice to have the Meese's over for dinner though. We truly enjoy having company, so please come visit us people! I also baby sat Oliver Meese this morning while Candace went to the doctor and he is my favorite (and only) godson, as always! Then Candace and I had a very nice lunch at Applebee's, in which Ollie squealed his favorite word "Eeewww!" the whole time and flirted with waitresses. Typical man. :)

Finally, the other stuff I have going on is that a week from today I'm leaving to visit Ruth in California! It's going to be so much fun! I've only been to visit her out there once and only get to see her probably once every couple years, so this is great. I can't wait to see Nathan again and meet Hannah, who's a year old. I'm going Thursday through Sunday and then the Sunday after that, Brian and I leave for our week of vacation in the UP again! We're camping with my fam again Grand Marais Sunday through Wednesday, then two nights on Drummond Island, finished with two nights on Mackinac with the Meeses! We plan to ride our bikes as much as possible and just relax! I think my husband needs it, and I hope we get some more awesome pictures!

June Fun-ness!

2010-06-24T11:45:00.000-04:00

So, here I am blog, back visiting you after a pretty long period of ignoring you. Let's see if I can keep the visits at a more regular pace from now on, but there are no guarantees! I'm here to tell you about the fun I've been having throughout the month of June!

1) Brian and I were in Mayville a lot for a few weeks--Grant graduated June 6 and then his Open House was June 12. Both events went off without a hitch, but it was weird to me on many levels. It was weird to be in the gym at Mayville High School again, weird to be in that buildings. I DO NOT miss it. Weird to see people I went to high school with that have 10 year old children, etc. Grant's class was only 73 kids, as opposed to mine, which was 95. People are just bolting that town, nobody's left around that has any sort of decent job. Then, the next weekend was his Open House,which was like a big family reunion. All sorts of people I haven't seen in years where approaching me, saying things like, "Oh I hear you're a lawyer, oh I hear you're married!" Yeah, as in, I moved on with my life, folks. Mr. Fox, our 7th grade bio teacher was there (he's married to my mom's cousin), and he's been retired about 5 years now, and was very interested to hear what's up with people that I could tell him about, like frequent reader A, Kat, Michele, Holly, Mary, Kathy, etc. So that was fun.

2) MY BIRTHDAY WAS JUNE 13!!! It's the most wonderful day of the year! And this year, it was extra special because Season 3 of True Blood premiered that night too, so it was great! We had a few people over to barbecue and have DQ ice cream cake. Everything was delicious and I'm loving True Blood being back on for the summer! By Tuesday, I'm already hoping it was Sunday so I could watch another episode!

3) Jimmy Buffett's yearly concert at Pine Knob was Tuesday. We had a blast, other than dealing with a decided lack of bathrooms and Pine Knob parking Nazi's. Jimmy is always great fun and I love hearing those songs, dancing with Brian in the aisles (or on the lawn), and just enjoying the party. I was totally tired at work yesterday, but a good night's sleep puts a better shine on things today.

4) Finally, our kid furniture is getting delivered today between 1 and 4! I wish I could be there to see it right away, but I have to wait until late tonight, because Holly is having a Pampered Chef party right after I'm done with work. Oh, I want to see it so bad! It finally feels like small people should be in the house! Yay!

Dear Blog...

2010-06-08T13:20:00.002-04:00

Dear Blog:

I know it seems as though I've totally forgotten about you. I'm sorry. I really do still love you, I'm just really, really busy with work right now. And when you're on a computer 8 hours a day at work, you sort of don't want to come home and visit your blog. Not much has been going on lately anyway, just work, work, work and normal life stuff. You're really not missing much. Plus, and don't be mad, I've been spending a lot of time with your cousin Facebook lately. No, that is NOT cheating! You and I DO NOT have a mutually exclusive relationship. I promise I'll get back with you soon, I hope you haven't been lonely. I really am not going to abandon you, I promise. Especially because once the kids are home (whenever THAT might be), I'll certainly have lots and lots of good things to tell you.

Some good things are coming up, so maybe I'll tell you about those in a few weeks--Grant's Open House, my birthday, then Fourth of July and Brian's and my vacation up north at the end of July. Hopefully I'll have good pictures to show you!

Take heart blog, and know that your owner still loves you.

My Current Obsessions

2010-04-19T11:45:00.000-04:00

Instead of crying, whining, and generally being upset about the current state of our adoption proceedings (on hold according to some Russian officials, not on hold according to others--WTF?), I decided to take a page from Miss A, and do a positive/happy blog post! So, I'm going to let you all in on what's going on in this crazy head of mine, and tell you about my current obsessions.

1) The Sookie Stackhouse Novels/True Blood.
So, most of you probably know I'm a huge fan of HBO's "True Blood." I think it is the best Gothic soap opera to come out in a while, with hot, hot men in it to boot. As you probably know, its based on the "Southern Vampire Mysteries" by Charlaine Harris, aka the Sookie Stackhouse novels. Without getting into the plot (Read the books! Watch the show!), I have to say the books are as enjoyable as the show, despite differences between the two. I wasn't going to read the books, because I enjoy the show so much on it's own, but Brian got me the first 8 in a set for Christmas (yes, you read that correctly). I sat down and proceeded to read all eight of them straight through. And then, about 2 weeks ago, the 9th book came out on paperback and I immediately bought that and read it in 48 hours. I know, pathetic. But they are SO MUCH FUN! I've actually already read a couple of them, the ones that are my favorites, over again. I think I may need to get a life! But, when I think about getting a life, I remember book #10 is coming out in May in hardcover, and I think I may need a Sookie/Bill/Eric/Sam fix by then!

2) Lady Gaga. My Lady Gaga obsession actually ties into my True Blood obsession if you can believe it. Alexander Skarsgard, who plays smokin' hot vampire Eric on TB, plays Gaga's boyfriend in the "Paparazzi" video, and when they are talking to each other in Swedish and kissing in bed, I really want to BE HER. (Sorry honey, its just a fantasy). I also just want to be her in general, actually, but just for a short period of time, like a week. As you know, I'm a pretty plain, non-showy kind of gal, and she is the EXACT OPPOSITE. And I admire that. She dresses how she wants, sings what she wants, does what she wants and expressed herself. I actually feel like there's a side of my personality that's like that, but I've never had the confidence or proper scenario to show that. I wish for one day, I could wear outrageous false eyelashes, 6" platform boots and a bubble dress. Or, meet the Queen of England in red pleather. Like I said, I would just want to be Gaga for a short time and then go back to my nice quiet life. But I think that week or so would be a hell of a lot of fun!

3) Last, but not least, my Mom got Travis this super cute duckling for Easter and now I want one too. We were up there on Saturday and I was holding it, and petting it, and its possibly THE CUTEST THING EVER. It's about the size of a kitten right now, and fuzzy yellow, and it doesn't know how to quack yet, so it just goes, "Beep beep beep." It kept nibbling me and chewing my hair and generally acted about 110% on the cuteness scale. I know I can't have one, because I couldn't let it wander my yard like my folks can, we have too many critters that would eat it, but it makes me wish for the days when we have kids and they want bunny rabbits and stuff like I had as a kid!

Umm, I Seem to Have Missed March....

2010-04-05T09:30:00.000-04:00

Well, after my last post that detailed how bored I was, the month of March was anything BUT boring. I was working, working, working, and when I'm busy and on my computer all day, I really don't want to come home and blog about being on the computer all day. It really is feast or famine with me. Now, I'm currently on break for Easter, which is nice. So, I'm spending my days catching up on things and hanging out. This week, I'm going to see both April (we need to talk to plan our day!) and Candace (who's currently in KY visiting the fam).

Like I said, work has been super busy again, which is nice for my pocketbook, but sucky for my social life. We've been deciding a bit more on furniture, which I hope to order soon, considering it can take 3 months to come in. I think we've decided on Natart, but we need to be sure on what style we want, and get our hands on some Buy Buy Baby coupons and go order it. I'll take 20% off for the stuff we're looking at. So, that's our next order of business.

Nothing major is going on here, other than I think we may go to Toronto for a weekend in May. I don't have my work schedule yet in May, so I hope its not crazy. We want to go see "Rock of Ages," which is a new musical set to 80's hair band music, and it tells the story of the small town girl, and the boy born in raised in South Detroit in Journey's "Don't Stop Believing." We may also hit a Blue Jays game and Niagra Falls, too. Brian and I can't really plan any big trips now, because we never know when we're going to get a phone call, but we're trying to get in some weekend trips this summer and really continue to enjoy our time together alone while we can.

The only other thing going on is that I've been having really bizarre dreams lately. Last week, I dreamed that I had just given birth to twins, a boy and a girl, and Brian and I were getting ready to go to my check up appointment. I'd first like to say that I haven't had a dream where I'd given birth in AGES, so I don't know what's up with that. Second, it was weird, because we were going for my 6 week check up, but these babies looked 3-4 months old. Another weird thing is that, in the dream, since giving birth, I literally felt like my insides were going to fall out of my crotch onto the floor. Maybe that is what it feels like after, I don't know! Brian and I weren't living in our house here in Brighton, we were living in a duplex owned by Sam Merlotte (Sookie Stackhouse's boss in TrueBlood) and also, the house had a toilet in the kitchen instead of a sink. THEN, to top it all off, Angelina Jolie came in and was going to kill me, until I convinced her not to, because I had boy/girl twins like she does. And then I woke up. SO BIZARRE. Brian laughed his head off when I told him that one.

Hopefully I won't wait another month to blog! I'll try!

Bored, Bored, Super Bored

2010-02-26T21:30:00.000-05:00

In case you can't tell, I'm pretty bored at the moment. It's 9 pm on a Friday, and normally Brian and I would be hanging out, at dinner and/or a movie, watching a movie here, doing SOMETHING. But that jerk is in Key West with his buddies this weekend, and I'm here all by myself, being bored. And its not like I haven't tried to find things to occupy my time around here, but I'm trying to spread the projects around so I have something to do tomorrow. Today I have already worked out, cleaned half the house (upstairs), read half of Sookie Stackhouse book #5, snow blew the driveway and played in the snow for a few minutes, talked to my mother, texted with Candace, watched way too much TV, and was on Facebook for probably 2 hours. And I'm STILL bored.

Like I said, I'm spreading around the things to do, so I'm not twice as bored tomorrow as I am today. Tomorrow I will go to yoga, finish cleaning, re-blow the driveway if need be, and probably read a significant portion of my book, if not finish it. Sure, there are other things to do around here, but most of them are in the nature of things that I need Brian around to do. Like clean and organize the basement. Could I do it? Absolutely. Would he be happy with the results? Probably not. I would most likely throw away things and organize them in a way that would not please him, so that'll have to wait. Only, we've been meaning to get around to that for the past year or so. Oh well. Yesterday, I did some shopping for the house, and got a new mop, springy patterned tablecloth, and replaced a few items of makeup that needed to be pitched. Nothing too crazy.

I didn't work this week, so I had time on my hands. Earlier in the week, Candace helped me start the process of looking at cribs and bedroom furniture sets. I think our plan is to have the kids share for a while, even if we get a boy and a girl (in the tan room, for those of you who have been here). The reasons behind this are several. One, it'll be easier for us for a while, and cheaper to only have to fully furnish one bedroom at first. Two, one of us may have to sleep in the room with them for awhile, because we expect they'll frequently wake, possibly with nightmares, nervousness, etc, for the first period of time. This is normal with children who come from orphanages. And three, also related to sleeping, since these children will be used to sleeping in a room with 10 other children, and NOT used to being alone, we think it'll be more comforting for them too. So, we've decided we'll be shopping for a convertible crib, dresser, etc, for the room, so the young one will have a forever set of furniture. Then, we'll get a cheap toddler bed and mattress for the older one and just put it in the same room. When they're ready to separate, we'll buy a complete bed set and set it all up in the other bedroom (the one that's now green, but used to be blue, right across the hall from the other one).

So, that is literally all that's going on here right now. I've been reading the Sookie Stackhouse books on which "TrueBlood" is based, and they are pretty fantastic, I've been flying through them. It's gotten me thinking that I could totally write something along those lines. I've always wanted to write a book, but have never had the guts to start. April, perhaps a collaboration???

Thanks for letting me alleviate my boredom!

Musings on a Snow Day

2010-02-10T09:15:00.000-05:00

Aahh, snow day. As a kid, it's always everyone's favorite day of the year. As an adult, it's STILL my favorite day, even though my work is so sporadic that having a day off is pretty much like most other days! But as early as Monday, I was asking my work if I was REALLY going to have work today, which they probably found extremely irritating. Anyway, yesterday I had to go to Clinton Township of all places, and we were lucky that our deposition got called for the day at a little after one because our Plaintiff was in so much pain (he has mesothelioma, unfortunately, and pops Vicodin probably 6 times a day). So I made it home yesterday by about 3 pm and waited for the snow to increase in intensity, which it did. And my work today in Saginaw DID get canceled, obviously, or I couldn't be working on this blog at 9 am.

So I'm sitting here on my snow day, thinking about stuff. At work yesterday, people were having a fit at the prospect of work being canceled and deps being rescheduled, etc. I remember saying to one of my attorney friends that "asbestos deps are not worth me risking my life" and his response was a very cheerful, yet serious, "Yes, they are!" And all I could think was, WTF? NO, THEY'RE NOT!

It's that response by my friend that got me pondering this: When did everyone start to think their lives are so big and important that a snow day will simply ruin everything? When did we become a society of people always moving, moving, moving, but never really seeming to get anything that really matters done? We're all walking around like chickens with our heads cut off. And honestly, people, IT'S NOT THAT IMPORTANT. Very few things things in life truly cannot wait--a medical emergency, a birth, the response times of the Police Department when you call 911. But other than that, seriously, it can wait. Today's asbestos deps can wait until next week. That lunch date with a friend, it can wait. That trip to the grocery store because I MUST GO TODAY (probably so little Billy doesn't run out of his favorite junk food that he doesn't need anyway)--well, it too, can wait.

When it's snowing like this, seriously, just stay home. That's what people used to do, back when people had common sense and no over blown sense of self importance. I wish more non-vital businesses would shut down or delay opening on days like this, so people could stay home with their kids, and not be forced to drive in this muck, etc. I remember my mom taking me to work with her when I was little and we had days off school (she was a housekeeper, so this was allowed). I actually remember us putting our car into the ditch one day trying to get to her work (hmmm, do you think that means we probably should have just stayed home? Again, cleaning the person's house could wait!). I think we, as a society, need to take a deep breath and think about what is truly vital in our lives and what isn't.

Candace and I have been watching "Anne of Green Gables" and the sequel, and the other day I said to her, "I could live like that," which brought up the idea of going without certain modern conveniences. I certainly don't want to live without blue jeans, antibiotics and tampons, and said this, but I certainly could live a life where the most pressing issue is when the cows get milked and what's for dinner, and where you ride your bike into town every day to get the mail and maybe something at the store. I think its a better lifestyle than most of us have today.

Funny the kind of musings a snow day can bring.

Enjoy it, everyone.

Time Flies...

2010-01-28T18:00:00.000-05:00

when you're having fun. Or so the saying goes. Not that I haven't been having fun, just have had a lot of things going on. I know I say that all the time, but now it actually seems true! So, here's a brief rundown of what's been happening of late.

1) After my tooth fiasco and car fiasco, I was ready not to have anything like that happen again any time soon. Well, its not AS serious, but I chipped my right front tooth last week! ERG, what is up with my teeth?! Anyway, its not serious, I'll wait to have it fixed until I go to the regular dentist for my check up in April, unless I have a compelling reason not to.

2) Last weekend, we had a very nice dinner with Jeff and Candace at Andiamo Novi in honor of Jeff's birthday! Delicious food, and great company, so it was a good evening all around! Yesterday, Candace and I watched "Anne of Green Gables" on DVD, that I got for Christmas. I love that story! I also got "Anne of Avonlea," and we're going to watch that too, but that'll have to be split into two days. It's almost 4 hours long!

3) On Tuesday, we had a conference call with our adoption agency. The call was for all the waiting families in the Russia program. It was a good call, and the upshot it that wait times for a referral are dropping because there are only half the families in the agency's system as usual because of the economy, and fewer Russian families adopting, so things are going fast right now. So, we were being told 6-12 months, but now we're hoping it goes faster! In light of that, I do not want to dawdle with getting things together. We need to get a room ready, learn the Russian, and get in contact with the various medical professionals we need to work with on this. It's a lot to do, but very exciting, and its starting to feel more real!

4) I'm going to Saugatuck with Kate this weekend to go to the spa!! So exciting!! I am having a message, a facial, and a chocolate body wrap. Yes, you read that correctly--a chocolate body wrap. I am very excited to do this stuff. Brian is having 20-30 boys over here that night to play poker, drink beer and play Rock Band, and I am soooo glad I'll be with Kate and not here! Although, if I weren't with Kate, I'm sure I'd be spending the night with Candace watching the aforementioned "Anne of Avonlea!"

5) And finally, work is finally picking up a bit. I have 2 days of work each week for the next 3 weeks. That's actually a fine amount, not too busy, but enough to start to rebuild my freaking bank account. I am broke! (Brian and I aren't broke, obviously, just me in my personal account!)

Later!

Happy New Year, About Two Weeks Late

2010-01-15T11:30:00.000-05:00

Holy crap, if 2010 gets any more interesting, I just might fall over. Sorry for taking so long to write my first post of 2010, but as many of you know, we've been pretty darn busy in the Nault house.

For New Year's weekend, we went to Chicago to visit our friends the Fontanas. First, we drove through a blizzard around Kalamazoo New Year's Day on the way there, which was not fun. On Saturday, Brian, John, and a bunch of other guys went to the Northwestern vs. Michigan State basketball game and had a great time. (John and Erica live right next to Northwestern's campus.) Then, they came back and we all watched the bowl game that the MSU basketball team was playing in. Sounds like a fun weekend, right? Well, it was, other than the fact that Friday night one of my wisdom teeth starting aching, and by Sunday, I could barely open my mouth. By Monday, I called the dentist, who referred me to the oral surgeon, and on Tuesday morning, with Candace and Ollie waiting for me, I had my upper wisdom teeth out. I'm recovering well and am glad I'm never going to have that problem again. For about a year, my dentist has been telling me I needed to start thinking about having that done, and I should have listened!

Then, on Tuesday night, Grant came down to spend the night so I could take him to the airport Wednesday morning early to catch a flight to Steamboat, Colorado to go snowboarding with our Aunt Margaret and our cousins Nolan and Emma. It was his first time flying and he's a minor still, so I made sure we got there plenty early. This turned out to be a good thing, as his flights were screwed up, and they were able to get him on an earlier flight so he'd make his connection in Chicago and get to Colorado on schedule. So that worked out well. But, on the way home, my low tire pressure monitor went off in my car just as I was pulling off the highway by my house. I managed to drive to the dealership where we get our service work done, and watched my tire lose pressure as I was driving 4 miles up Grand River (my car has electronic pressure monitoring). When I pulled in, my tire had 12 pounds of pressure. When I'd left the house, it had 28.

I was supposed to go to work that afternoon, but that didn't end up happening. When they pulled the tire off the car and did the soap and water test around the rims (this enables them to see where the leak is), 6 inches of my rim was totally destroyed and leaking like a sieve. My car was not driveable AT ALL. I took the shuttle home, and they managed to get me a new rim and fix my car that day so I wasn't stranded. I had Grant's little truck here, but it's a stick and I can't drive a stick! And Brian was gone in DC! So, there went another $400 down the drain for vehicle repair. Lovely.

And finally, this morning, we had to go WAY down in the ghetto part of Detroit to the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration office to get our biometrics taken (i.e., fingerprints) for our childrens' immigrant visa. You have to do this in advance, or you'll be stuck in Russia forever while stuff gets processed. So, we drive over an hour one way, walk in, and it takes FIVE whole minutes to do what needs to be done. Then, we leave. URG. But, it has to be done, right? At least the roads weren't bad this morning, traffic was okay, and we made it fine. The folks working were really nice, asking us where we're adopting from, etc. And the digital fingerprint system they have is pretty freaking sweet. I almost expected them to do a retinal scan or something too, but they didn't.

So, obviously, we've been very busy the last few weeks. I'm hoping next week is quiet, with no car breakdowns or health issues. It seems Brian only has a one day trip next week, which is nice. He's going to be gone a ton the next few months.

I'll write again soon, I hope!

"A Long December..."

2009-12-30T18:00:00.000-05:00

"And there's reason to believe, maybe this year will be, better than the last..."

Sorry, I had to quote the Counting Crows, because this month is seeming to drag a bit here at the end, and also, because I heard that song the other day and it always makes me feel contemplative. Although, I must say, the words don't exactly fit my life, as, overall, 2009 wasn't a bad year, much better than 2008, in fact. New Year's Eve is here tomorrow, and I think 2010 is probably going to rock.

Here's the Christmas recap. We went to Bill and Dena's Christmas Eve and spent the night. Brian made his traditional Christmas Eve dinner of homemade pizza, which always goes over well. It was quiet this year, as Erin and her brood and Ryan, Jen and Kelsey were not there for dinner. Not that I'm complaining. Quiet was nice. We got up Christmas morning and Brian made omeletes for everyone, along with toast and potatoes. I was the toast girl this year, as Brian's normal helper, Ryan, was with Jen's family that morning. (They arrived later for breakfast.) We then did gifts, and the kids really seemed to enjoy what we got them. Then, Erin's brood and Ryan and Jen left again, and we had Christmas dinner cooked by Bill. Then, we went to my folks, and hung out with them for the night, which is always fun.

The next day, we had Tompkins family Christmas at my Grandpa and Grandma's. Grandpa is still doing well, which is nice to see. Grandma has lost a little weight, which is good for her sugar and also nice to see. The 17 of us demolished a turkey and a ham, and had WAY too much dessert. Then, we did gifts, which was fun, especially to watch Emma and Nolan open their stuff and go nuts. It's weird that they're the only kids present anymore! Then, the night dissolved into a raucous games of "Apples to Apples," which I didn't play because I'm not very good at it, honestly. :)

We came home that night, and since then, we've been hanging out. John and Erica came over one night, and we're heading to their house in Chi-town on New Year's Day for the weekend. Yay! Tomorrow night, we're going to our friends the Barlow's, who invited us over months ago. The Meese-doggies are also going, should be a good night. Also, since Brian's and my Bose DVD player took a crapper about 6 months ago, we went and bought a Blu-Ray player that is awesome and live streams our Netflix. I t hen sweet talked Bose into giving us a deal to trade in the old player for new equipment, but this time we're just going with the media center, and not the whole media center with DVD. Honestly, their audio systems are awesome, but their video isn't great, and they refuse to upgrade it to Blu-Ray. So, we'll have the surround sound still, but a separate Blu-Ray, which is fine. The new media center has so many component spots to plug into, we'll be able to play Wii in surround if we want! This excites me, as Brian and I are spoiled and we do like our electronic equipment and gadgets. I mean, its a luxury and I could easily live without it if I have to, but I DON'T have to, so I might as well enjoy. :)

Happy 2010!!!

Our Dossier is on it's Way!

2009-12-15T20:45:00.001-05:00

We have reached a very important milestone with the adoption! Our dossier is finally out of our hands and will be going to Russia in a few short days! This morning I emailed our consultant about our papers, and she apologized and said she'd emailed me on Friday and said they were good! We have no idea why I didn't get that email, but the upshot is that I went to Lansing late this morning and got everything apostilled (29 documents, 29 bucks, took about 29 minutes). Before they could apostille them, I had to run and make copies at a nearby copy shop. I wasn't aware that the apostille is a piece of paper and gold sticker seal they permanently affix to each document. You can't copy your document after. So, I should have make those copies at home before I left, but you live and learn! In the grand scheme of everything, $5 is not a lot of extra money!

After I got everything apostilled, I came home and ate my lunch and went to Fed Ex and sent all the papers overnight to our consultant in Grand Rapids. So, in the next few days, our file should go to Russia!!! It takes about 3-4 weeks for everything to get translated and certified, especially at this time of year. Russia celebrates New Years just like we do, but their Christmas is Orthodox Christmas, which is later, and is on January 7. Literally, everything is closed, all offices, etc, from December 31-January 10 for holiday. So, that may take longer than usual, but at least it's out of our hands. Depending on what the agency's Russia office thinks is best, we may register in a particular region, but we may not, as not all regions require registration. If they don't register us in a region, we go in the master pile, I guess, with all the other families who are also not registered in one particular region.

So now basically, the wait is on. They are telling us we may wait a year for a referral because we are wanting two very young children, but that's okay. We'll see how it goes. I have to think that perhaps not as many people are adopting right now because of the economy, so maybe that'll shorten our wait. (Hoping!) And there are tons of other things to do while we wait, some more paperwork, gather orphanage donations, learns some Russian phrases, find a special doctor to help us evaluate the children's health when the time comes, and others. So, we'll still be really busy! But its nothing that will hold up our timetable! We are so excited to be at this point, and plan on taking a break from this stuff until after the New Year! We've been, and will continue to be, so wrapped up in all this, a break for the holidays will be great.

Thank you everyone!

Just Waiting!

2009-12-14T10:00:00.000-05:00

So, I just wanted to do a quick update about adoption stuff. We have our home study in hand, and, on Friday, got all our documents signed and notarized! We came home and I immediately faxed one copy of everything to our consultant in Grand Rapids for her review. I am literally just waiting to get an email back from her saying the papers all look good. Once I get that, I can head to Lansing and have them apostilled, which is a state certification of the notary (as in, the state saying this person who notarized the documents is truly a notary). Once they are apostilled, I can Fed Ex all the papers and a big fat check off to our consultant and then, THEY GET SENT TO RUSSIA!!! So, we are almost to a big milestone!!

Thanks for reading and caring!

Turkey Day Post-Mortem

2009-12-02T11:40:00.000-05:00

So, Thanksgiving ended up going fine, although hosting duties did stress me out a bit, as usual! We ended up with 16 adults and 4 little girls, counting us. Luckily between the kitchen, dining room and in front of the TV (for the football junkies), the house could handle it all. We had a nearly 19 pound turkey, and didn't have that many leftovers! Brian normally likes having a LOT of leftovers (the man can hoover turkey sandwiches), but we ended up being busy for a lot of the weekend, and then he left for work out of town on Monday. So, not many leftovers for him this year.

The day started off well, with Brian making his stuffing and getting the turkey in at 10 am. Dinner was supposed to be at 2. He put the turkey on to roast at 325 degrees. I told him about halfway through (or maybe even earlier) to crank it up to 350, but he didn't. Oh no, he waited until it was 1:30 and the timer hadn't popped yet! Too late!!! The other funny thing is that my cousins Cory and Kayla were coming from Lake Orion, and got totally lost. I think they ended up half way to South Lyon. Kayla didn't write down the directions properly, and they ended up going in the wrong direction. They finally turned back towards town and make it at about 1:30, when they should have been here about 12:30 or 1 probably. Silly college kids!

So, it's 2 o'clock and everyone is waiting around to eat. The timer on that damn turkey FINALLY popped at like 2:15, so we didn't eat until 2:30 and everyone was STARVING!! But it was worth it, as Brian makes delicious turkey. We also had mashed potatoes, corn, stuffing, green bean casserole, squash, cranberry jelly, and rolls. For dessert, we had pumpkin pie, my mother's famous pumpkin cheesecake, and pumpkin roll (which was delicious). My cousin Kayla is currently a vegetarian (for the last couple years, actually) and the only thing she and Brian can agree on is my Mom's pumpkin cheesecake! They both said it was the best one she ever made!

Cory and Kayla ended up staying until about 9:30 that night, just hanging out. We made Kayla watch the original Star Trek: The Motion Picture (ha ha!) and she fell asleep in the chair! Then, the Wrath of Khan came on, so we just kept watching! It was funny. I'm glad they had a good time. All in all, we had a good time with the holiday too, even though it was a bit crazy!

Thanksgiving (aka Thanks-bitching)

2009-11-22T16:40:00.001-05:00

Brian and I are hosting Thanksgiving (aka Thanks-bitching, Brian's word!) this year, our first major holiday hosting since Easter 2008. (My birthday party this year, while huge, doesn't count as a major holiday, unfortunately.) We're expecting at least 14 adults and 1 child, possibly a few more, as one of Brian's sisters has yet to tell us if her brood is coming. Rude. :(

Anyway, hosting major events stresses me out. Well, the preparation stresses me out, the actual hosting part is fun. Once all the food is done and eaten, I really enjoy myself. As for the preparation, we're right in the middle of it. I did the shopping today, and gosh, I do not miss working at Meijer on days like those, because pretty much everybody else was shopping at Meijer, too. I had to buy potatoes, squash, stuffing supplies, etc. I already have a green bean casserole from GFS (they have all sorts of pre-made sides, check it out!), frozen corn from the Schwan's Man, and I'm picking up our fresh 16-18 pound turkey from Middletown Market (the same place Brian gets his deer processed) on Tuesday. Other folks are kindly bringing cranberries, rolls, and delicious desserts. It should end up being fan-tastic. Thank god Brian does the turkey and stuffing, and does it well, and I can concentrate on the sides.

I expect the day to go well, as our families generally get along well. Dinner is at 2 pm, so it'll be all about getting up in the morning and getting the turkey going and peeling potatoes (not fun for me at all!). It's on days like these having a big ass dining room table rocks, because when it has the leaf in it, it seats 10 people, then 4-6 more can go around the kitchen table and some will probably just want to sit in front of the TV anyway. Thank god we have enough space!

So, now that you all know exactly what WE'LL be eating on T-day, I'm off to thinking about starting dinner for tonight! I hope you all have a great Thanks-bitching!

More Adoption Fun!

2009-11-09T17:45:00.001-05:00

Hi All! Sorry that I haven't been blogging much lately, and when I have it's been all adoption, all the time. But, between that and work, that's pretty much all we've been doing lately! Brian's travel has been all over the place, and now its hunting for him later this week, so I'll be flying solo again for a while!

I wanted to write and update what's been going on with the adoption, since everyone has been so kind, and so interested. A lot's been going on with it, and its all been going pretty well!

1) Today we had our home visit. That's when the home study social worker, (Kris in our case), comes to the house and checks it out. (Probably to make sure you're not lying about where you live!) We also went over a few last things. She loved the house and thought it was great, and will be a great place for kids. We told her that's pretty much why we had bought it! She stayed for about an hour and a half, and we had a nice visit. She is SUPER nice, and I would honestly recommend her and Adoption Associates in general for anyone who is interested. The process has been overall smooth so far, with a minor bump here and there, but that's to be expected.

2) We had our psychological evaluation last a week and a half ago, and actually got the reports (one for me and one for Brian) in the mail today. I was so nerve wracked about it, but the reports are good! We were "Recommended!" Yay!

3) We have one last thing to do for our required education, and that'll be done tomorrow. We're attending a seminar in Lansing on Attachment Disorder. It's sort of presenting a worse case scenario with an adoption, which I think is good. We need to be prepared for the worst, and hope for the best. Once that is done, we're done with classes, and then the home study can be complete!

4) Once the home study is complete, I can send that along with some other additional paperwork they asked for to USCIS (United Stated Citizenship and Immigration Service), ie, the Department of Homeland Security. Gotta despise federal bureaucracy, but they hold the power to award us visas to allow our children to come home with us when the time comes. Also, when the home study is done, we can complete the dossier paperwork (99% done already), get it notarized (I'll need to make an appointment at the bank, because it's about 3 copies of 8 different docs and will take a while), and then apostilled (which is the state seal, so I'll have to drive to Lansing). After that, OUR DOSSIER GOES TO RUSSIA! We had planned to have this paperwork done by the end of the year, and I think, barring major emergency, that we definitely will! Once everything is sent, we can start doing other things, like contacting an MD who's an adoption specialist (more on that in a later post), learning some Russian, getting rooms ready, gathering orphanage gifts, and working on yet more paperwork. It will be CONSTANT stuff to do until we're done, but we're almost over the first hurdle!

5) On a final note, our neighbors 3 doors down, Dawn and Rob, are in Russia RIGHT NOW meeting their daughter for the first time. And they just LOVE her and wish they could bring her home immediately, but obviously they have to wait just like we will. But, seeing her blog and how happy they are, for me, completely validates everything we are doing even more! I can't wait until that's us, but we have to be patient, because we could wait awhile!

Late October...Feels like November Still!

2009-10-28T14:00:00.000-04:00

I haven't written in a while, and that's because not much has been going on, or rather, the same old, same old has been happening. Obviously, we're still plugging away with the adoption. We still hope to have the paperwork out by the end of year, but I think it'll be sooner. I think that's good--if you're going to have to wait in line a long time, you'd rather be at the front of the line than at the back, right?

Regarding the adoption, we've finished our educational classes except for a seminar we're going to attend, and Brian has a book to read called, "Parenting with Love and Logic." I guess its a pretty famous book that lots of people have read. And its a book not just for adoptive parents, but for all parents. I think a lot of that stuff is pure hooey, but I honestly really liked that one. It's not all touchy-feeling, befriend your children crap. It actually says that you're NOT supposed to be their friends, you're supposed to be their parents. Also, it really focuses on letting kids learn from their own mistakes, and not fixing their problems for them. Sounds about right to me. The seminar we're attending is on Attachment and Bonding and what sorts of attachment problems adoptive children can have. I'm sure it'll be scary, but enlightening. Of course, they're telling you the worst case scenarios, we must remember that.

Also, Brian is thrilled that he got his first deer with a bow. Yay Brian, good job honey! It was a small doe, and normally I think he would have let her go, but he really just wanted to get over that hurdle. We still have some meat left from last year (almost gone), so he gave the whole deer to his sister, Erin, who could really use the meat and will happily eat every last bit of it. So, its not going to waste, thankfully. He's also been looking into how to donate deer to food programs, but I don't know if he's figured it out yet.

Brian has also been very good about keeping up with his physical therapy at home work for his shoulders. His actual therapy is done, and now he has exercises to do at home that he'll probably have to do forever. He's being very compliant, I think. His strength is increasing like crazy and he's getting some guns on him from the weight work! Another gold star babe!

Other than that, I've just been working a lot again, which is good. Considering we have to pay $350 this Friday for a psych evaluation that will probably take 2 hours, I'll take every penny. That's another thing that kills me about this process--you'd think we were wanting to do espionage or something with as much stuff as the government is making us do. And, just to be clear, its not just us, its everybody that goes through this process. Seriously, Immigration people--go round up some illegals or terrorists or something and leave all us adoptive parents who just want to give kids good homes alone! :)

More later!

Early October...it feels like November

2009-10-03T18:20:00.000-04:00

Oh my gosh, it went from summer to late fall, it seems. I hate this weather! It is so cold and rainy and crappy! I would love to have an Indian summer, since we had our first hard frost the other night, but since we never had a REAL summer to begin with, an Indian one is probably more than I can realistically expect. :)

Just an update on what's happening around here, after the great MSU victory over U of M. Brian's mother had her whole ankle reconstructed about 10 days ago--she's basically been walking around on a broken ankle for THIRTY years. Literally. She fell and broke it when my sister in law Jaimie was about a month or two old, and its never been taken care of properly. So, we've been trying to keep up with what's going on there, and being available if they need anything. I think she's already starting to feel a bit better, as she's been on her email quite a bit.

My work starts up again in earnest on Tuesday. I'll be working probably 4 days a week or so through Thanksgiving. With what an adoption costs, money is good, but I will be smoking busy! So, on days off and on weekends, we will be really busy with paperwork and educational classes. I'm actually sort of looking forward to the classes, most of you who know me well know that I've always loved school. So that'll be fun, I think. It's basically on line stuff, and one seminar on attachment that Brian wants to attend. We have 7 different units, for a minimum of 12 hours of classwork we have to do to meet the requirements. It shouldn't be a problem, its just a matter of sitting down and doing it! Hmmmm, maybe EVERYBODY that's wanting a baby or that is pregnant should have to take some damn parenting classes...

I also just want to say how lucky I feel that we have family and friends that are being so supportive of our decision to adopt. We truly have come to feel as though this is the route we're supposed to take to become parents. We will be saving two little lives in the process. To get back to the wonderful support we're getting, I'll sign off this blog entry with something Candace sent me recently. I hope its okay with her I'm posting it here. She sent me this picture with the caption of:

"Hi Miss Heather & Mr. Brian! I'm ready for my Russian friends to join me in my new ride!"

Adoption Journey!

2009-09-22T21:30:00.000-04:00

So, many of you may already know this, but Brian and I have officially started on an adoption journey. We have begun the process to adopt from Russia! We are so excited about it, but also a little daunted, for reasons I'll discuss below. Anyway, we just decided that we'd had enough of trying to have a biological baby. Three miscarriages and fertility treatment since the beginning of the year with no results is enough. It's funny, with the fertility treatment, the more intervention they did, the less pregnant I seemed to get. And it just seemed like the treatment caused a whole other set of problems that needed further treatment, etc. Where does it end? At the end of July, shortly before we went up to the UP, we just decided, nope, no more. And it is a huge weight lifted off our shoulders.

In case you are wondering, here is a brief outline of the process, which is why we feel daunted. There are 3 different sets of paperwork to do. The home study, the dossier, and the USCIS paperwork. The home study is working with a social worker here, having meetings with her, and doing an educational component. We can hopefully get that done in about 2 months. The home study goes in both the dossier, which is the file that gets sent to Russia, and the USCIS paperwork (USCIS is the United States Custom and Immigration). The dossier literally consists of about 20 different documents, like original birth certificates, marriages license, the deed to our house, fingerprint checks, etc that we have to gather, have notarized and some state sealed in Lansing. I am going to be doing A LOT of running around. And the customs paperwork is sort of similar, some the same info, with some additional documents. Yikes!

After all that paperwork is done, our dossier is submitted to Russia to be translated and registered in a region. Then, the waiting begins. We could wait a year for a referral for a child or children (we are thinking of adopting 2 kids at once) that match your criteria as far as age, gender, etc. We hopefully will not wait that long! A referral includes some medical information, and perhaps a photos. Before deciding anything, you take that medical to a doctor who specializes in this stuff, and they give you an assessment whether they think the child has serious health issues. Then you decide if you want to accept the referral. Quickly after that, you travel to Russia for the first time to meet the child. You meet the child at the orphanage, and decide for good if you want them. If you do, you fly home after a week, and wait for a court date in Russia 2-3 months in the future. Then, you go back, have your court hearing, and the kids are yours after a waiting period. You can then go to the Embassy in Moscow, and you get permission from the US government to come home, and paperwork making the kids American citizens. Then, you are home with your child!

So, Brian and I will be making at least 2 trips to Russia in the next year or two. We are kind of hoping we can be done and home by next Christmas, but that's just sort of something we have in our head, nothing is set in stone with any of this. This is clearly not an easy or quick process, but like I said, we are so excited! For those of you to whom we've already told this, thanks for your support and enthusiasm. We appreciate it, and we're going to need your support in the coming months so we don't get discouraged!

Back to School...I Wish

2009-09-10T17:15:00.000-04:00

So, it's September, and all the kids (college and younger!) are back in school. I cannot believe how quickly this non-summer summer we had passed. It's completely ridiculous. It's only September 10, and the leaves on the trees are already starting to turn colors. Ugh. I am so not ready for fall. Not that fall is bad, but fall leads to winter, which leads to snow and cold...you see where I'm going with this.

Anyway, back to "back to school." This time of year always makes me nostalgic for school days. It's been 5 years since I graduated law school, but I still feel like I should be going back to school this time of year. I honestly just love school; I'm such a nerd to the core. I love buying school supplies--the pens, pencils, paper and notebooks. Once I hit college and law school, I loved going to the bookstore and buying all my books for class, and all the highlighters and paper flags I would ever need (although I didn't like the bill!). I loved organizing my notebooks for class--in law school I had a very organized system, consisting of a huge 3 ring binder in which I kept all my notes for classes, organized chronologically, i.e., the first class I had Monday morning was first in the book, the second class of the week was next, and on down. At the time, I was very proud of this system, but now I realize it was dangerous--what if I lost that notebook and all my notes were gone? That would have been deadly.

Buying supplies and organizing was just one reason to love back to school--the other reason truly was the school part. I LOVE going and sitting in class (I always went to the front left of the classroom--I still do even when doing my exercise classes). I LOVE listening, taking notes, and raising my hand to talk, even if I am a bit like Horshack from "Welcome Back Kotter." ("Oooh-oooh-oooooh!" while raising hand vigorously.) Or, to give another example for those not familiar with "Welcome Back Kotter," see also Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter series. (God, I see so much of myself in that character!) I am such a nerd to the core, and truly in my heart, feel like school is the thing in the world I'm best at. I've never been as good at any job as I am at attending school. Unfortunately, being a professional student does the opposite of providing a pay check, but if I had the money, the first thing I'd do is enroll in classes again. I'd get a Masters in something like Political Science (my undergrad major) or even in English Lit (my minor). And when that was done, I'd move on to something else!

I know I'm probably nuts, and most of you reading this could not be more glad to not have to go to class. So, if any of my readers out there ARE actually going back to class, enjoy it and know there's at least one person who'd love to trade places with you. :)

August Update

2009-08-25T20:45:00.000-04:00

So, I appear to do a lot of update posts lately. Maybe I'm having trouble with longer posts, or maybe its just a lot of little things are happening, as opposed to big things. that are good for writing long posts. Either way, I guess a short post is better than no post!

1) The weekend we got back from the UP, B-Nutt went on his annual camping sojourn with his buddies. I'm always glad when that's done for the year, because its such a hassle on our end. It shouldn't stress me out, because I have nothing to do with it, but it totally does. Brian cooks every year, and so there's always tons of food and drink laying around, we make numerous trips shopping, etc. Aack! The only reason I tolerate it is because he enjoys doing it so much.

2) The weekend after camping, we and the Meese's went to Chicago to visit the Fontana's. We went for the Air Show (which the girls ended up not going to anyway!), but mainly to attend Erica's "retirement" party. Haha! That made me laugh (Erica "retired" to being a stay at home mom). But it was really good to see John, Erica and the kids, and they are doing tons of great things to their house. And Dominic and Lia are about some of the cutest kids ever. Always a good time and loved the road trip with the Meese's. I think Candace was amazed at how funny Brian is in the car for long periods of time!

3) My work is in full swing again and so is Brian's. So, he's traveling a lot the last few weeks and coming up in the future. I've been in Saginaw a ton, so putting a ton of miles on my car (thank god for mileage reimbursement). But it looks like Thursday Candace and I will be hanging out and having fun, so that's good!

4) Finally, Brian and I are still figuring out what route we want to take, adoption wise. We have a pretty good idea what we'll be doing, but I'm not ready to make any official announcement yet. When I am, I will. :)

Later!

UP Trip Part Two

2009-08-08T08:45:00.001-04:00

As the rain falls in buckets outside my window this morning, and before I go to yoga class, I decided to write up Part Two of the UP trip. Here goes!

On Saturday, as the rain was falling in Grand Marais, Brian and I took off to drive to the Keweenaw Peninsula. Drive time was about 4 and a half hours plus time to stop. We drove across US 41, through the edge of Munising, Marquette (looks pretty), Ishpeming and Nagaunee (both nice little towns on the water). We stopped in Ishpeming and had lunch at their brewery there and Brian bought a growler to bring home (of course). We got to our inn in Laurium/Calumet at about 2:30. We stayed at the Laurium Manor Inn, which is this huge old mansion built in 1908 by a copper baron. All the rooms are different, and you learn about the history of your room when you're there. We stayed in the Hecla room, which was the bedroom of the family's oldest son, Calvin. I picked this room out because of the mural of deer and elk on the walls. If you're interested, check it out.

http://www.laurium.info/

I would highly recommend if it you stay up in that area! It was so gorgeous and a full buffet breakfast was included every morning! They also have a B&B across the street, and two weekly rental cottages for groups that do not include breakfast. Totally awesome!

Saturday night, we drove back to Hancock and went to Mary and Ted's house. Brian got to meet them, as he never had before. And he also got to meet their little girl Elaine, who is still cute as a button. We hung out at their house for a while, chatting, and then went to dinner at a place in Houghton (just across the portage from Hancock) called the Library Pub. Again, a brew pub (does it sound like my husband likes beer?). We left Mary and Ted's and went back to the inn and collapsed. It was so nice sleeping in a real bed after sleeping in a tent for 3 days!

Sunday we decided to go to Copper Harbor and Eagle Harbor. We drove up US 41, a twisty, turny road in that area, and made it to Ft. Wilkins at Copper Harbor. Ft. Wilkins is a state park, an old army post from the 1840s that's all redone to be authentic with displays and things. They also have kids from Northern dress up and act the parts of servicemen, etc. It was really neat! After Ft. Wilkins, we headed into Copper Harbor itself and found the infamous Harbor House, which is a German restaurant right on the water where the ladies dress up in outfits and go dance on the dock if the boat from Isle Royale comes in. (We did not see this!) We took pictures of the lighthouse, but didn't actually go to it, because it was an expensive boat ride to get over there.

Next, we headed to Eagle Harbor, but went the long way around. We drove to the top of Brockway Mountain and took awesome pictures of Copper Harbor from up there. On the mountain, we ran into Mary and Ted, a big coincidence and planned again to meet for dinner! Brian kept saying at the top of the mountain that it didn't seem to him we were in Michigan, and that this was as pretty as anything he'd seen in Europe. I agree.

We then went to Eagle Harbor, which has a lighthouse and a little museum, but all in all, we think it wasn't what it was cracked up to be. Then, we went to the old Quincy Copper Mine and did the full tour, including underground. The Keweenaw used to be big mining country, and there are tons of old mines that you can tour. It was really neat, but a little unnerving to be 374 feet underground, especially when the tour kid turned off the lights and showed us how the miners worked by candlelight. Yikes!

That night, we had dinner with Mary, Ted, and Elaine at the Hut Inn, a local landmark. A nice time was had by all, I think. Monday morning, we got up, had breakfast, and headed out at about 8:45. We got home at about 6:30 and stopped for only 45 minutes--a total of 9 hours of driving time! What a long day! But it was a great trip!

Here are some more pictures. This one is of the snow stick on the way to Copper Harbor. Yes, that does read a record snowfall of over 30 feet the year I was born. If you can read it, the average is about 20 feet! We get about an average of 4 feet and complain about it!

Next, we have a view of the Copper Harbor lighthouse. We took this from a scenic overlook that's part of the State Park. Maybe next time we'll take the boat ride over.

Finally, we have a pic of Brian on the top of Brockway Mountain. It is gorgeous up there, and you can see all the old growth forest below.

UP Trip Part One

2009-08-05T13:34:00.010-04:00

So, we are back from our trip to the UP. We left last Wednesday and got home Monday night. We had so much to do yesterday to catch up! But today I have a few minutes to sit down and post some stuff here about the trip. I'll do the first part today and then the second part in the next few days!

Wednesday morning we left and headed up to Grand Marais to camp with my aunt and uncle, Marty and Margaret, and my cousins Nolan and Emma. Margaret's mom Jan was also there, and a whole bunch of friends of Marty and Margarets'. After a 6 hour drive (plus stopping time), we got to the campground late in the afternoon and set up the tent. It was my first time tent camping, and it was fine for 3 nights. I could maybe handle one more night and that's about it! And we were lucky not to have any true inclement weather! Anyway, the campground was right on Lake Superior, and the views were awesome. What a pretty place!

On Thursday, we traveled around with Margaret and the kids and her mom and friends to 4 different sets of falls in the area, and got great pictures. We also had pasties at Muldoon's in Munising. Pasties are good, but I've had my fill of them for awhile! Friday, Brian and I went on a trip to Whitefish Point/Paradise to go to the Shipwreck Museum. We saw the bell off the Edmund Fitzgerald and spoke to a man who was on board the Arthur Anderson (the ship right behind the Fitz) that day. He said it was the worst storms he's ever seen in his life, and talked a lot with Brian about that terrible day. Then, we had fish and chips lunch at the Fish Haus in Paradise. Best fish I've ever had, fresh caught out of the lake that day! Then, we headed to both Upper and Lower Tahquamenon Falls. Totally awesome! We had dinner that night at the brew pub in Grand Marais, which has good pizza and beer.

Here are some pics. The first one is of the sunset off the break wall in Grand Marais. Margaret took this picture with our camera. Amazing.

This picture is of Wagner Falls, outside of Munising. There are tons of neat falls in that general area if you go. Also, Pictured Rocks are there, which we were not able to see. So, we've decided we must go back!

Finally, we have a picture Brian took at Lower Tahquamenon Falls. Both the upper and lower are awesome and you can actually hike the 4 miles in between the two parks! Of course, you either have to then hike back to your car, have someone there to pick you up, or pay an outrageous $9 a person for a shuttle that takes you back. Someday!

Latest Happenings, and Happenings to be...

2009-07-23T11:00:00.000-04:00

Man, I haven't written here very much lately! So sorry to anyone who actually reads this thing! The thing is that I just haven't had a ton going on lately. Here's a rundown of things that have happened and things to come.

1) Got the carpets cleaned on Monday. Not exciting, I know, but I was happy. And they weren't nearly as bad as I thought, and some big yucky stains in the dining room came up great. Now I know when they've been done, and we hired a local Howell company to do it, which makes me feel good. The tech was very nice and he was in and out in 2 and a half hours for the whole house. Not bad! And the price wasn't too bad either!

2) I do not have an update on the 19 year old marrying the 75 year old guy situation. I asked my parents when we were up there for Tim Brown's open house last weekend, and they haven't heard anything. I am dying of curiosity!

3) I've been working and working again, which is fine. Money is nice. I was supposed to have two weeks off at the beginning of the month, and it ended up being shortened. There's not much in August yet from what I hear. Miss April, I want to come out and see you or have you come and visit the house again! I know you didn't get to see much when you came for my party! And thanks again for coming, I'm so glad you did.

4) We leave on Wednesday for our trip up north. Very excited! I got Brian a new camera for our anniversary/his birthday, so there may be good pics to post! And the campsite and inn both have wi-fi, so they may be up quickly, if we get around to it!

5) I've also had a request to take pics of the house for my friend Miss Laura (Newly engaged! Congrats!) out in California so she can see the house. She's asked me to post them here. I'll try to do that, so sorry I haven't yet!

6) Finally, just a quick update on baby stuff. In a nutshell, there is no update. The more intervention we try, the less pregnant I get. I do not expect that I can put myself through this crap much longer. Brian is getting tired of it too, and he's not even the one getting poked and prodded and on medicine all the time. So, we may stop this pursuit soon and move on to building our family in another way. I am very excited about that prospect!

Fourth of July Weirdness

2009-07-08T08:15:00.000-04:00

So, I know I posted this a little on FB, but I must elaborate on the the weirdness at my parents' house on the Fourth of July.

First off, its really true that Brian and I were REALLY out of place. We were completely surrounded by 17 year olds and 70 year olds. Grant had a ton of people there, probably 20 teenage kids, some who seemed nice and some who were annoying, as many teenagers are! I can't get over how old these teenage girls look now--is 15 the new 25? Good lord, those girls are more made up and put together than I am now at 30. What happened to braces and pimply faces? For those of you who read this who knew me in high school, we DID NOT look like that 12 or so years ago.

As for the 70 year olds, my parents friends seem to be aging at a rapid rate of acceleration--a few short years ago, it seems their friends were their age. Now, it seems that they have about 2 friends their own age, and the rest are all literally senior citizens, which my parents are not. So, Brian ended up hanging out with my cousin Cory all night (age 21, and he even felt old next to the kids) and I talked to my mom and grandma, and hung out with Brian and Cory. And Holly and Denny later when they came over! Holly did not bring the kids, which was probably for the best, and so Emily got to stay at home with her Grandpa Jim (Holly's dad), who she proudly informed her mother is her "BFF." Where the heck does a 3 and a half year old learn BFF???

Finally, we get to the part I know many of you are wondering about....the 75 year old marrying the 19 year old. Here is the story. This guy Ron has been a friend of my parents for a long time. He's also done a ton of carpentry/building work for them, which is his forte and he's very good at it. I guess a few years ago he bought a house in the UP up by the Soo and began spending summers up there, working and enjoying himself (For a 75 year old, this guy looks like a healthy 60 year old and could outwork any of his reading or writing this blog!). Across the street lived this family of a single dad with 3 kids, mom took off to Ohio. I guess they are kind of wacky religious, and the kids, especially the 2 girls, are not allowed to talk to anybody not approved by the dad. They've been homeschooled, haven't had jobs, etc. These people are also really poor, and Ron would frequently raid my mother's garden for all sorts of stuff to take up to them so they'd have food. Well, this girl starting hanging around Ron, and dad let it go, probably thinking he was harmless. When he came back down to Mayville for the winter, she kept calling him and calling him. He would pick and talk to her, partially to not be rude but I'm also sure he enjoyed the attention. He claims that he told her repeatedly to go get a boyfriend her own age, to no avail. Well, the absent mom comes in the picture and tells Ron to quit talking to her daughter, etc, and his response is "She's been calling ME, all I do is pick up the phone." Fast forward to this summer, and they are apparently getting married this week, and might be already as I write this blog. When I saw them at the party, I seriously thought it was his cute little granddaughter, until Jim tells us all otherwise, and my Mom confirmed the story. We totally thought he was pulling our leg, but no. Obviously, this girl sees this as her way out, and I'm sure Ron enjoys having a cute young girl on his arm. If everyone is going into it with eyes open, not my business.....but I was grossed out a second time when Jim wondered out loud if the girl might be pregnant.....

Where the hell did June go?

2009-06-30T22:15:00.002-04:00

Um, so 2 weeks have passed since I last blogged. I have no idea where the hell the month went since my party. I've just been very very busy! Not much to report on this last day of June. I'm happy Candace and Oliver are coming back tonight, as I'm now off on break from work for 2 weeks and desperately want to hang out! I think we may go to the Zoo, hang out at the pool, etc. I'm excited. I'm also very excited that Brian and I are going up north for a few days at the end of July, beginning of August. We're camping in Grand Marais with my aunt, uncle and cousins, and then heading to Houghton/Hancock for a few days to see my friend Mary and drive up to Copper Harbor! Fun! This coming weekend is the Fourth of July, with my mother's yearly party that Brian and I have never actually attended together. We've always had other plans! So this year, that's it. I feel like so many things are going on, before I know it, fall will be here and I'll have missed the summer totally. We have the Kid Rock show to go to in a few weeks, and Jimmy Buffett in August, after Brian goes camping. We're so busy, its crazy! I hope to talk to everyone soon!

They Say It's My Birthday!

2009-06-17T13:45:00.000-04:00

So, sorry it took me so long to do a recap of my par-tay. Sunday was spent cleaning up and sleeping, and I've worked a ton Monday, yesterday, and today. So, for those of you who weren't there, or who haven't heard the whole BB gun story, here goes!

Brian and our friend Paul did sooooo much prep on Friday night. Brian had said it would be a couple hours, and it ended up being 7 hours. I was so stressed out. Paul was at our house until almost 1 am. I felt really bad that we kept him away from Marcy and Merina for that long. And he was back at the house at 11 am Saturday morning. It was crazy. Also, my kitchen was COMPLETELY trashed and Brian kept assuring me that he would clean it up before everyone got there, which I knew was completely impossible, which stressed me out even more. So, Grant and I ended up cleaning when Tim and Brian went to go the get the keg and go to GFS. I was going totally nuts. The weather also had me nuts, as it rained the whole morning before the party started, and despite the fact we had a tent, I did NOT want people to have to sit out in the rain. That totally sucks.

So, the party started on time, and guests started arriving, which is always the fun part. The preparation leading up to the party is always the worst for me--the party itself is fun, because I enjoy seeing everyone. It was very good to see family, as always, and I particularly appreciate friends that came from far out of town, like Kate and Paul, April and JB, and Tom and Mer. (Another shout out Miss A!) I was in the kitchen when Kate and Paul arrived, and suddenly I turned around and there was Paul, and I screamed like a teenage girl. I asked where Kate was, and Paul said she was coming in. Well, I sprinted for the door, flung it open, and there she was. I again screamed like a little girl, and then tackled her so hard her beer went flying onto my laundry room floor. Hell, that's why it's tiled right? I was also thrilled when April and JB arrived with Miss Olivia, and later on when Tom and Mer came. I'm also obviously always happy to see Holly and the kids and Candace and Ollie! I was also happy to meet Kelly and Shawn's new baby, Aiden.

The party went well, the pig was great. My mom was nice enough to carve it up for Brian, and a few of the kids found it very fascinating that the pig had a face. Some of the adults were simultaneously grossed out by that fact. The food that Brian and Paul made was great, and there were ample drinks. We actually ended up having TONS of the side dishes left over, so much so that my mom and Holly each took several trays home, and we have 3 or 4 in the freezer. Later on in the day, the family took off and it was all of us and our friends, which was fun. We FINALLY cut Marcy's awesome birthday cake, which was round and looked like a beach, with an umbrella, beach shoes, towels, etc, all that were edible. It was awesome and people loved it!

Okay, so here's the deal with the BB guns. Earlier in the day, my neighbor had come around and warned us that kids were riding around the sub in a golf cart shooting BB guns. Not cool. So, we had some warning of what was going on. About 9 pm, Brian and a bunch of our friends were in the garage hanging out, and I was inside, when all of a sudden, BB's starting being fired into our garage. Grady and Laura got hit, but they are okay. Brian and a bunch of our friends took off through the woods and across the fields to the kids' house, which is a farm house behind our sub. They found the kids with their parents, and a few friends that they had over. The exchanges were heated at first, until Brian calmed people down and the guys presented evidence that it had, in fact, been those boys who did the shooting. The dad proceeded to smash the BB guns and the mom freaked out when she found out there had been roughly 30 little kids running around all day. Brian and the guys came back to the house, and a bit later, we ended up calling the cops to report it. The State boys came out and talked to us, and went to the boys house, and they got stern talking to. Sunday night, they came to our door with their dad and apologized again, and we all had a discussion. I think the cops scared the crap out of those kids, and I think they've hopefully learned the lesson. I don't think we'll be seeing them around the sub again.

So that's what went down! To all of you that attended, thanks for coming, and for those who couldn't come, I wish you'd been able to!

Celebrate Good Times Come On!

2009-06-09T10:00:00.001-04:00

Okay, so I realized the other day I haven't written in my bloggedy-blog for about 2 weeks. I fell off the wagon! I had a few minutes before I start work this morning, so decided to talk about my party that's coming up!

My birthday's on Saturday! I'm so excited! I hope everyone's coming and the weather stays nice and we all have a good time. Brian has done a good job getting things organized, everything is mostly bought and the few things that aren't will get taken care of Friday. He took the day off work to party prep and the boys are coming down with the dead pig to stay the night. They'll start that pig first thing on Saturday morning! There is going to be plenty of food and drink for everyone. There's going to be the pig, obviously, and all the sides. Baked beans, hawaiian rice, 2 kinds of potatoes, fruit salad, (among others) and 4 different kinds of sauces for the pig. And Marcy is making me a cool luau themed cake. We rented a tent and tables. Our friend Chad is not going to be able to DJ as he had thought about doing, as he has to be out of town for a family party, but we'll have music outside, I'm sure. Brian reserved a keg of Labatt's Blue Light, and we have alcohol to make big containers of mai tais. We also have plenty of pop, water, and juice for the kids.

So, come one, come all, to the best party around! Can't wait to see some of my friends whom I haven't seen in a awhile, including frequent reader Miss April, and my friends from South Bend Kate and Paul (aka Katers and Paolo). And of course I'm always happy to see all my family and friends, and Brian loves throwing a party, so this was a great excuse!

See you all there, gotta go, work is starting!

Visits, Yard Work, Party Planning and Fenderbenders

2009-05-26T21:30:00.000-04:00

Boy, the title to this post just about says it all regarding what's been going on with me lately. Here's a quick rundown, giving some more details!

1) This past weekend I drove to Gladwin and visited my old friend Mary at her home there. She and her baby were down from Hancock (in the UP, where Michigan Tech is) having a huge garage sale and getting their house ready to sell. It was so good to see Mary again, as we had sort of fallen out of touch since before I met Brian. She was having some stuff go on in her personal life, I was busy with law school, and she and Ted moved to Gladwin, so it just sort of happened. We reconnected via Facebook (the only person I've reconnected with on FB that I'm really happy about.) Mary is the same old Mary, in a good way. Still the most bad ass chick I've ever met, even as the mother of a super cute daughter named Elaine. I'm so glad to be back in touch with her.

2) Brian and I remulched the front of the house yesterday. It took 6 yards of mulch and it wasn't quite enough. We'll have to go get a few bags to finish it up, but all in all, it looks really good again. We did it a lot thicker this year than last year, and it is much better that way. Brian worked really hard, much harder than me, and deserves praise (which he got).

3) We've been working hard to get the final details of the party planned out. Tent ordered, drinks planned, plates and stuff mostly purchased. Headcount is mostly complete. Can't wait to see everyone!

4) Today on my way home from seeing Candace and Oliver, I went to Meijer to get groceries on the way home. As I was leaving, I carefully looked around and proceeded to back out of my spot, at the same time a crazy middle aged lady in a Chevy Impala who had passed behind me proceeded to slam on the brakes and back up at about 30 miles an hour to get that spot that's all of 5 feet closer to the store. And you know, in the process, backs right into me. Gee thanks. I probably need a new bumper. It's not that bad, but the way cars are built now, they have to replace the whole damn bumper for a minor injury. Argh! Just trust me when I say that this was not my day. It was sort of a rough morning, for reasons I'll keep private.

More updates later!

Fainting Update!

2009-05-14T21:00:00.000-04:00

Miss April specifically asked me and others might be interested, so here's an update on what's up with my fainting.

Basically, I took some tests last Friday, namely a glucose tolerance test and a full thyroid panel. The thyroid panel was actually at my request, just to check it. My TSH is normal, but I've never had the full panel done, and thyroid issues can cause miscarriages and other problems, so for my peace of mind, I asked for it. My doctor is so cool, she had no issue with me asking and added the tests to my lab order. Of course she's cool, she went to Western too! (And she's only 2 years older than I am!).

My test results came in on Tuesday. And the grand verdict is..........There is nothing wrong with me! My sugar was normal and so was the thyroid. Apparently, I just like to faint for no reason. She said at this point, she didn't need to see me, and advised me to make sure I eat regularly (not a problem) and to eat more protein and less sugar (will be a challenge, as sugar is my favorite food group). She said if it happens again, come see her immediately, as there are other, more invasive things she can check me for (like heart stuff, etc). I did have an EKG in the ER, which came out normal. So, I guess, sometimes people just faint.

Also, just thought I'd throw in here that my dog bite bruise is healing well and looks a lot less gross. And I finally fixed my torn pants. But I'm really disappointed the owners of the dog never came to see me after their vacation, like they promised they would. The next time I ride by their house (very cautiously, I might add), if I see them, I'm going to stop and call them out on it.

That's all for now. Bye all!

Stress and Humiliation!

2009-05-07T20:15:00.000-04:00

Okay, so most of you have heard this story already, but I'll tell it here in case anybody didn't and want to read the details.

As many of you know, Brian had to be gone for work since last Wednesday. He just got home today. I was by myself last weekend, doing fine, and on Sunday morning, it was totally gorgeous, so I decided to take my first bike ride of the season. I rode north up hacker Road and turned onto some dirt roads to take the route I typically take. I turned north onto Kellogg Road and was planning on riding all the way up to M-59 if I could (that's about 10 miles round trip). Well, I'm enjoying my ride and I came up a certain house I've ridden by every time on this route, probably 50 times (I ride my bike a lot in the summer). These people have horses and the pen is really close to the road, so I always make noises at the horses, and say hi to them, as I ride by. These folks also have dogs--3 of them. One is an old female yellow lab who tries to lick me to death, and the other two are German Wirehaired Pointers that are normally in a pen. I've vaguely noticed them before, they would bark at me, but not threateningly. I never thought the dogs were vicious.

So, last Sunday, I'm riding by the house, and make my normal horse-greeting noises, thinking nothing of it. Well, the two Pointers were NOT in their pen and they came after me as I rode by. They started barking and barking and ran right next to me. I obviously freaked out, and started pedaling harder, hoping they would fall back. They did not, and the female tried to take a chunk out of my leg. When I felt teeth, I started screaming. A woman ran out of the house and screamed at them, and the dogs let go of me, and she put them in their pen. She then starting profusely apologizing, asking me if I was okay, if I wanted her to call the police, etc. I looked down at my pants and they were ripped in 3 places. I lifted my pant leg, and my leg was bruised to hell and the skin had been broken, but not badly.

Anyway, the owners are out of town, and the woman that helped me was the housesitter. I decided she didn't need to call the cops, as I wasn't injured that seriously. And she was able to provide me immediate proof that the dogs were vaccinated. So, I let it go at that (the owners have called me and are going to visit the house when they get back from vacation).

Later, I had plans to go to dinner with a friend at the Olive Garden on Novi Road. We met at 6:30 and had a very nice dinner and had hung out about 2 hours at that point when she was going to order dessert. All of a sudden, I felt very very hot, and she told me to go get some air. At that point, I knew I couldn't, I would fall down trying to get outside. The next thing I know, I'm passed out in my chair. I'm not sure if I actually ever totally lost consciousness, because I was somewhat aware of what was going on around me, and could be somewhat responsive at times. But, to me, it felt like about a minute or two, but my friend tells me I was out of it 5 or 10 minutes. By the time I came to, the ambulance crew was getting there. It was so embarrassing to be taken out of the freaking Olive Garden on a stretcher. The EMTs insisted, even though by that point, I pretty much felt fine. Also, I scared a whole table full of children.

So, they took me to the ER at Providence Park about 3 miles away. Of course, the EMTs and all the ER staff had to ask me my medical history, so I had to get into my history of miscarriages, etc. Then, they would ask me if I was pregnant, and I'd say no, and tell them exactly how I knew that. I had to repeat all this about 5 times. They then started talking about blood clots, and I had to explain the MTHFR thing 5 times and no one had ever heard of it, and I think they thought I was nuts. So, the blood clot test they ran came back slightly elevated, so they had to check me for a pulmonary embolism. I had a CT scan of my chest, which came up totally normal. I finally got to go home after 3 and half hours. They didn't really find much, and recommended I follow up with my family doctor. I am, and am having some more testing tomorrow. Hopefully, they find something so I can prevent this from happening again. That was the most embarrassing thing to happen to me ever.

Weekend at the Pocono's (Not Bernie's)

2009-04-30T20:30:00.000-04:00

Again, it's been a while since I blogged. Once the document review project ended, I went right back into deps. And last weekend, we went to the Poconos Mountains in Pennsylvania for my Aunt Marcia's 50th Birthday party. All she wanted was her family and friends at the cabin for a party, and that's what she got! My grandparents were there at their cabin, my cousin Kim (Aunt Marcia's daughter) and her husband and baby were there, my uncle Marty, aunt Margaret and cousins Emma and Nolan came, and Aunt Holli and Cory and Kayla came. Uncle Mark couldn't go for work reasons. My parents are the only ones who didn't go from our side of the family, and people were pretty disappointed with them as they really didn't have a good excuse. (I can say that without starting stuff in the family because they don't read this.)

We flew out on Friday, and ended up getting delayed out of Detroit for 2 hours. We finally left at 2:30 and landed in Newark, New Jersey, right during rush hour. Of course, just our luck. A 2 hour drive turned into 3. We finally made it to the mountains at 7 o'clock. She and my uncle, and my grandparents own cabins in a small mountain development in Greentown, Pennsylvania. Well, my grandparents place is a trailer, as are many of the places in this development. My aunt and uncle's place is a real cabin, and my uncle has done a ton of work on it. It's pretty sweet.

I must say, we were lucky this weekend that we flew. Because of that, we were unable to bring pillows and air mattresses like many other people did, so we scored a real bed at Grandpa and Grandmas. However, that bed is the WORST bed I've ever slept on (not to sound ungrateful). But it is super hard and super uncomfortable. Not that Brian was in the bed with me that much! Friday, he was up with my cousin's husband and other dudes until about 2 am, and we were up at 7. Saturday was the day of the party, and it was rocking. This side of my family are my "drinking" relatives, and my cousin Kayla was in awe at the amount of alcohol. The party itself was in the pole barn of friends of my aunt and uncle, and it worked out really well, except for there being no bathroom. You had to hike up and down a big old hill to get to the nearest bathroom! Let's just say the guys didn't bother with the hike! The party was great and went on and on, and I gave it up at about 10 because I was tired from not getting a ton of sleep the night before, but Brian didn't come to bed until 3 am.

We were both utterly exhausted the next day going home, and felt like crap. We ended up stopping at a Wendy's in New Jersey about 45 minutes out of Newark, and it was a great idea. We felt SO much better afterward, and made it home without incident, thank god. And then Brian left Monday, came home Tuesday, and left again Wednesday! And he's gone for a week, even over the weekend. And that's what going on with us the last few weeks!

Little Me

2009-04-18T21:15:00.000-04:00

The reason I haven't blogged in almost two weeks is that I have been super busy working again. This is very good--money is nice. The assignment I'm on right now is a document review project at a firm in Bloomfield Hills, so the drive is long. The hours are also kind of long, so by the time I've been getting home at night, I've been pretty damn tired. Thus, no blogging.

However, our work got canceled this weekend due to the illness of the lead attorney, so I actually find myself with a few moments to do an entry I've been wanting to do. When Brian and I went to my parents' for Easter, my grandmother came in the house and said that she'd been going through some boxes of stuff that had belonged to her mom, my great grandmother, Grandma Anderson. Grandma Anderson died in the spring of my last year in college. Grandma Anderson was famous for two things: her prolific smoking habit, and the handmade sweaters she made EVERYBODY for Christmas EVERY SINGLE year. Now, as a kid, I hated sweaters, and didn't really appreciate the gifts she made me. However, if she were alive today, I would want about 20 of those things. I do have the last thing she ever made me, which was a hand knit toiletry bag. I use it every single time I go somewhere.

So, anyway, Grandma Sharon was going through the boxes and ran across a picture. It's the picture shown above. On the back, in Grandma Anderson's very recognizable old fashioned handwriting, it says "1983." That would make me 4 years old in this photo. However, I have a feeling its really from 1984, because this is clearly a school picture, and I never went to preschool. So, I strongly feel like this is my Kindergarten school picture. Look at little me! I'm so cute, although I wish my pigtails were neater in this photo!

I have to say its really nice to have a picture of myself from when I was little. When my parents got divorced, my father was a total asshole (big shock) and destroyed all the pictures and photo albums my mom had of me and my older brother. So, there are no pictures of me left that I'm aware of me as a baby or small child. So, it's really nice to have this one. Also, I have to say I distinctly remember the sweater I'm wearing in this picture. I remember being little and looking down at myself and seeing the flowers that are all over it. I remember not liking wearing the sweater, because, as I said, I hated sweaters, but also because it was, in particular, a turtleneck (which I still hate). However, I'd give anything to have one of those sweaters now. And also, a few more pics of myself as a little kid.

"The Business of Being Born"

2009-04-07T09:30:00.000-04:00

I have to tell everyone that yesterday Candace and I watched this movie called "The Business of Being Born." It is a documentary made by Ricki Lake (yes, that Ricki Lake) after having her first son in the hospital and having what she calls a "dissatisfying" experience. After having her first son, she got really into this natural, homebirth thing, and in this movie, it actually shows her giving birth to her second son at home, in a bath tub.

I was nervous to watch this movie, as I thought the birth scenes would freak me out. In reality, the birth scenes were not as freaky as I thought it would be. The issue I have with this movie is that it clearly is made from one point of view--the anti-OB, anti-hospital birth point of view. It makes out EVERY hospital to be bad and every OB out like they just want to do C-sections all the time, etc. It also makes it seem like all women's experiences with birth in the hospital as bad or traumatic for them somehow, and presents home birth as the ONLY way to solve this problem. I mean, the scenes showing actual births in homes were depicted as almost orgasmic when the child was coming out. Seriously, the sounds the women were making sounded like porn. Good for those women that they can do that without drugs, but I simply don't think its realistic for many women. I know the argument is that all women used to give birth at home with no intervention, and my response to that is, "Yeah, that's when women used to die in labor and delivery."

Candace and I discussed this after, and we agreed that the movie makes valid points about the state of maternal health care in this country. For example, I do think hospitals and OBs, in general, do too many interventions. They are too quick to give Pitocin if things aren't moving along, they are quick to do C-sections if there is any distress (and fetal distress during a birth is common and not necessarily alarming). Hospitals want you in and out as soon as possible. Further, its an excellent point that the "laying on your back" position they make you do in the hospital is the WORST one for giving birth--you should theoretically be up and letting gravity help. However, you cannot do this if you do get an epidural, which I strongly believe should be kept widely available. Finally, the cost argument was a good one--a normal vaginal delivery in a hospital can cost $13,000. A home birth with a midwife, about $4,000. C sections cost even more, and now 1 in 3 women have a C-section. That is twice what is medically necessary, and it seems that docs down play the risk of complication from C section. It is real and it's scary, particularly with every repeat C section you have. However, this doesn't mean that 90% of women should give birth at home, or would even want to. For example, if I'm laboring at home and something bad happens--it would take a good 20-25 minutes for me to get to the hospital. In that time, something very bad could happen to me or my baby (if I ever have one). That is scary to me. And Candace stated the she doesn't consider her birth of Oliver in the hospital to have been traumatic, and I think neither do any of the women I know, so that shoots one of their arguments in the foot.

Candace and I agreed that we wished there could be some middle ground between the two sides of this debate. Like truly changing the mind set of OBs and patients that we will do as few interventions as possible and let a woman labor a long time if necessary. The problem is that OBs think midwives are crazy and midwives hate OBs, typically. So, I do think some good can come from this movie. I will say that last week I read an article in the New York Tomes online that sort of followed up this movie (I read the article before I saw the movie). It talks to some VERY dissatisfied patients of this midwife named Kara who is featured prominently in the film. She has had some very bad results that are not discussed in the film, and when things go wrong, she pretty much just dumps people at the hospital with no explanation to the medical staff there. Hospitals in the area of New York where she practices do not like her. So, that was interesting.

Anyway, I would recommend that if you watch the movie, keep in mind its from one point of view. Watch it, and form your own opinions. It was actually pretty interesting.

Proud Godmother

2009-03-30T16:30:00.000-04:00

As I stated on Facebook, I am now a proud Godmother to Jeff and Candace's son, Oliver. His baptism was yesterday down in Canton, really close to our old house (which was kind of weird). Anyway, Brian was asked to be his godfather as well, which was really wonderful. We feel very honored to be asked to play an important role in his life.

Three children were being baptized yesterday, Ollie, a little girl about his age (6 months) and a tiny baby girl. All the families sat around the fount (the bird bath looking thing with the holy water in it) in a half circle. We were in the middle. Anyway, I've never been to a Catholic baptism before (just my friend K-Lo's very cool Mennonite baptism), so I had no clue what to do. But, the deacon was very nice and guided us through. Ollie was very cute in his little outfit, and behaved like a champ. When the deacon annointed his chest with oil, Ollie tried to bite his thumb. When the holy water was dumped on his head, he just had this startled look on his face, then when it was done, he squealed. And when his head was annointed with the other oil, he, again, just let out a squeal. Afterwards, there were many pictures taken, so I was careful yesterday to make sure I had good makeup and hair going so I'd look my best for Candace's pictures! Brian also looked snazzy in his blue button down and sport jacket. My husband is CUTE.

After the ceremony, we went to Jeff's parents' house for a family party. The men spent most of their time watching the State game (go MSU!). The ladies sat around and chatted (mostly about babies and kids) and Candace opened Ollie's gifts. You know, a typical family style party. The food and cake were delicious, and we appreciate the Meese's having us in their home. Again, we truly appreciate and are honored by the fact that we were asked to have that role in Oliver's life.

As a side note, Brian was completely in his element yesterday at the church and during the ceremony. Me not being Catholic (or anything, really) I had no idea what to expect, and it was a cake walk for him. He knew every prayer and exactly what to do and obviously felt really comfortable. It's strange for me to see him in that light, because he's never really gone to Mass or been involved in his church the entire time we've been together. But its the same feeling I get when we travel together and we go in cathedrals, and he stops and crosses himself in the holy water. It's weird for me, but natural for him. So, quite honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he becomes a church goer again...

Nada, Zippo, Zilch

2009-03-24T15:45:00.000-04:00

Since we've gotten back from Florida, I've had nada, zippo, zilch to do. Especially this week. Work is slow, slow, slow, the house is clean, and it's not exactly warm enough to do real yard work yet. I wish I had actual, paying work to do, but, alas, no. Which, quite frankly, I do not understand.

Almost two weeks ago, I had this big phone call with the head partner, in which he proceeded to tell me how busy they are, and they have "125 hours a month of research and writing work for me to do, if I want it." Then, he proceeds to state, "We don't really care about your personal situation nor do we need to know what it is, we just need to know if you want to work, and if so how much." (They don't even know what my personal situation is, for pity's sake. All they know is that I had to have some time off. Way to be a jerk.) He told me to take some time and think about it, and get back to them. The very next day, I emailed him and the other attorney I deal with a lot and told them specifically that I was ready and able to work, and exactly how much work I was wanting. Since they were so busy, I was thinking I'd get work last week.

Nope. As I said earlier, nada, zippo, zilch. Earlier today, I sent them a very nice email, checking status. I have not heard back yet. It's really frustrating. If they've decided they don't want to "deal with me" anymore because of my "personal situation," fine, whatever. If that's the case, just let me know so I can move on. If not, give a girl some damn work! I'm starting to wish I had just gotten a job in retail when we moved out here a year and a half ago, but oh well. And the sucky thing is that those jobs are all filled right now because retail is so bad! So I'm a bit stuck!

I'll keep you up on what's going on. But until then, I guess I'll go continue reading "Atlas Shrugged."

No Needles for Me, No Sir

2009-03-16T21:00:00.001-04:00

Brian and I had another appointment today at the special baby making doctor's office. Before we went on vacation, I had several tests run, and I just needed in my own head to talk it through with the doc a little more before we jumped back into anything. All the tests he had run turned out well, which makes things even more frustrating (trust me, when you deal with a situation like this, you want them to find something wrong, just so you have some certainty). I know I talked a bit in a previous post about heparin, which is a blood thinner. The doc doesn't think I need it, but I sort of think I do. And that's what I wanted to talk about today a little more.

We started off first discussing why he wants to give me Clomid (which stimulates the ovaries) when I have no flipping trouble getting pregnant. He stated the Clomid would be to optimize conditions at ovulation, keeping good hormone levels high, and making things best as possible for embryo implantation. But he also said, if I don't want to do it, its my choice. He feels its just one thing that may up my chances a little and won't hurt (other than slightly increasing my chances of having twins--they do monitor you to help prevent that). Okay, I understand that, and I totally appreciate the fact that he's not pushing it.

Then, we moved on to discussing heparin, the blood thinner shots. Again, certain enzyme levels I have are good, and my clotting times are good, which would indicate that I don't need the heparin despite having the gene mutation. However, its hard to trust what's being told to you when you have numerous women on message boards telling you that you "absolutely have to have it and I cannot believe your doctor will not give it to you! Mine gave it to me without question! I would absolutely get a second opinion!" We discussed this at length.

I asked him if he doesn't feel I need it and neither do a lot of other women, why are so many doctors giving it to their patients? He stated that 1) he feels that many doctors just don't understand the literature regarding its usefulness, or in his opinion, lack thereof 2) many women are given it simply to shut them up (i.e., the squeaky wheel gets oiled) and 3) the risk of complications from it is relatively low, so a lot of people use it just for the hell of it. Here are my feelings on those responses. 1) This doc is really smart, and really seems like he knows what he's doing, so I can believe that--people can read medical literature in whatever way they want to suit their agenda. 2) I can also buy that argument--that a doc would give somebody a drug just to shut them up and make them go away. 3) Even going in there as a patient asking for it, I understand the risk is small, but real, so I appreciate that the doc's priority is to see no harm comes to me. He also said that if I did get pregnant and any test result came back weird or anything happened that made him think heparin would be helpful, he would certainly prescribe it then. It's something that you only need once you're pregnant, typically.

Also, I have noticed increased bruising just from being on the baby aspirin I'm on, so it does make me nervous to use the heparin. I gave myself a horrible bruise lately simply banging my leg on a stadium seat in Florida--this thing is the size of a softball and will probably take several weeks to heal. And it didn't even hurt very much when I did it, at the time I thought nothing of it. That is another indication that I 1) have thin enough blood as it is and don't need the heparin and 2) giving me the heparin could be potentially very dangerous. If I were on the heparin and did that to myself, I could possibly bleed out and die. Seriously. I mean that risk is very, very small, but I specifically asked Brian if it would be worth it to him, and he said no. The doc said he'd give it to me if I insisted, but that huge bruise freaks me out big time. So, I think I probably won't do it. I guess in the end, I'd rather be alive than have a baby.

So, that's what up. The doc said take some time and figure out what we want to do and when, and then give him a call. He also said that if we did decide on adoption instead, they could help us with resources. He, himself, is on an advisory board that helps encourage adoption. So, if that's the route we take, we have a little help there too (on top of all the other help that friends have offered). Honestly, I can't do this many more times, so fairly soon, this will be over one way or the other (either we have a baby, or I have another loss and we move on for good). That'll be the day I hope for--when our lives are back to normal and all this bullshit is done.

M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E! (and Tigers too!)

2009-03-09T20:45:00.000-04:00

Sorry, I didn't blog in Florida, but I didn't have my computer with me (Brian had his). Also, sorry there's not pictures to be had, but they're on the camera still and not on my hard drive. :)

We got back yesterday from Florida and had a great time! We left Saturday the 28th, and went straight to Disney. We were lucky and got our room right away, so we dropped off some of our stuff and went to the Magic Kingdom! Brian's eyes lit up as we saw everything Disney. The weather was great that day and we had fun walking around and riding rides (although I don't do roller coasters). Later that night, we went to the Cirque de Soleil show "La Nouba", which is only in Downtown Disney, which is just a big place with bars, restaurants and stores that's owned by Disney. She show was awesome, and we both really enjoyed it. We then went and collapsed at our room at the Fort Orleans Riverside resort (a really nice place, BTW, I would recommend).

The next day was rainy and nasty, but we did Epcot anyway. We didn't get to see everything we wanted to because we had a dinner reservation that night at the German Biergarten in the World Showcase at Epcot. It was awesome and sort of like being in Munich all over again, but not quite. :) Also, we stayed for the fireworks show that they do over the big lake. Very awesome! Monday, we did the Animal Kingdom (more for the kiddies, we think) and went back to Epcot to finish a few things out and have dinner.

Tuesday, we fulfilled another of Brian's childhood dreams by going to Lakeland to see our beloved Tigers in spring training. It was really bizarre, as the Tigers were playing team Venezuela in an exhibit for the World Baseball Classic, and 4 of our major players were playing for their country, and thus, playing against their own team. But, the Tigers beat Team Venezuela that day, so all was well. Wednesday, we went to Disney Hollywood Studios and stayed for the fireworks show they have there, which was very good, and I again, would recommend.

Thursday, we left Disney and went to Port St. Lucie on the east side of the state to stay with our friends Steve and Nancy for the third year in a row. They live in PGA Village, which is a big golf resort complex that is gated, etc. We hung out, went to old school Florida bars, and saw another ball game at Tradition Field, which is where the Mets train. Nancy fed us awesome food and the boys geeked it up on their computers for 3 days. We had a very nice time.

All in all, a very nice week! Maybe the best vacation we've ever taken, because it was such low stress!

The Windy City

2009-02-24T09:20:00.000-05:00

I am not kidding when I say that Brian and I are barely going to be home for a month. We went to Grand Rapids for Valentine's Day, and this past weekend, we went to Chi-town for a visit with his BFF John and his wife Erica, and their gorgeous kids, Lia and Dominic.

The Fontana's moved to Wilmette, north of Chi-town, late last summer after John took a different job within his company. We've been wanting to visit them since they moved, and just now got a chance, due to many things that have happened with us, and things that have happened with them. Things are finally settling down, so we planned the weekend and went. We left at 10:30 am for the 4.5 hour drive so that we'd get there before the crazy insane rush hour traffic began. We were lucky, we did miss it for the most part, and made it there in 5 hours with a stop for gas and lunch. As we were driving through the neighborhood, I was struck by how narrow the streets are, even the main thoroughfares! I don't think I'd feel comfortable driving there, especially not Brian's truck. Maybe my car, but with as bad as my depth perception is, I'd probably be taking off other people's mirrors!

John and Erica's new house is nice, in an old neighborhood that looks like it's really great for kids. Lots of neighbors, and easy to ride bikes and push strollers through. The house itself is old, from the 1920s or so, so it has lots of character and details that our circa 2001 McMansion just doesn't have! (To frequent reader A--you would love this house totally and completely, it is right up your alley!) Their house is actually about 1 block from Northwestern University's football stadium, so I see more tailgates in my future. Tailgates right in John and Erica's driveway. We spent Friday night in Evanston, having dinner with the Fontana's and the Adams', other friends who live in Chi-town. We haven't seen Tom and Meridith in ages, and haven't seen their daughter Olivia since she was 6 months old, and now she's almost 3. Dinner was great, but chaotic with 3 little kids, and trying to wrestle around for parking spots. We played some Rock Band and MarioKart also, and had fun.

On Saturday, we just hung out, and ended up going on a drive up through the North Shore suburbs. Holy Crap. Some of those houses look like castles and have servants' quarters that are larger than John and Erica's house (which is not small, mind you). We got coffee in Winnetka, and came back to the house. The Adams' came over for dinner, and the kids played great by themselves for a long time, so we adults got to play games for almost 2 hours. We played some more MarioKart and went to bed! (As a side note, I think 3 year old Lia is better than many of the adults.)

Sunday coming home was fine, thank goodness, all the bad weather had passed. We came home down Lake Shore Drive, which is always pretty, and Brian pointed out to me his old neighborhood. We actually ended up stopping in Chesterton, Indiana for lunch, which is about 10 miles up the road from Valpo, off the same exit. That was weird, I obviously haven't been there in almost 5 years! We made it home in good time.

So, the next post here will probably be from Florida. We leave Saturday for MickeyMouse Land and then a visit with our friends Steve and Nancy. I'm so excited to go to warm weather, and we really need some time for ourselves to have fun together!

Grand Rapids Weekend

2009-02-15T20:15:00.000-05:00

Brian and I went to Grand Rapids this weekend. He was seeing Motley Crue at Van Andel Arena Friday night, and I was going to hang out with April and finally meet baby Olivia. The drive to GR went great and we made great time. We were staying the weekend at the JW Marriott downtown, which is a gorgeous hotel and is hooked right to Van Andel by a catwalk. Saturday, for Valentine's Day, I had planned trips to the Meijer Gardens, the Van Andel Museum, a restaurant and a piano bar. Brian knew these things were planned, by the way, I'd like to add.

Friday night was great. I had a great time with April and her sister Anne, who is staying with her and JB for awhile. Baby Olivia is gorgeous and huge for her age! Since April is 5'10" and JB is 6'4", it's not really a surprise that Liv is big! We went to a great restaurant called Marie Catrib's, which is Middle Eastern/a little bit of everything (the owner immigrated from Lebanon). The food was great and Marie herself came out to fawn over Olivia! I left April's at about 10:30, wanting to get back to the hotel before the concert got out. I did, and was walking on the catwalk from the parking structure to the hotel, and the most random thing happened. I ran into Laura, who is a paralegal at B&T in Grand Rapids (I did a summer project for them a couple years ago in South Bend). She was in South Bend at the same time, working on the same project and we became friends. She had been at a bar across the street after work and was walking to her car, which was parked in the same structure I was in. We ended up going in the hotel bar and chatting until 12:30. It was so nice to see her too!

Ummm, as I said above, Brian and I had all sorts of fun things planned on Saturday. The day did not go as planned. All I want to say is that it was a very bad Valentine's Day for us, and it'll take Brian a long time to make it up to me. By later in the day, things were somewhat better, and we attempted to go to San Chez, a tapas restaurant. When I called them earlier in the week, I was told they don't take reservations and that I should get there before 6 to somewhat beat the rush. We arrived at 5:30 to find that half the restaurant was taken over by a wedding reception, and the wait was already over an hour long. I wasn't told about the reception earlier in the week or I probably would have picked another restaurant! Well, we were both starving, so we decided not to wait, and went to a steak place that was a couple blocks away. It was great, but we were a little underdressed, so we tried not to draw attention to ourselves! Anyway, we left at 7, and went to Mojo's, a dueling piano bar. It was tons of fun and I would definitely go back.

I'd like to go back to Grand Rapids and go back to Meijer Garden in the summer time and get to go to San Chez this time. Hopefully, we will again and will have a smoother weekend next time.

But I'm Not Dead Yet

2009-02-08T21:45:00.001-05:00

The title of this blog refers to my favorite bit from the always awesome movie, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." It's the scene in which people are supposed to "bring out your dead" (people who died in the plague), but they end up throwing someone on the funeral cart who's not dead yet. That makes me laugh every single time when the guy pops his head up and says "But I'm not Dead Yet," only to be whacked over the head and killed. Well, it was also an awesome scene in the awesome musical based on the movie. Yes, last night, Brian and I saw the absolutely hysterical "Spamalot" (along with our fantastic friends Danielle and Grady).

Okay, so if you've seen the "Holy Grail," you pretty much know how "Spamalot" is going to go, but I have to say, I think the musical is even funnier than the movie. It starts with the Finnish "Fisch Slapping Song" and goes on from there. They do all the best bits--the sentries arguing over the velocity of an African Swallow vs a European Swallow, whether coconuts migrate, the French Taunters, and my favorite, the Not Dead Yet Scene. There is also an awesome song called, "His Name is Lancelot," in which the scenery was so colorful Brian thought his head was going to explode. I was pretty much laughing out loud for 2 hours. The best part though, was in the Knights Who Say Ni scene, where they updated the play and did a shout out to Kwame. They broke out into a little bit of of "All My Exes Live in Texas," which became "All My Ex-Mayors Live in Texas," and then they said that he'll come back from Texas when he realizes that the strippers there shoot back. I thought the entire audience was going to fall out of their seats laughing. I enjoyed myself so much, I just may download the soundtrack album onto my iPod for $11.99 off iTunes.

Anyway, after the show, we went to MGM Grand Casino downtown (the play was at the Fisher Theater) and had dinner. We had dinner at a restaurant called Bourbon Steak, which was fantastic, but about twice as expensive as I thought it would be. And that's my fault--I obviously didn't scrutinize the prices very closely before I made the reservation. Stupid me! Oh well, we were helping the economy (that's what Brian and I tell each other lately--as in, "can't have a baby, help the economy!"). I did apologize to Danielle several times. I felt so bad. I would recommend it for dinner, but for two people, you will easily drop $150 if not more (and that's if you don't buy the Kobe beef--$150 for ONE STEAK.) Only for special occasions! We also gambled a bit, and Brian had no mojo at all. Luck HAS NOT been his lady lately, unfortunately.

Lots of good posts will be upcoming, because we have SO many things going on in the next few months, it's ridiculous. So keep reading!

I am a Mutant--But I'm not Cool like Wolverine

2009-01-31T21:00:00.000-05:00

You probably think the title of this blog is some kind of clever joke--but it's not. I'll explain in a moment.

Brian and I had our first visit to the Reproductive Endocrinologist (aka special baby making doctor) on Friday morning. It was all the way in Troy, so we had quite a hike from here. We are going all the way to Troy because that is the only clinic on this side of the state that our insurance will cover. And since we are VERY fortunate to have coverage for this at all, obviously most people don't, we felt we couldn't discount that coverage merely to go someplace closer to home. The reason that our insurance will only cover this place is because it is considered the best of the best when it comes to this stuff. So that's good! If I have to go someplace, it's nice going to the best.

So, we get there, and all the paperwork is done, insurance card was scanned in, etc. The front office ladies seemed very impressed with our coverage. On a side note--obviously many of you have never looked at prices for IVF, etc (I'm very glad you haven't had to). Did you know that a first round of IVF costs $10,000? And subsequent rounds, if you already have embryos stored, still cost $4,000? We will not be needing IVF (and we wouldn't do it anyway--that is where we draw a personal line), but if we did, wow. I now fully understand why many people have to mortgage their homes to have children. (Although, I wish they would just take that money and adopt and help a kid that's already here. That is our personal feeling on it.)

Anyway, we meet with our doctor, Dr. Miller. He's probably in his early to mid 40's, pretty normal looking white guy with a female resident with him who was sitting in on our consult. So, we start going over my medical history and the history of all the losses. The first thing that I notice about this doctor is that he's REALLY intense. Like, he would NOT break eye contact with me. It was so much, I had to look away at times, you know what I mean? But at least I felt I had his whole attention, which is nice. Brian agreed. We went over all those tests Dr. Thai ran on me over the summer, and he told me that she was really quite thorough in her testing. And this is where the mutant part comes in. Well, Dr. Thai never discussed this with me (she just told me everything was fine and I didn't see it in the records until a few days ago--long story), but it turns out I do have a gene mutation called MTHFR.

MTHFR is the name of a blood enzyme that is screwed up when you have this particular mutation. I have 1 bad copy each of 2 different genes affecting this. Now, you can have 2 bad copies of these 2 different genes--that's really bad. My scenario is borderline. Dr. Miller said that Dr. Thai probably didn't say anything because its not proven to be a cause of anything. If I had the two bad copies of those genes, that's a different story. Anyway, this can cause blood clotting, and what it definitely causes is bad uptake of Folic Acid. So, she had put me on baby aspirin and progesterone, which he seemed to feel were perfectly appropriate. He is also going to put me on mega high doses of Folic Acid, which may help the situation and would definitely protect my baby from neural tube defects if we do have a viable pregnancy. When I say mega high, I mean 4 times the normal amount a pregnant women should take, so I'm going to be swallowing a ton of pills. I am fine with that given the alternative! If I had those 2 bad copies of the gene and had the definite issue, I would need to give myself shots of blood thinner every day when I'm pregnant. I wasn't looking forward to that, but I'll do what I have to do, obviously. But, he stated its not indicated with me (although I know from my research some RE's will prescribe it anyway), and actually, a ton of people have this gene mutation and never have a problem. (So you may be mutants too and not even realize it!)

Anyway, he seemed pretty optimistic about the situation. He stated that he feels my prognosis is good to have a baby. He is going to do some more testing on me. On Cycle Day 3 next time, I have to go in for blood testing and a basic ultrasound to check out my ovaries. (See how the follicles look, etc.) The blood testing will check my LH, FSH, prolactin, estrogen and progesterone at that point in my cycle. Those are all hormones that affect ovulation and pregnancy, and they will tell a lot. He even said depending on how those levels come back, the possibility exists that I could be put on Clomid. I'm not EXACTLY clear why I would need that when I have no trouble conceiving, but it has something to do with inducing a stronger, better ovulation, and helping the hormonal and chemical conditions be ideal in the womb BEFORE you ovulate, rather than just treating it after. And then, a few days after that, I need to get another ultrasound, but with this one, they're going to shoot saline water up my hoo-ha and check out the structure of my uterus itself. There could be some uterine malformation going on that could be causing this and inhibiting growth. Some that are fixable and some are not. I've been told this is "uncomfortable," which may mean "horribly painful," so, we'll see. We hope to have this testing done before we go to Florida the first week of March (a post on that is upcoming). So I'm really hoping my cycle is regular so that can happen.

Before I go, I wanted to thank everyone for the support and well wishes. We really do appreciate how kind everyone has been through this mess. I will keep you somewhat up to date, although I hope you all do understand that if we do try again and get pregnant, we keep that to ourselves until we're ready to tell, for obvious reasons. Bye!

Robbery!! (Don't Worry--Not our House)

2009-01-26T20:45:00.000-05:00

As I said in the title, yes, there was a robbery, but don't worry, it wasn't at our house, or anything directly belonging to us really. As many of you know, my mom owns a gas station/convenience store up in the thumb, in Otter Lake, which is sort of near Davidson. So, I was talking to my mom last night after Brian left, and she casually says, "Yeah, we got a phone call from Randy (one of her workers) this morning at 7 am." Then, she stops. So, I have to prompt her and say, "Oh yeah, about what?" To which she replied, "Oh, the station was robbed last night." Lovely.

Her worker Randy got to work on Sunday morning to find the side door of the station completely broken out. It's a full glass panel door with a handle all the way across on the inside, as many of you are probably familiar with. Some of my readers are intimately familiar with it, given that you've worked for my Mom! Anyway, come to find out they weren't the only target; the same person tried to break into the other little store in town without success, due to window positioning and crazy homemade locking systems, made by Ed, who owns the Superette in question. Anyway, my mom has cameras in the store, and whoever did this must be local, because he knew exactly where they were, and kept his face hidden the whole time, and dodged through the aisles at exactly the right places. The police think they know who this person is, because earlier that night at the Superette, he had tried to steal beer, and they kicked him out. So, the theory is, he then came back to the Superette and tried to break in, failed, and then came to my mom's place. This is the funny part--the only thing he took was 2 30 packs of Bud Light. She would have been out more money if he'd taken 2 cartons of cigarettes. Also, he broke that window, went to the cooler (leaving the big back door open, which my mom was pretty peeved about), took 60 beers, and left in 31 seconds flat. My mom reviewed her tapes, and told me that. It killed me--so fast, 31 seconds, shows a total disregard for conscience. Wow. Also, despite the door being completely busted, the only other creature that came in the station all night was the black cat that lives around the area and feeds in the dumpster. Apparently, the poor little scrawny thing came in out of the cold several times. As my mom put it, "Well, I'm out an insurance claim, and 30 bucks in beer. If you're going to get robbed, I guess this is the way you want it to go."

And I was just thinking about this--my parents have owned the station for 13 and a half years, and this is only the second time they've been robbed. That's not too bad, actually, particularly considering the area it's in (poor and rural--I would almost expect robberies from people looking for drug money or something). I mean, don't get me wrong, other things have happened--one of their clerks was assaulted, they've had numerous gas drive offs obviously, and even a naked gas pumper of all things. Also, my mom fell outside on the ice one year and broke her leg (as she put it--at least it was her that was hurt and not a customer), and one particularly hot summer when the air was broken, a completely disgusting redneck guy asked my frequent reader A if he could lick the sweat off her. But, all in all, its been a fairly uneventful place to be. So, if you're ever in Otter Lake, Michigan, stop at the Marathon station, ask for Marie, and tell her you know me.

Movie Reviews

2009-01-18T21:00:00.002-05:00

So, I thought I'd spend a few minutes sharing my opinion about a few movies I've seen recently. You may have been thinking of seeing these movies, so I wanted to give my fair and unbiased take on these flicks. Don't worry, I'll not give away the ending of either movie!

Gran Torino
Brian and I went to the movies on Friday night to finally see Clint Eastwood's Gran Torino. Good ol' Clint is both director and star of this movie, the same as he was in the absolutely brilliant Million Dollar Baby (which could make me cry again right now just thinking about it). Mr. Eastwood has stated that this may be his last movie as an actor, and that he will focus on directing only, as he is in his late 70's, after all. Well Clint, if this is your last movie ever on screen, or even as a director, you have a tremendous amount to be proud of. Gran Torino was pretty much a masterpiece, I think particularly to those of us who live in the Detroit Metro area and understand the history and dynamics of how the area has changed in the last 50 years. It is the story of Frank Kowalski, a Korean War vet whose wife has just passed away and is now all alone in his home in Hazel Park. He's distant from his sons, and hates the fact that his neighborhood, that used to be all white, is now predominately filled with Hmong immigrants. Hmong people are an Asian culture who immigrated here after the Vietnam War (this is explained in more detail in the movie). He hates these people and calls them every racial name in the book. You really want to hate Frank, but you don't. Then, he unwillingly gets to know the two Hmong teenagers next door, Sue and Thao, and begins to change. Obviously, Frank's beautiful 1972 Ford Gran Torino factors predominantly in the story. As I said, I will not give away too much of the plot or the ending, but all I have to say is WOW. Go see this movie immediately.

The Love Guru
As for the other movie I'm going to review--I have a message for Mike Myers: Unless you get your funny back, QUIT MAKING MOVIES. Brian and I watched The Love Guru last night, and it was a complete and utter waste of about an hour and a half of my life. About 10 minutes into it, Brian and I looked to each other, and went "Do you think this is funny?" Neither of us really did, but we wanted to give it a chance. I have liked Mike Myers so much in the past (I still headbang every time I hear Bohemian Rhapsody), I didn't want to think he could put out such a piece of crap, but alas, it is possible. The Love Guru is about Guru Pitka, a white guy who was raised in India who wants to become the next Deepak Chopra. He's hired by the owner of the Toronto Maple Leaves (played by Jessica Alba--yeah right) to fix the love life of her star player so they can win the Stanley Cup. In this movie, Myers tells all the same jokes as he ever has, and now they are VERY OLD. This stuff hasn't been funny since Austin Powers (the first one, not the two substandard ones that followed). Plus, the weird fakey Indian voice he talks in through the movie was weird and off putting. The ONLY slightly funny part of this movie was seeing Justin Timberlake play a rival goalie, a French Canadian guy named Jacque "le Coq" Grande, who worships Celine Dion and has an enormous schlong. When the movie was done, I was pissed I wasted my Netflix subscription on it. DO NOT see it.

Bye until next time!

Baby Trial Run

2009-01-13T20:40:00.001-05:00

So, Brian's brother Ryan and his girlfriend Jen had a daycare emergency this week (their daycare lady had to have emergency surgery Monday) and they needed somebody to watch baby Kelsey this week. My mother in law Dena is watching her tomorrow and Thursday, but they were stuck yesterday and today. Brian and I were both home and not busy, and our house is actually not that far out of the way for Ryan to go to work. So, we were nannies to a 10 month old for the last couple days.

The days started early, at 6:30. Of course, she refused to go back to sleep after Ryan dropped her off and left, so I was up and about early. Both days we had to go upstairs to get Brian out of bed an hour later. She liked crawling in the bed with him and trying to get the cat. (He was actually relatively good with her--no hissing and he actually touched her finger with his nose once, and then ran away. For him, that's fantastic. Ask Holly.) Then came morning bottles and cereal. Lunch time and afternoon bottles also went well. She's a pretty good eater, so mealtimes went pretty well. The hardest part of the whole deal was nap times. She did not sleep very well at all--the first day, she slept an hour in the morning (good), 30 minutes after lunch (terrible) and then 20 minutes later in the afternoon that she shouldn't have needed had she slept better earlier. Today, she slept 25 minutes in the morning (terrible), an hour tops after lunch (15 minutes of that was me trying to get her BACK to sleep when she woke up after half an hour) and then 15 minutes on the floor of Brian's office after her late bottle, which, again, she shouldn't even have needed. In my mind, not enough for a baby her age, but I did the best I could. Also, Kelsey is teething, so today especially she was crabby. If one of us wasn't holding her, she was screaming, especially this afternoon. I did oragel this morning, and when it wore off, boy could we tell. Overall, a fine couple of days, but I have to admit, I'm looking forward to sleeping a bit later tomorrow and not having a 20 pound creature clinging to me constantly. Brian said to me, "What will we do when we have our own kids?" My reply was, "It's different when they're you're own, plus, we'll have some time to adjust."

Brian was a ton of help. Yesterday, I got my exercise while she was sleeping, and he watched her while I showered. Then, he watched her while I got groceries for an hour. Today, he watched her for an hour and a half while I went to yoga, and held her at various times so I could do stuff. He changed his first diaper ever today while I was gone, and it was even a poopy one. Good job honey! I knew you could do it! It's funny, though. I can already tell that when we do have kids, there will clearly be a good cop, bad cop vibe in our house, and I will be the bad cop. Our kids will hate me and love dad. Oh well.

Back to work tomorrow finally!!

Dreary January Days

2009-01-05T22:00:00.000-05:00

2009 is upon us. I'm sort of glad Christmas is over. We ended up having a fine time at Brian's parents and my parents and grandparents, but neither of us was truly in the Christmas spirit this year. Brian took the tree down in a flash on New Year's Day, which is really unlike him. He wants me to take the Christmas cards down from the window I display them in, but I said they can stay up for awhile. I like looking at them; they're really cheerful and happy. We spent New Year's Eve at Jeff & Candace's, which was a very nice low key evening with them and another couple we know, Chris and Katie. Brian drank beer, and I drank sparkling apple juice, and we were home by 1:30. However, we came home to find cat vomit all over our bedroom floor that had to be cleaned up before we went to bed. Oh, the joys of pet ownership. Now, I really HAVE to have the carpets cleaned.

I'm not back at work yet, but I am starting up again next week, which is great. I work three days next week, and in those three days, I have to drive to Muskegon, Saginaw, and Lansing. If the weather is fine, I'm good with that; it's a nice mileage check in my pocket. If the weather is bad, I will be one huge ball of stress. But, I'll deal with that when the time comes. Here is what's been occupying my time the last week or so:

1) my brother Grant is having this huge situation at school in which he is failing chemistry and may not be able to run track in the spring, which is his favorite thing. And it seems mostly due to the fact he has a woman for a teacher who seems to be a complete moron. My mother told me the whole story when we were up there with them, and I was very upset. One of my old teachers is now the principal of the high school, and my mom said that when she went to the principal for help, she got no response. So, I sent this old teacher of mine (who freaking thought I walked on water, because all the teachers thought I walked on water) a slightly bitter email (that I stand behind, I don't regret the tone at all) saying I thought she cared more for her students, and that this Chem teacher shouldn't be teaching. I finally got a response back today that didn't really say much other than they are working on the problem and are offering tutoring. I passed that info onto my mom, and told Grant he better get his ass to some tutoring, or else I'm going to look like a complete a-hole. And if the kid makes an a-hole out of me, he WILL face my wrath.

2) My Grandma (my mom's Mom) had to have a biopsy on her left boob today as her annual mammogram found an abnormality. So, we have all been a bit nervous about that, especially my Grandma herself, obviously. My Grandpa is in such a precarious state, I don't know what we'd do if something was wrong with Grandma too, and she was in need of serious treatment. Well, the surgeon who did the biopsy today removed three small masses and sent them off to the lab. He told her that while he's not a pathologist, he's been doing biopsies a long time and he strongly feels that from the look of these things, they are most likely harmless calcium deposits. So, Grandma will wait for pathology results, but we all feel much better.

3) Finally, today Candace had to take baby Oliver for a couple shots at his doctor's office, and I said I'd go with her for moral support. She needed it more than he did! He cried for about a minute after getting poked, then when she gave him a bottle, he was fine and dandy. He slept in the car on the way back to their house, and was happy as a clam in the swing afterwards when we were visiting. Way to take it like a man, Ollie!

Where the Hell is Global Warming Now??

2008-12-24T10:10:00.000-05:00

I don't have much to write today, being that its Christmas Eve and we'll be heading out soon. I have a ton of stuff I have to do before we make our way, so I just wanted to do a quick check in with my small band of loyal readers. This is pretty much what I have to say:

HOLY SHIT IT'S COLD OUTSIDE! (And as a side note, when will all this snow from hell end? [As a side side note, can snow come from hell?? Isn't that completely counter-intuitive?]). We have about 15 or more inches on the ground right now, and Brian, poor, Brian (who is sick with a cold) is out blowing snow for literally the 10th or so time since last Friday. He's blowing snow almost as much as he's blowing his nose. The company who comes to plow our subdivision blocks the end of our driveway every single time, so we keep having to go back out and dig it out. ARRGGH! But, I almost have some sympathy for the guy at this point, because the snow mounds are so high, there's almost no place to put the crap anymore. Make it stop!

And the cold, oh the cold. As I said above, HOLY SHIT IT'S COLD OUTSIDE! As I said to loyal reader A the other day, I am currently refusing to go outside for fear that I will immediately freeze so cold that scientists will find my body hundreds of years from now, unthaw me, and tell me that civilization as I know it is over. If that happened, my greatest fear would be that the world I would wake up in would be like the movie "Idiocracy." (If you haven't seen it, go ahead, with the warning that its not that great of a movie, but it completely illustrates my fears of what the world is coming to as far as the dumbing down of our society.) Although, if the world doesn't turn into the movie "Idiocracy," maybe the medical community several hundred years from now could tell me what the hell is wrong with my uterus, which would be a bonus.

Anyway, I won't be writing for several days at least. We're heading up to Brian's parents today, staying until tomorrow and coming home tomorrow evening. We'll be home for less than a day probably, and then heading up to my parents' to have Christmas with my family on Saturday, and Brian is going to hunt at my Mom's this weekend. He is very excited.

Have a great Christmas everyone! Be grateful for everything you have! I'm trying to have that as my motto lately, and it helps put things into perspective. :)

My Weekend in Sauga-my-tuck and Other Developments

2008-12-15T17:00:00.001-05:00

So, after having the D&C on Thursday, I really needed to get out of town for a few days. My friends KLo and KMu in South Bend had called me earlier in the week, asking me if I wanted to go to Sauga-my-tuck (as its called by KLo) for a spa weekend this past weekend. Dr. Thai (my OB) said it was fine to go, as long as I didn't overdo it, and actually said it would be good to get out and relax. So, Friday afternoon, I took off and headed over to Saugatuck to meet KLo and Steph (the 4th member of the party). KMu had a bar association dinner to attend and couldn't join us until later that night (boo--cause it's not a party until KMu arrives).

The three of us headed off to Phil's, which is a local hangout. Dinner was very tasty, we had these really good portabella mushroom fries for an appetizer, and my lake perch was outstanding. After dinner, we shopped in a few stores, and went back to our rooms. The girls had made arrangements to stay at the spa for the weekend. It's called Bella Vita Spa & Suites. It's a full service spa with 4 guest rooms that are really cool. KMu arrived at 11:30 on Friday and we were up till all hours talking about all sorts of things, everything in the world really, except for babies, thank god. (KLo and Steph are single, and KMu is married, but has no babies on the near horizon).

Saturday morning we got up and had brunch at Pumpernickel's, another local eatery that serves all their breakfasts in cast iron skillets, which was interesting. We then went back to the spa to start our treatments. I got a Signature Facial, 50 minute massage, and a Chocolate Decadence Pedicure (yes, you read that correctly). I now have pretty cranberry colored toes, and the memory of having warm, delicious chocolaty stuff being smeared all over my feet. The next time we go (and there WILL be a next time), I plan on getting the chocolate body wrap, so that I can experience having my ENTIRE BODY smeared in warm, delicious chocolaty stuff.

Saturday evening we went to Everyday People cafe in Douglas for dinner. Dinner was tasty, but I have to say the dessert caught my attention. KLo ordered Creme Brulee Pastries, and Steph ordered the Homemade S'More (graham cracker crust, chocolate ganache, peanut butter ganache, and a homemade marshmallow, all layered together, with the marshmallow toasted at your table by the server). KMu and I sampled off both, and HOLY CRAP, they may have just been the best dessert I've ever tasted. Then, we came back to the Suites and watched "It's a Wonderful Life" on TV (which KLo and Steph had never seen, and KMu and I kept having to reassure KLo that it really was a Wonderful Life at the end). Sunday morning we got up, had brunch again, shopped a little bit, and took off back home. A good time was had by all, and I can't wait to go back.

In other developments, just so everyone knows, the D&C did go well on Thursday and I feel fine. I have to say I would highly recommend Providence Park. The operation was efficient, and the staff was so nice. When I was in pre-op, the nurses saw me crying my eyes out and immediately came over and asked me what was the matter, and when I explained, they hugged me and said they'd much rather have me there on a different floor (ie, maternity). The surgery went fine, and the chaplain came over after and talked to us about the losses, etc, and he was very nice. It was interesting--in my post-op information, there were two form letters I could sign and send out asking marketing companies to not send baby related things to our house, as we've experienced a recent loss. Needless to say, I put those in the mail today, as I cannot handle having that crap come to the house right now.

Also, this afternoon, I had to go for my weekly blood draw at the doctor's office (they have to make sure my hcg levels come down to zero). While I was waiting for my lab sheet, the receptionist asks me if I'm in a hurry, because Dr. Thai wants to squeeze me in for an appointment. I said that was fine, but I was a little freaked out, because that just doesn't happen very often. But, it was fine, Dr. Thai just wanted to talk to me for a few minutes and give me a complete report of all the tests I've had run for when I go to a specialist. She also had the pathology report back already from the lab from Thursday, and without going into long, boring detail, it was interesting, and she told me she is very interested to get the genetic report (could take up to 6 weeks). From the way she said that, I think she believes it will show genetic abnormality. I can accept that, and actually, I think it would give me a little comfort.

Thank you for reading and caring, everyone. I am finally in the Christmas spirit, so Merry Christmas!

Recurrent Miscarriage

2008-12-03T14:15:00.001-05:00

I haven't posted in a while, and by the title of this blog, I'm sure you can all guess why. Yes, it is true, I am having yet another miscarriage. This makes 3 in a row, and Brian and I are now officially classified as suffering from "recurrent miscarriage." This is something that 1% or less of couples ever suffer from, and is defined as having 3 miscarriages in a row.

We found out for sure last Wednesday (day before Thanksgiving) that this pregnancy wasn't viable. Improper growth, and loss of fetal heart tones that had been detected 2 weeks earlier. Apparently, progesterone and baby aspirin didn't help me as they seem to help others. We ended up staying home from Thanksgiving, as I didn't know what was going to happen when, and I also, quite honestly, would have a hard time being around certain family members who can't seem to STOP having children when they should, when Brian and I can't seem to have one to save our lives.

So, we are currently in a waiting game. I've not yet actually "lost" the pregnancy, and honestly, I just wish I would. I just want this nightmare over with, I'm not at work right now (although I found out there are no deps this month anyway, so I wouldn't be working in any case). My OB has said she'd give me two weeks (its been 1 week today), and then I have to have a D&C, which I am terrified of. As much as it hurts physically to lose the pregnancy naturally, emotionally, I do not relish the thought of having an invasive medical procedure that would feel way too much like having an abortion.

My OB also wants me to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist, but also admitted to me that she doesn't know what they'll do for me, because all the tests they can do (as far as she knows) have already been run. And from what I can tell from my research, she's correct. But I guess I'm willing to go and see what a specialist has to say. But if they tell me that all they can do is monitor me every week if I decide to try again, I don't know what I'll do about that. I do not know how many times I can put myself through this. Honestly, with this one, I'm not really even crying, I feel cried out. Also, emotionally right now I am more pissed off and frustrated than anything else. And that's the thing--going through all this is making me not even excited to try again, not even excited anymore to "have" a baby. And I don't want to feel that way. I think I may be ready to get off the roller coaster, at least for awhile, depending on what a specialist says. I think Brian is somewhat disappointed to hear that from me, but he has to know that no matter how hard this is on him, its 100 times harder on me.

So, I just wanted to get this piece of information out there, so people know what's going on with us and why we may be acting weird for awhile yet. And why we may need some time. Although right now we are taking it day by day, depending on how I feel.

Thanks for reading, everybody.

Our Country's Financial Woes

2008-11-19T21:00:00.000-05:00

Even though the election is over, there is so much going on right now with this country from a financial standpoint. I had to comment on the latest development--this Big 3 Bailout.

Okay, first of all, what GM, Ford, and Chrysler are asking for is not a "bailout." They are asking for a loan from the federal government. A loan implies repayment, unlike the financial system bailout. There are actual terms of repayment being discussed and the auto companies are very open to speaking about.

Next, I have to get this off my chest. On principle, I am totally against this sort of government assistance for any business. In general, I think if businesses are badly run, they should fail. And I'll be the first to say, the Big 3 have been some of the worst run businesses in this country for a very long time. And they have themselves to blame for that--for a long time, they put out crappy product that didn't appeal to buyers, yet still had the arrogance to think that they deserved to continue to have total market domination. Sorry, that's not how it works. Also, the UAW bears a HUGE portion of the blame for this. For many years as well, they've refused to give wage and benefits concessions, even as market conditions demanded it. They've continued to think that people who put bolts in holes all day deserve to make $30 an hour. Well, I'm sorry, I have a law degree, and I don't make $30 an hour. The auto industry created a false standard of living for a great many people in this country who have no education (i.e. line workers) for a long time. Now, the shit is hitting the fan. And I say this as the step-daughter, granddaughter, and daughter-in-law of UAW member GM workers. But something has to give.

Okay, in light of what I just said, it pains me to say that the government MUST give these bridge loans to the Big 3. Some are advocating that they go into bankruptcy. That would be an absolute disaster. Who the hell would buy a vehicle from a company in bankruptcy? I predict that if the Big 3 went into bankruptcy, any one of them, their sales would fall to at least half of what it is now, which are already in the toilet due to the economy.

Many Republican Senators are refusing to give the Big 3 the money. What they don't understand are the steps the Big 3 have actually taken recently to return to profitability. I know from speaking with my step father and others all the changes that have made in these plants. These new plants are efficient. What 3,000 people used to do, 300 now do. And I have personal experience with the fact that GM (I can't personally speak to Ford or Chrysler) is putting out some damn good product now. I LOVE my Saturn Aura. It's a fantastic car. Also, the Chevy Malibu is THE BEST mid-size sedan right now, beating all that Japanese crap that people think is so great.

Another thing these Senators, and people in other parts of the country, don't understand is that if the Big 3 go away, 3 MILLION jobs would be immediately lost, many right here in Michigan. Our unemployment rate is already 9.3%, 3 points higher than national average. If those 3 million jobs are lost, that unemployment rate could be double that. Those are depression level numbers. Also, 1 in 10 jobs in the entire nation are linked to the auto industry. Bye bye millions more jobs. Plus all the small businesses that would die in the area of these plants because the auto workers are gone, and all the tax revenue gone from cities that have plants in them. Holy crap, the idea is frightening.

As I said, saying these things go against my strongly held beliefs that the government should stay the hell out of these matters. But I do not want literally two-thirds of the people I know to lose their jobs, and I want my family members pensions to be secure. So these bridge loans MUST happen for the good of the Mid-West and the country as a whole.

Not Looking Forward to Winter

2008-11-12T20:30:00.001-05:00

So, Monday morning was an absolute traffic debacle. And no one saw it coming. This leaves me absolutely dreading the winter driving months.

I had to work on Monday morning, so I got up at my usual time of 7 and I leave the house at 8:45 to get to my 10 o'clock dep in plenty of time (I like to have plenty of time in the morning, plus feel guilty about sleeping much later than that during the week). I get up, look out the window, and say, "Oh crap." There was about an inch or two of snow on the ground. This did not bode well. Brian hears me (having for once gotten up and going before me, as he was getting ready to be a big bad hunter) and says, "Oh the roads are fine." The subdivision roads looked okay, so I was hoping he was right. I turn on the news and immediately am hit with the news that the road crews were NOT out with salt, because the snow fall was unexpected, so the roads were NOT fine, in fact, they were absolutely terrible. The Channel 4 traffic girl tells me to leave 2 to 3 times my normal travel time to make it to my destination. So, I eat breakfast as fast as I can, barely shower and leave at 8 am.

As I'm driving down Hacker Road, things seems fine, so, I again am hoping the weather people are totally overreacting. I get on the highway and within 2 miles am at a dead stop. Not because the roads are bad, mind you. The road conditions were FINE. I turned on my XM Detroit traffic and listen to the reports. Apparently, the problem was that the bridges, overpasses and highway ramps were totally frozen, causing all sorts of accidents and closures and back ups. So, I proceed to drive all the way to Southfield at an average speed of about 25 miles an hour. It totally sucked, but at least I didn't feel like my life was in danger. It was just sloooooow. I finally made it to my destination after an hour and 40 minutes. That is an hour longer than usual.

That nightmare has made me very fearful of this winter driving season, especially in light of the fact that the road crews are cutting way back this year on manpower and salt usage for budgetary reasons. It was all over the news tonight. So, this winter, I will be prepared to make my hour and 40 minute trek to Southfield on a regular basis. Thanks Old Man Winter.

Socialism...Beginning in January

2008-11-05T10:30:00.001-05:00

So, I need not post very long, but suffice it to say that I am extremely disappointed, but not surprised, over last night's election. Basically, my feelings are that President Obama will take this country in the WRONG direction--higher taxes, more government dependence, and sitting down and appeasing terrorists and crazies. Here is a short rundown of my basic fears.

1) Obama wants to sit down with the president of Iran and talk with him. That crazy bastard wants to blow us up. He is so nuts, he denies the Holocaust and thinks we are Zionist sympathizers. Sitting down with him is like the Allies appeasing Hitler before World War II. That turned out well.

2) Raising taxes. People think, oh a social safety net is great--it's like Europe, nobody is poor. Well, I've been to Europe, and it's a great place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. EVERYONE is mildly poor, because everyone pays 50% taxes to subsidize people who choose jobs that make next to nothing. There is no spirit that if you work hard you can get ahead, so people don't bother. Well, no thanks. Brian and I worked hard to get where we are, had $80,000 of student loans between the two of us. We chose to do that. To hell with everybody else who didn't make that choice, and then whines about it. I am ready to start stuffing our mattresses with money to keep it out of the government's hands.

3) Obama wants to make it nearly impossible for law abiding people to buy a weapon, and wants to put a 500% tax on ammunition. Goodbye 2nd Amendment. What those crazy anti-gun people don't realize that if you outlaw guns, the only people who will have guns are outlaws. Screw that. Brian is going to stockpile some weapons, and ammo. Watch out coming to our house.

So, there is the short version of my thoughts. I am scared. Very scared that my way of life is going to get flushed down the toilet.

Fall is Here

2008-10-28T17:00:00.001-04:00

I haven't had a chance to blog in 2 weeks, I've been so busy. We went out of town twice (to Notre Dame for a football game, and then to Mt. Pleasant for a football game), I've been working like mad, and so has Brian, and on days we were actually home, we've had many parties and gatherings to attend. The past month or so has been busier than this summer, which is unusual. All of a sudden, it's nearly Halloween, and I find I've done no decorating or anything. At least I managed to get some candy for Friday.

Suddenly, overnight, it's become fall. I was on the couch a few days ago, and looked out to picture window behind me, and suddenly realized that enough leaves had fallen that I could see the house behind us (which is normally camouflaged by woods and leaves). There is some color left, but not much. Brian put away the patio set for the year, and the birds are leaving in droves. Pretty soon, there will be enough bare woods behind us that Brian will be able to see his deer friends any time he wants (every time he is gone now, one of his first questions to me is, "Did you see our friends today?"). Also, now its bow season, and probably half the things out of his mouth involve hunting or wanting to go hunting.

Seriously, the man is obsessed. He reminds me of that "Friends" episode where Monica walked in on Chandler watching porn and he quickly turned the channel to Shark Week, but she could tell what he had been doing, so she thought he was turned on by sharks. But for Brian, it's deer porn. He will lay in bed for hours on Saturday and Sunday and watch the Man Channel (Maximum Adventure--its on our DirecTV). They play nothing but shows that show people going after the big bucks or various other critters. He actually sent me a picture today via email of a big buck from Iowa, a 28 pointer, which admittedly is huge, but, honestly, like I care. Hunting makes him happy, so its all good with me, but seriously, I do not want to know how to gut a deer. I understand it must be done, and I appreciate that, but quit telling me how long it takes, what to do with certain body parts, etc. Enough already!

So, that's been my fall so far. Missing the leaves change and hearing about nothing but bows, guns, and guts. And now to me, it feels so cold. Brian is currently in Bismarck, North Dakota, and could not be any happier that it was 11 degrees there this morning. And I was complaining about 30. Yikes. I hope that is not on the way here any time soon.

Things That Make Me Happy

2008-10-14T21:00:00.001-04:00

In light of the fact that I've been frustrated lately with things that are out of my control (i.e. family stuff, elections, the stupidity of other people), I've decided to focus on the positive. Brian and I have a really great life in many ways, so here is a list of things that make me happy.

1) Miss A, frequent reader extraordinaire, having her baby late Saturday afternoon. The Hunt family welcomed Olivia May at 5:30 Saturday afternoon. She was 8 pounds 13 oz, 22 inches long, and, from what I hear, is doing great. I spoke to A Saturday night and she sounded great (for having just had an almost 9 pound baby come out of her body). I can't wait to meet her, and she is very lucky, having been born to wonderful people who will be fantastic parents.

2) Nice massages. I had one yesterday and the lady beat the hell out of me. I am sore today, but in a good way. She worked on my neck, shoulders, and upper back a lot, as that is where I carry my stress and worries (see above statement about being frustrated). I have decided to have a massage every couple months to help deal with stress. More evidence is mounting that regular massages promote health and well being. I'm all for that.

3) My cat. I know that may sound silly to those of you who aren't pet people, or cat people, but Jack (Jackylls, as Brian and I have dubbed him) is such a sweet boy (except when he's biting Brian's ankles). Sunday morning when I was managing to sleep in a bit, he clearly wanted me to get up. He climbed all over me and stuck his cold, wet nose all over my face and nudged me like, "Get up, get up! You're supposed to be up!" I love it when he does that, and he breathes on me and almost purrs and is so happy. He's a good boy.

4) Going to Central/Western weekend up in Mount Pleasant this weekend. My aunt and uncle invited Brian and I awhile back. They are Central alums, I am a Western Alum, and Brian is along for the ride. Also, we're seeing Ron White at Soaring Eagle casino Friday, so Brian and I can finally make up for that awful night in February where we went to East Lansing to see Ron White and realized we went on the wrong day. The show had been the night before and we wasted 90 bucks. So Friday we will be vindicated! He better be funny and the game better be good. It would purely be a bonus if we won money at the casino!

Soooo Busy Lately

2008-10-09T09:45:00.003-04:00

So, I've not had a chance to blog in depth lately, and I still don't but thought I'd say I haven't dropped off the face of the planet. I have been so busy with work, my part time has moved to full time and then some. Which is nice, because I like money (I get paid by the hour), but I've barely had a chance to sleep, breathe, or exercise in a week and half. I'm just doing deposition after deposition, and working on writing projects too! I'm pretty tired. I'm hoping that this weekend, when Brian is gone hunting, I can just relax on my own, watch a movie, and hopefully go see J&C and little baby O. I haven't seen them since we visited in the hospital and I desperately want to!

The other cool thing that happened was that last weekend we went to a football game in Notre Dame. It was tremendous fun. We went down late on Friday, and made it to my friend K-Lo's (great law school buddy, was in our wedding) at about 10 pm. Got up the next morning and went to the game with K-Lo's great friends KMu and PMu, whom I met last summer working in South Bend. They are awesome. We had a great time, and the 5 of us went out to dinner Saturday, and Brian, K-Lo and PMu ate more sushi than I could imagine 3 people eating. KMu and I skipped that, neither of us cares to eat raw fish. We ate at K-Lo's favorite place, which is this Korean hole in the wall that also does sushi. By the time we left, we all smelled of fish and Kimchee (Korean sauerkraut). But the food was good. On Sunday, we all had breakfast at K-Lo's and laughs were had by all. Then we came home and I worked more. Busy!

So that's why I haven't posted in over a week! Now, I'm waiting for next weekend, which is the Central Western game up in Mt. Pleasant with my aunt and uncle and also we are still waiting for my friend and reader A to have her baby! Come on baby H! It's time to come out!

Babies Babies Everywhere!

2008-09-30T08:20:00.000-04:00

So, we are in the middle of a baby boom! Several of our friends are pregnant or are having babies shortly. And one has already arrived!

Our very good friends Jeff and Candace had baby Oliver very early on Thursday morning. He was 9 lbs 9 oz and was 22 inches long (yes, you read that correctly). Brian and I went to visit the hospital Friday and everyone was doing well (well, Candace was doing about as well as she could be doing, considering she gave birth the normal way to a baby that large!). Jeff and Candace are both clearly in love with their baby boy. Oliver is the first boy born on Candace's side of the family in 45 years, so the Larson side of the family is extra thrilled!

Next, my friend and frequent reader April is due to pop in a week with her baby girl. She and her hubby are keeping the name secret, but on her own blog she has given clues as to the name. I vote for Samantha or Wendy, but the name that seems to have the most votes is Olivia, which is a beautiful name and sounds great with their last name, Hunt (and if that is the name, I have to admit I'm relieved because it's not one Brian and I had picked for our future kids!). The person who wins the name game gets one of the first phone calls when the baby comes. I'd love a phone call Miss A!

Finally, my good friend Ruth who lives in San Jose has told me that she is pregnant with her second baby. She is due in March and she and her hubby have wanted to get pregnant again for awhile, so I'm so happy for Ruth and Jon! Their little boy Nathan will be 4 in January and I'm sure he'll be a great big brother!

Congrats to all!

I Didn't Know I Was Watching Porn!

2008-09-21T10:15:00.000-04:00

Okay, so this blog post actually has very little to do with porn, but I thought it would be a catchy title. What this post is about is the fact that Brian and I have someone got sucked into a bunch of new TV shows, despite the fact that every year we promise not to. But this year, there are some really good shows on!

One show we've been watching is on Tuesdays on Fox and it's called "Fringe." It's about a female FBI agent who's called upon to investigate strange phenomena. (Sounds familiar right?) Well, her partners in crime are this old scientist guy who's own work from the 70's and 80's might be the cause of all this. He's been in a mental institution for 17 years, and she needs his help. The only way to get him out of the loony bin is for his estranged genius son to check him out and be his guardian. And the estranged genius son is played by none other than Pacey, Joshua Jackson! It's been on twice so far, and it's pretty good. It's produced by JJ Abrahms, who does "LOST" (which comes back in early 2009, BTW). So, it should be good. Everything he does generally is good and successful. (Hopefully, including the new Star Trek movie coming out in May 2009!) I hope it lasts, as I feel like it can fill my sci-fi void.

Okay, so the other new show we've been watching is where the porno comes in. It's called "True Blood" and it's on HBO on Sunday nights. It's the story of a telepathic waitress in Louisiana who meets and gets involved with a vampire named Bill. Yes, I said vampire. The premise behind this show is that the Japanese have perfected synthetic blood, so vampires have "come out of the coffin" (haha) and are now living among us out in the open. Because they can buy this synthetic blood right from the store in six packs like beer (even flavored by blood type), they no longer need to feed on humans for survival (although it appears that some still like to, i.e., the bad ones). The porn comes in because, thus far, it has been pretty sexually explicit, way more than I expected. I mean, tying people up, videotaping, etc. I guess I should have realized, it is on HBO. Most of that so far has centered around the main female character's brother, who is a real horndog and kind of gross, but in a comic way in that he means no harm. I'm sure as the show progresses, the two main characters will go in that direction, as it's clear they're developing a romance. But I hope the show isn't as explicit with them as it's been with other characters. I think I'd get grossed out. As the show progresses, I'm not sure if I'm going to like it long term. I've never really been into vampire lore, and I don't like violence very much, and I also think that the show will get more violent as it progresses. There is already a murder mystery in progress. So we'll see if this show is long term viewing.

That's what been going on with us! Just watching too much TV. And my work has gone from 0 to 60, so all of a sudden, I'm very busy! It's a little overwhelming. Right now I'm just chilling, watching the always fun "13 Going on 30" on FX, and I should get up and go exercise. Blah!

Wii Fit-ting

2008-09-11T15:00:00.000-04:00

Most of you already know that Brian and I got a Nintendo Wii back in January. I really like the system; it's really easy to use and has games that I am actually interested in playing. There have been several hugely popular games to come out for the Wii: Wii Play (that we don't have), Guitar Hero (that we do have), Rock Band (we also have and it sort of sucks for the Wii, there are very few songs), and soon, Guitar Hero World Tour (which is pretty much like Rock Band, but with more songs and tons of downloadables. We will be getting it and probably getting rid of Rock Band). But, thus far, my favorite thing for the Wii is Wii Fit.

Wii Fits are very hard to find. We finally snagged ourselves one about a week ago after months of trying (it was supposed to be my birthday present). For those who don't know, Wii Fit is a game that contains many different exercises and it acts as your personal trainer. You use the Mii (your avatar) that you've already created, and you give it your date of birth, and height. The balance board portion of the game (a white thing you stand on while exercising) weighs you and calculates your BMI. That portion is frightening because it really tells you the truth about how fat you are. The other frightening part is that your Mii changes depending on your BMI. For example, Brian and I's Mii's are both sort of puffy and round because WE are both sort of puffy and round.

So, you begin working out with the Wii Fit. You can select your own personal trainer (a guy or a girl) and do exercises in 4 categories: Yoga, Balance Games, Aerobics, and Strength Training. Some of the exercises are a lot harder than others, which obviously depends on your current fitness level and things that you already do. For example, I have been doing yoga on a weekly basis for months now, so that portion is easier for me, but certain poses are still challenging. The aerobics portion is easier too, because I do kickboxing and jogging. But the balance games and strength training are evil, because I am not strong, nor do I have good balance. And it's cool, its almost like virtual reality. You can ski jump, hula hoop, hit soccer balls with your head, and all sorts of other stuff.

When you're done working out (or whenever you want really), you can do the Wii Body Test. What it does is measure your balance, stability, and center of gravity, which it claims are the real test of fitness. Which makes sense if you think about it. The Wii is always telling you to improve your posture, which is linked to balance, etc. After it's done testing you, it gives you your Wii Fit Age, which, if you are fit, should be below your real age. Mine has teetered above and below my real age, averaging about at my real age. So, I guess that's okay. But I really want it to tell me I'm 20 again!

Well, that's my take on the Wii Fit. I better go now and spend some time on it, because it calls you out if you don't work out every day!

Short Political Statements

2008-09-04T15:15:00.000-04:00

I am extremely glad to be able to report that Kwame Kilpatrick is finally GONE! This news makes me sooooo happy. That man has been damaging the city, region, and state for a long time now (not just the months this current scandal has been going on). He needed to go years ago, but unfortunately, the people of the City re-elected him two years ago. That goes to show that some people don't know what's good for them.

In case you don't know the details, this morning Kwame plead guilty to two felony counts of obstruction of justice in regards to the perjury case against him. In return for pleading guilty, he's resigning as Mayor (effective September 18th), surrendering his law license, serving 4 months in jail (beginning October 28th), with 5 years of probation after that. During his probation, he cannot run for or hold public office. Also, he has to make A MILLION dollars of restitution by the end of that 5 year period. He also plead no-contest in the assault case against him, which is basically a plea of guilty without saying you're guilty. Funny, huh?

Further, Chief of Police Ella Bully-Cummings resigned today, as she was one of his cronies and knew she would be losing a job anyway. As of this writing, Chief Counsel Sharon McPhail (also a Kwame-crony) had also tendered her resignation. I expect in the coming weeks, many high level city officials will be out of a job, either voluntarily or involuntarily when the head of City Council, Ken Cockrel, Jr., takes over the job (as is the chain of command under the city charter). Cockrel has never cared for Kwame, which makes me automatically like him. Honestly, I do like what I've seen of Cockrel, and hope that for whatever time he is in charge, some good things can happen. (He's in charge until there's a special election, but since the regular election is only in November 2009, they might just let him do the job for a year to settle things down.)

The second thing I'd like to discuss is Sarah Palin. None of the things I've heard in the media since she was selected as McCain's running mate have swayed me in the least. So she's a big conservative and her daughter's pregnant? So? It happens in all sorts of families. At least she and her boyfriend seem to want to do the right thing. If Sarah was a pro-choice, an abortion may have been procured and it would have been hushed under the rug. Now, I'm not saying either option is right or wrong. Do I think 17 is too young to have a baby and get married? In 99% of cases, YES. But it's not for me to decide or judge. It's a family matter. Quit criticizing and picking on poor Bristol, she's got enough to worry about!

Also, Sarah cannot seem to catch a break on the whole mommy-work thing. Now, everyone is saying she couldn't do the job of VP effectively because "her family is falling apart," "she has a special needs child she should be paying more attention to," etc. Boy, it's funny, but if she had put her career on hold to be with her family, these crazy liberals (and I do say the crazy ones, because I myself am pretty liberal on social issues) would tell her she was wasting her life and could do more than JUST raise children. Listen, as a country, if we want equality for women, then we have to accept and support the life choices that ALL WOMEN make, not just the ones we agree with politically. I honestly don't know if I will ever find a job or career that is where I fit in. Does that mean my life is wasted and unproductive? According to these same people, yes (only they twist their argument when it comes to Sarah). The whole point of feminism SHOULD BE that women now have the choice whether to work, not work, have kids, not to have kids, or any combination thereof. However, that doesn't seem to be what most people who call themselves feminists believe anymore. Tragic.

Sarah Palin Rocks My World

2008-09-01T10:15:00.000-04:00

So, I am so excited about John McCain's choice of running mate. Alaska governor Sarah Palin is awesome! I had heard her name floated around several months ago in the Veep-stakes, and looked her up, and was immediately impressed by what I read. I literally jumped for joy when I heard she was his choice and I think Brian is in love with another woman. Here is a rundown of all the cool things about her:

1) She has cleaned up corruption, both outside her party and inside it. She doesn't care who you are, if you are dirty, she will tear you up. She's extremely honest and scrupulous.
2) She is fiscally conservative, i.e., is not going to tax the hell out of my (but mostly Brian's) hard earned money to turn around and give entitlements and handouts to people who don't deserve it. Barack Obama's tax plan basically wants to penalize people like Brian and I (and many of our friends) who worked our butts off to get educated and make a good living. To hell with that!
3) She is not a lawyer, or other career-politician type. She has a bachelor's in journalism from the University of Idaho! (Way to go journalism majors--shout out to A!) She worked as a sportscaster for a while, was a commercial fisherman, and did other jobs as well, before being elected to city council, mayor, and governor. And to the Democrats, who are demeaning her experience being mayor of a small town--small towns are the backbone of this country. FUCK YOU. (Excuse my language.)
4) She was a high school basketball star in her hometown who was called "Sarah Barracuda" for having ovaries of steel and playing on a broken foot in the state championship game. She was also in the Miss Alaska pageant to earn scholarship money for college.
5) Her dad is a teacher and her mom was the school secretary--normal upbringing! She and her dad used to go hunt moose before school started. She's a lifetime NRA member (perhaps Brian's second favorite thing about her, behind the fiscal conservatism).
6) She is a mother of five, married to her high school sweetheart for 20 years. Her oldest child is in the Army, going to Iraq in a few weeks, and her youngest is a 4 month old baby with Down's Syndrome. Wow.

Okay, so I'm not saying I agree with everything about her. In my heart, I am a bit more liberal, but the modern Democratic party has lost my vote due to factor #2, listed above. Quit taking my money to pay for people who don't want to work! The things about her that I don't agree with are: 1) She is against gay marriage. On the whole, I would say, let gay people get married. I believe it would create stability in families. Also, allowing gay people to marry in no way diminishes my marriage, so what do I care? 2) Most importantly, she is EXTREMELY pro-life, whereas I am pro-choice. While that is an important issue to me, I cannot cast my vote based on that issue alone. Life is not that simple. And I do respect her immensely for choosing not to terminate her last pregnancy and having her baby with Down's Syndrome. Clearly, she is not hypocritical in her beliefs. She is what she seems.

Also, apparently, there is some potential scandal brewing. In Alaska, people are alleging that she fired an administrator in the State Police for refusing to fire her ex-brother in law, a trooper who was having a nasty custody dispute with her sister. She denies it and the investigation is on going. If that's the worst they can find on her, she's still the cleanest politician out there. Her approval rating in Alaska is over 80%. She must be doing many things right!

So, in short, my vote in November will go to McCain/Palin! Who's got a woman on the ticket now bitches! Also, I want to tell people that I've fixed the blog so anyone can comment, not just those with a blogger id, like my friend A. So, please leave comments, I'd love to read them! Just click on Comments at the bottom of the entry, and choose "Anonymous."

Nervous Nellie!

2008-08-27T15:00:00.002-04:00

First, I'd like to thank my friend and frequent reader A, who has already commented to me that she likes the new layout of the blog! Thanks A! After she upgraded her blog, and seeing several other blogs I read change layout recently, I thought it was time for a change. I found this template, which I feel is actually Michigan-y and pretty. It reminds me of my wedding (coolest day ever) on Mackinac Island, with our wedding cake being shaped like a lighthouse. Hope everyone likes it.

Second, on to the real purpose of this post. I am nervous about a few work related things lately. The firm I am working for gave me a real project last week, a research and writing thing, the likes of which I basically haven't done in a year and a half. I've finished it a couple days early and am going to send it to the partner later this afternoon. I have a bad feeling it's not good, or it won't be what they wanted, or it's not up to snuff. I don't know what to do about that--the project itself was fairly straightforward and simple. I guess I'm worried I OVER simplified it and didn't do enough. I just want them to be satisfied with it as a first draft. Honestly, I'm sure it's fine, but I always have this nagging feeling that my work isn't good enough, and by extension, I'm not good enough. Both places I worked as a "real lawyer" (i.e. in the office, full time) I feel didn't give me enough feedback for me to really know if I suck or am halfway decent as a lawyer. So me, being the eternal pessimist, always feel like I'm not good enough. I feel like everything that's ever happened to me is because I suck at my job, and hence, that's why I've not been searching for a full time job all that hard over the past year and a half. I fee like I'm just going to get burned again. Ugh.

The other thing I'm worrying about is playing softball tomorrow! You might wonder, why is she playing softball tomorrow and why is she worried about it? Well, I'm playing softball at the annual firm picnic. I'm worried about going to this outing when I really don't know anybody because I don't work in the office. That's why I'm turning in the assignment late this afternoon--hopefully the partner who assigned it will not have had a chance to read it when I see him tomorrow. If they hate it, I'd much rather get bad news via email (hearing that you suck always comes easier in writing, as opposed to in person). Also, I'm just plain worried about embarrassing myself playing ball! I haven't played since I was a kid. I have very little athletic ability and cannot even keep coordinated in kickboxing class. I've been making my lovely husband, who plays every week on his team in the summer and into the fall, practice with me. We've been throwing and catching, hitting, and fielding. I've been okay, but I'll never be Jennie Finch, or even my friends A or K, who were both pretty darn good players in high school. I just hope I don't fall on my butt or blow a huge play that loses my team the game or something! Aaagh!

Say Hello to My Little Friend

2008-08-21T09:10:00.001-04:00

So, about a week ago Brian said I needed a new toy. Keep in mind, I think I have the only husband on the planet who says I need to spend more money on myself. He has been wanting to get a new phone, as his Treo was completely crapping out--failing to sync properly, keys were dying, Windows Mobile was crashing, etc. He was sick of it, and I was sick of hearing him complain.

He decided he wanted an I-phone. For him, it makes sense, that's a business tool. I said, "For me, honey, that would be entirely useless. My flip phone is fine." Well, he disagreed. You see, he's been trying to get me a Wii-Fit since my birthday (2 months ago now!) and cannot get his hands on one. So, to make it up for me, he decided I needed a new phone. I am now the proud owner of a 16G 3G I-phone.

We got them on Friday of last week. For about 2 days, all I could do was play with it. And I must say, it's pretty freaking cool. But now, I've realized it's much more work than my old phone! I have to sync it up with my computer, manage my contacts, manage my music (I decided not to put my whole I-pod library on the thing, so what you do is import playlists). Also, we can't figure out how to sync up the photos I've taken with the phone onto my computer without copying them (i.e., I end up with 2 sets of identical photos on the phone). Brian is in his element with this stuff. For me, it's just frustrating, because it never works the way you want it to. I think technology should just be able to read my mind and do exactly what I want, when I want it. If it doesn't, then I'm not interested. Although, I must say, the I-phone is about as close to that as I've ever seen. And it is wicked fast. But maybe, just maybe, I don't really need to check my email tonight at Brian's softball game, or get on the internet to check the weather in Timbuktu. Maybe all this technology stuff is going a little to far. I can't get him off his damn computer to begin with. I think pretty soon, he's just going to want to get his cell phone implanted in his head or something so he's never without it, yet doesn't have to carry it around. Maybe we don't need to be plugged in 24-7. Maybe humans weren't meant to live that way. Maybe we all need to take a step back and lead a bit simpler lives.

Maybe we should just all be Amish. But, I hate Brian's beard (all married Amish men wear beards) and I'm sure I'd get sick of dark colored dresses, bonnets, and no shaving my legs pretty quickly. What a dilemma....

Two People I am Sick Of

2008-08-13T19:00:00.001-04:00

Michael Phelps and Kwame Kilpatrick. I know, probably not the names you were expecting to read. And, granted, they are very different people, but I am sick of them for the same reason....they are EVERYWHERE.

Kwame-gate has been going on awhile now. The whole things makes me both laugh at the stupidity of the people of Detroit for re-electing him, and cringe, because he had such promise and he's thrown it all away. He's let his political power go to his head; he thinks he's untouchable. I don't give a crap about his affair with Christine Beatty--what some REALLY STUPID people fail to realize is that the perjury case is not about sex for Christ's sake. It's about LYING UNDER OATH. Rule one of our legal system--when you are sworn in to testify--you don't lie. Apparently only Kwame, Bill Clinton, and a few other people in the world don't realize this. Also, who the hell does he think he is, assaulting two sheriff's deputies, one with physical deeds, the other with horrible racial slurs? As I said, he thinks he's untouchable, that's who he thinks he is. Well, he is not, and he needs to go NOW.

As for Michael Phelps, I am probably in the minority of people who have this feeling that I'm TOTALLY and UTTERLY sick of him. He is not the only freaking person competing for our country at the Olympics! The media, especially the media around here, sure treats him like he is. The local media is always saying, "Michigan's own Michael Phelps," but honestly, he's not a Michigander! He swims here, yeah, but he was born and lived in Maryland his whole life, except the last four years. And, as soon as these games are over, he has stated he's going back to Maryland. I understand and agree that he is a tremendous athlete (even in my mind, perhaps the best ever, not just for his sport), but he is not God. Quit kissing his ass so much! I bet he's got a huge ego from everyone sucking up to him ever since he started swimming because he's so good. Quit giving him so much attention! Tell me about some of the other athletes in other events!

So sayeth my rant and rave.

Life Happenings..

2008-08-07T20:00:00.000-04:00

Lots of little things going on lately, thought I'd do an another life update!

1) Reproductive stuff--all of my test results have now come back. They found absolutely nothing, which is both good news and (to me) bad news. At least if they find something, it can be treated and you can have some reassurance that this won't happen again. Brian was even tested for a few things, and everything came back fine. So, all they can really do for me is to give me progesterone supplements (the effectiveness of which is medically controversial) and baby aspirin, of all things. Also, I have to get this stuff through a special compound pharmacy that does not take insurance, which is pretty inconvenient. Hopefully, it works.

2) Work stuff--I've been off work again for the last two weeks since deps went into summer vacation. They should start up again next week. Also, the firm I'm doing the work for says they're happy with me, and want me to start doing more work for them, both asbestos and non-asbestos related. They even are putting my picture and bio up on their website! This other work is stuff, that with training, I should be able to do from home a lot, so that is great! It hasn't started yet, so we'll see how it works out.

3) Movies--since seeing the X-Files movie, Brian and I have seen "Step-Brothers" and "Pineapple Express." Both were raunchy R-rated comedies that, at least in my mind, somewhat failed to live up to the hype. They were both decent, and Brian actually liked "Pineapple Express" pretty well (I think it's because he could relate to ALL the pot jokes). But for me, I would have been happy to wait until they were rentals!

4) Baby Showers--I went to C's last weekend, and it was very nice. I helped write down the gifts, and she thanked me later for my "thoroughness." I probably wrote too much! My friend and frequent reader A's is coming up next weekend. It is "Cat in the Hat" themed, which my mother thinks is very cool and is excited to attend with me. I wrapped part of her gift tonight, but I need more paper!

5) Brian's annual camping excursion--he is finally gone camping with the boys for the year. I have to admit, I'm glad it's here so it can be over. For a good two weeks before, its all I hear about, and then we have to go get all the food because Brian has cooked it all for the last few years (except last year, and there were complaints all around). So, finally life can get back to normal.

Great! There's the update! I'm off to watch the finale of "So You Think You Can Dance," which my friend K-Lo got me hooked on last year!

I Missed My Friends Mulder and Scully

2008-07-28T15:00:00.001-04:00

So, I've previously discussed my great teenage love of Pete Sampras. But those who know me know the real truth: that the Great Pete comes in a distant second to my love of all things Mulder and Scully.

It's sad to say, but "The X-Files" was a major component of my life throughout high school and college. I've seen every episode numerous times, and can still amaze Brian with my thoroughly useless knowledge of the content of the episodes. He and I can be watching something totally unrelated and he'll say an actor looks familiar, and I can say, "Oh he guest starred on the X-Files episode...." and name the episode, what season it was in, what the character's name was, and everything else. It is really kind of pathetic. When you are a fan of a show to that depth, you feel as though you know the characters as real people. (Sometimes I can understand how someone who's totally unhinged can think they know an actor or something.) So, last night, when Brian took me to see the movie, "The X-Files: I Want to Believe," I felt like I was visiting old friends whom I haven't seen in a while. I was curious what's up with them.

I don't want to ruin the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it, but I will say a few things. Scully is still gorgeous in that super-smart chick way (yeah smart chicks!), Mulder is still hot (to me anyway, even though Duchovny is nearing 50), Skinner makes a brief appearance (I was soooo happy), and even their baby William is briefly mentioned (but not discussed further, bummer). Mulder and Scully have apparently been living together as a couple since they went on the run in the show's finale, and it shows. And I mean that in a good way. Some reviews have stated that they thought the chemistry was lacking between our two heroes, but I disagree. The chemistry is just different. Because Mulder and Scully have been in a long term relationship at this point, the repressed sexual chemistry is gone. They are now two people who admittedly love each other like crazy, and are disagreeing on what direction their lives are going to take. As I said to Brian last night, he and I surely have different chemistry than we did when we started dating. But that doesn't mean it's not there.

The movie itself was okay/pretty good. I will agree with some people who thought it wasn't as suspenseful as it could have been. Along the way, the viewers were given clues as to what was happening that, on the show itself, we would have never been given, thus lessening the suspense level. It was still a very interesting story focusing on faith, psychic abilities, and some other super duper creepy stuff I won't reveal. All in all, I was very happy to see the movie. No matter what, I will always love Mulder and Scully.

Vacation Part Two: Salzburg, Hitler's House, and Munich

2008-07-20T20:40:00.002-04:00

Well, we are home from our whirlwind adventures. And boy, are we tired! We got home last night, and could barely make it until 10 pm and crashed. And then we proceeded to wake up at about 6 this morning, due to the time change (that was noon for us). We are both exhausted today. Anyway, we had a great time, and its fun seeing all this neat stuff, but its also stressful being away from home in a foreign land where you don't speak the language, or eat that type of food all the time, and can't buy tampons if you need them at 10 at night because everything is closed (I speak from experience--they don't believe in being open past 8). Brian was in heaven with fried meat, spatzl and beer 12 times a day, but quite frankly, I feel kind of gross and am looking forward to regularly having fruits and vegetables in my diet again. Germany and Austria are a cardiologists nightmare. +2 pounds in 10 days is all I have to say (and I've been having trouble fitting into my pants as it is).

Picture explanation:

Picture one is of the fortress in Salzburg, Austria, looking up from the bottom of the city. Salzburg is an absolutely gorgeous city, the birthplace of Mozart, and has awesome chocolates. Definitely my favorite place we went on the trip. I would definitely go back. I just wish it hadn't rained half the time we were there!

Picture two is of the Eagle's Nest in Obersalzburg, Austria. This is the site of the summer home of Adolf Hitler. The house isn't actually there anymore; the building you can see in the picture was a workspace or something, and is now a restaurant. To get there, you have to drive high up in the Alps, park your car, pay $30 Euro, take a 20 minute bus ride up the side of the mountain (where I thought we were going to tumble over and die), then take an elevator up even further, and then you see....a really great view over the Alps. Brian was disappointed that Hitler's house is gone, but some really good plotting to kill over 6 million Jews, Gypsies, Catholics, political opponents, and generally anyone who didn't agree with the psychotic windbag took place where we ate lunch! A lot of the history is gone, as the people are obviously really ashamed of what took place in the area.

Picture three is one of me pretending to drink a huge mug of beer at the Hofbrauhaus in Munich. This is a really cool place, an extremely old biergarten where Hitler (there he is again) gave a big speech. For those who like beer, its brews are second to none. Also has good food and the best atmosphere. You sit at big long tables with people you don't know, family style. Great way to meet people. It is absolute chaos. We went there 2 nights in a row and had a great time, except for me almost getting into a fight the second night while pointing out to a fellow American that he was a total jackass and was the reason people hated American tourists.

I also want to say that we spent Thursday at the Dachau Concentration Camp. Pictures were allowed and Brian took a few, but it feels weird to post one there. At least 200,000 people were imprisoned and tortured there from 1933 until 1945, and over 42,000 died. After seeing what I saw, I firmly believe that anyone who denies the Holocaust is a complete whackjob (not that I didn't think that before, this only reinforced my belief). And according to Brian, this was a more "sterile" camp, they've removed a lot of things, and the most graphic things we viewed were in the documentary they showed us. It was a very moving experience, and something everyone should see with their own eyes.

Back to work tomorrow!

Vacation Part One: Czech Republic and Vienna

2008-07-15T14:32:00.002-04:00

Vacation is going great! Driving around in Europe is fun, even if gas is around 8 bucks a gallon. The speed limits are crazy high, if there is one at all. Brian is having too much fun. It scares the hell out of me, to be honest.

A brief explanation of these pictures:

Number one is of one of the many churches in one of the many squares in Prague. Prague is beautiful and nice, but, it has changed a lot, according to Brian. He was here about 12 years ago, and it is much more generic and SUPER expensive, like many other parts of Europe. Plus, despite, being part of the EU, they still use their own money, the Czech Crown. The exchange rate is about 15 to 1, so trying to do the math is weird and it is super easy to get ripped off, which we did in a restaurant the first night until we figured it out. A crappy dinner ended up costing us well over $100. Yikes. But, even a cheap dinner cost $50 or $75 (pretty standard in tourist towns in Europe). But, one our second night there, we had a great dinner in a restaurant called U Flecku that brewed their own 13% beer. Brian was thrilled.

The second picture is the Bone Church in Kutna Hora, Czech Republic. That is Brian standing next to the real bones of dead people. This whole place is decorated in these bones. It is really creepy. The Ossuary is the common grave of about 40,000 people, many of whom died in wars or of the plague hundreds of years ago. Brian thought it was really cool; I was creeped out. I needed to get out of there after about a half an hour.

The third photos is of me standing at the top of the Gloriette at Schombrunn Palace in Vienna. The palace and the city are behind me. This is a gorgeous palace that used to belong to the Hapsburg family, of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. We got to go through a ton of rooms, but they didn't allow pictures. We really enjoyed it, but agreed that we'd be miserable living there!

Watch out for another post with pics from Salzburg and Munich right after we get back!

Goin' on Vacation

2008-07-08T08:30:00.001-04:00

Holy smokes, we leave for our vacation tomorrow. I can't believe it, it's come so fast! For those who don't know, we're going to Prague, Vienna, Salzburg, and Munich. I am so excited. I've never been to the continent before, just the UK. Not sure what to expect, although I did fine in Chile on our honeymoon, and that was much more foreign of a culture than Europe. Many people in Europe speak English (although Brian speaks a little German), and as long as you say "Thank you" a lot, they won't brand you a rude American tourist. And, being quiet helps too. No loud talk on cell phones! (And Brian's phone works there, so theoretically, we could use it!)

Anyway, I have most of my clothes laid out, the rest to be laid out today. Brian will do the same and he'll pack them up. We have to leave the house tomorrow around 2:30 or 3:00 in the afternoon, so I can hit the gym, come home and shower and have lunch, and have time left before I have to go. We've been making ourselves get up early the past few days to help pre-adjust to the time change. The places we are going are 6 hours ahead. But we have to land Thursday morning in Munich, get our rental car and drive to Prague, on very little sleep, so that will be a rough day. The rest should be fine! We planned our own itinerary; Brian is an experienced enough traveler that we felt confident doing that, and he got his International Driving Permit, which was recommended for where we were going.

So, that's about all I have to say! I hope everybody's Fourth of July holiday went well, ours was great. We're taking my computer on the trip and will load pictures off the camera several times to save them, so there might be a post on vacation with some pics!

Short Update

2008-06-29T19:45:00.000-04:00

Nothing huge is going on right now, but I thought I'd give a bit of an update of smaller things that are going on here!

1) I've not worked much in the last half of June. Just a few days here and there, and actually none at all last week or this coming week. I've been told the deps will pick back up again in August or so. I don't mind. It's not so bad being off in the summer, but I like getting paid!

2) We have FINALLY gotten a few things done around here decor-wise that I've been wanting to do. The living room and dining room are painted (tan with red accents), the deck is cleaned and stained (so nice to sit on), we've hung a few pictures in the family room and dining room (have a few more to do in other rooms) and got a rug and a bench with coat hooks for the foyer (that has been driving me crazy for the entire time we've lived here). I finally feel like it's our house and it's the way I want it to look!

3) 8 of my 10 tests have come back from the doctor. They are all normal, which is good, according to Brian. I actually kind of wish they'd find something, and then I'd have a reason for why this has happened. Several people have told me that that's a wrong attitude and I agree with them in my head, but it's hard to reconcile in my heart. Just waiting for 2 more on me and the tissue testing for the fetus. I hope that all comes back before we leave on vacation. I think I want a consult with a reproductive endocrinologist just to have a second opinion. Another set of eyes on someone's file is always a good thing.

4) Speaking of our vacation, we leave in 10 days!! Whoo-hoo!!

I Feel Old

2008-06-22T17:30:00.001-04:00

Brian and I are going on vacation in abut 2 and a half weeks. We are super excited, we got a great deal to go to Europe, mostly on points, which is great. We'll be spending 10 days in Prague, Vienna, Salzburg, and Munich. Fantastic. Anyway, I realized we needed to do something about Jack the cat while we were gone. I called our cat sitter who watched him when we were gone in Hawaii, but she was already double booked. "Oh, crap," I said to myself, "what are we going to do?" I didn't want to board him again, because when we went on our honeymoon, that was so hard for him. And I felt badly about asking either Holly or Candace to come out several times to check on him, water him, etc.

Last weekend, Brian says to me, "What about Grant?" Grant is my younger brother, who is almost 16 (in about 6 weeks). Brian though maybe he'd like to come stay at the house while we're gone. "Great solution to the problem," I thought to myself. I was sure he'd like the money. But then I realized, HOLY CRAP, GRANT IS OLD ENOUGH TO HOUSE SIT BY HIMSELF. I feel so flipping old.

Grant was born when I was 13. And I hated him as a baby--he ruined my life. I was the youngest kid until then, and then this squalling little thing came into the house And then Travis, the baby (who's now about 5'6" and 140 lbs), came 16 months later. By then, I was used to having my life ruined. But man, it freaked me out to realize that the little baby whose diaper I changed and who peed on me in Meijer was old enough to house sit. Not only was he old enough to house sit, he's old enough to have one of his buddies drive him down, he doesn't need Mom to do it. Also, he can mow the lawn while we're gone!

So, he's going to come and do that. We've got good stuff for a teenager to do, we've got the Wii and satellite TV and stuff. Also, I'm sure he'll want to get back into his running routine (cross country starts soon), and this is a good neighborhood and area to run in. He's going to come down for a day in the next two weeks so we can show him where everything is. So, I'm really glad that that whole situation is going to work out.

But, gosh, not only is Grant actually growing up, my cousin Kayla had her graduation party yesterday, and she is going to State in the fall. It's so weird, because I distinctly remember when she was born--I remember Uncle Mark calling the house and me running across the yard to tell my mom (she was at the neighbor's) and picker bushes cutting up my feet. Crazy that she's leaving for college in the fall. My very young aunt and uncle (not even 50) will pretty much be empty nesters in a few months (Cory still lives at home, but goes to OCC and works a bunch, so he pretty much does his own thing).

I feel so old at 29!

Brighter Times

2008-06-16T22:00:00.000-04:00

I am beginning to really feel better. I was at the doctor today, and everything looks good. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow, though. I have to go to the lab in the morning and have 10 vials of blood drawn for 10 different tests to check for common and uncommon cause of miscarriage. I will tolerate having all this blood drawn (one of my least tolerable things) so we can try to get to the bottom of this issue. I have to go in the morning because 2 of the tests the doctor is running are chromosome tests on me, and they have to be done and picked up by noon for immediate shipment. I'm very glad these tests are being done, but the doctor told me that, honestly, she doesn't expect to find anything. She thinks that because I'm young and healthy, she has a feeling that I'm one of these unlucky folks for which they can't find a reason. But at least we'll look.

We did talk about the progesterone issue, which is something I've found in my own personal research. When I was tested last fall during the first miscarriage, my level was 3.8, which by my research is quite low. The doctor agreed that it's low, but it's one of those issues that the medical community can't agree on. Is the level low because I was miscarrying, or was I miscarrying because the level was low? I asked about progesterone supplements for when we try again (providing that no other issue is found). The doctor said she's not a "strong believer" in it, but she certainly prescribes it for people because it doesn't hurt anything. So, when the time comes, I'll be going on that. So, that's what my status is right now. I just want this blood drawn so the tests can start coming back.

Also, my birthday was Friday, and it was good. I'm mentioning this so I can give a shout out to my friend A, who is a frequent reader of this blog and sent me the most awesome birthday card ever that I received today and was exactly what I needed. It is homemade and tells a story of me being a hottie, and everyone from Sawyer from LOST to Matt Damon wanting me. AND it has a picture of Pete Sampras on the cover. A is awesome and creative, and I love it. I have really good friends.

In Mourning

2008-06-09T21:20:00.000-04:00

I think many people would be surprised that I am writing this and would not do it if they were in the same situation. However, I deal best with things by talking about them, so here goes.

Friday I suffered my second pregnancy loss in under a year. I am devastated by this. Everything was going along fine with this pregnancy, in stark contrast to the one last fall. At seven weeks, Brian and I went to our first doctor's appointment and saw the heartbeat easily on ultrasound. We felt extremely encouraged, as once you see a fetal heartbeat on ultrasound, there is a less than 10% chance of loss. Well, apparently I am in that crap 10%.

Thursday I had a little spotting, which is not unusual. I called the doctor's office for reassurance, which they provided. However, I woke up Friday, and it was worse and I was beginning to have a little cramping. I was 9 weeks and 5 days. I went to work, but while on break, made a doctor appointment for the afternoon, because I wanted to be checked. I called work and said they needed to get somebody to cover for the afternoon, because I was having an emergency. I split as soon as I could.

I came home and grabbed Brian and by the time we were leaving for the appointment it was getting worse. We made it to the doctor and I was in quite a lot of pain, but it wasn't even as bad as it was last fall. By this point, I knew what was going on. I was expecting to have an ultrasound and be told the fetus wasn't viable and that I would miscarry over the weekend or something. It took about two days of agony last time. Well, this happened so fast, I actually miscarried at the doctor's office, after only an hour or two of severe cramping. I was hysterical and devastated. (I pretty much still am.)

I can take comfort in the fact that at least Brian was with me and not on the road. I could not have been through that by myself. Also, because I was at the doctor's office, they were able to save everything for testing. Because this has happened to me twice now back to back, they are also going to start testing me to see if I have some discernible issue. I hope they can find something, either treatable or not. I cannot deal with this much more.

This one is harder emotionally than last fall for this reason. It's apparent from the ultrasounds I had last fall that that pregnancy never developed normally. It never had a heartbeat. This one was going along fine, and its heart was beating; it was living inside me. I feel like my body did something to kill it. My only consolation is that it's widely believed that a fetus cannot feel pain until about 6-7 months, so at least my little baby didn't suffer.

The last thing I would say is a lesson for people who have never gone through this. Please DO NOT ask people when they are having children. We get that question from well-meaning but ignorant people, and its starting to wear thin. It's a very hurtful question for people like us who have suffered pregnancy losses, or people who have trouble conceiving. Just don't ask it--you have no idea what people are going through behind their closed doors.

Runnin' Down a Dream

2008-06-02T21:00:00.000-04:00

Saturday night was a big night. Brian took me to see Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers at the Palace. I love Tom Petty. "Full Moon Fever" came out when I was 10 and it was the first album I have in my consciousness. What I mean is that I remember when that record came out, I remember it as a whole album, not just a song or two. I know all the words to every song on it, and I think it is one of the best records ever. And Tom Petty is one of the best recording artists ever. So I was very excited for Saturday.

We went to the show with my parents, which, to some, may sound lame, but my mom has good taste in music, so she appreciated being asked. We had dinner with them at a very good Mexican restaurant in Lake Orion called Sagebrush Cantina. If you are ever over there and have the chance to go, eat there. It was absolutely delicious food. After dinner, we drove the 6 miles to the Palace and got ready to watch the opening act.

Steve Winwood was the "special guest", and he was very good, I must say. However, it was the longest opening act I've ever seen. He played for an hour! Usually the opener lasts no longer than 30-45 minutes. Then, the freakin' intermission was 50 minutes. So, it was almost 10 p.m. by the time Tom took the stage.

But it was worth the wait. He sounded great, and did tons of classic songs. He did four off "Full Moon Fever," the big 4 as I call them: "Runnin' Down a Dream," "Free Fallin'," "I Won't Back Down," and "Face in the Crowd." He did old songs like "Refugee," "American Girl," and "The Waiting." He did newer stuff like "Mary Jane's Last Dance" and a couple off the "Wildflowers" album. He even did a Traveling Wilburys tune. (For those who don't know, the Traveling Wilburys was a supergroup consisting of Petty, George Harrison, Jeff Lynne, Bob Dylan, and Roy Orbison.) He played for about an hour and 20-25 minutes, and then did a 2 song encore. Very enjoyable evening.

So, overall, my humble review of the show was that it was great. But I would have liked 3 slight changes: 1) 15 minutes less Steve Winwood (even though he was great too) 2) 15 minutes more Tom Petty and 3) less intermission!

These Deps are Funny

2008-05-27T20:39:00.002-04:00

So, I thought I'd give you an idea of what I do all day at work. I'm doing depositions in asbestos litigation, as a defense attorney. Basically, when people allege that asbestos has made them sick, they file a lawsuit. At some point, their deposition is taken, which means 25 of us defense attorneys sit around in a room and ask them questions. It's not hard work.

The best part of doing these deps are the things that some of these folks say. Like the older gentleman who told us he had three children from his two marriages. Later in the dep, one of the other attorneys questioned that, thinking there were more. Turns out he had ELEVEN children total, 3 from his marriages and EIGHT from outside marriages. He didn't tell us about those kids because he didn't think we'd think they were important. Also, one day we deposed a wife and then the husband. When we asked the wife when they were married, she couldn't say and said "Oh my goodness, don't tell my husband." It was so funny. We ended up accidentally ratting her out when he asked her husband the question, and he knew immediately. We all ended up laughing and had to tell him why.

The best of all the things I've heard though was a guy who had worked for DTE in the 1970's and 1980's. When he quit DTE, he went to San Francisco for a few years. Part of the questions we ask in these deps are simple background questions, but a very important question that's asked if the person ever used tobacco products (hard for them to claim lung problems from asbestos if they've been a pack a day smoker for 40 years). This gentleman was asked if he ever smoked a pipe, he asked, HONEST TO GOD, "What kind of pipe?" We all immediately looked at each other and after the dep was over, asked each other if he meant a crack pipe or a bong pipe.

Later in the dep, we were going through his medical history, and he stated he'd have to have surgery on his nose years ago because he kept getting nosebleeds. But he couldn't say what the surgery was for. Keep in mind, earlier in the dep, he had stated that when he went to San Francisco, his health was not great, because "he didn't take very good care of himself." Okay, now tell me that that nose surgery wasn't to repair the damage he'd done by snorting cocaine. We all died afterwards.

Sometimes the deps are sad though. When the person who was sick has already died, we depose the personal representative of the estate, usually an adult child. And more often than not, these children know absolutely nothing about what their parents did at work, or even where they worked. A lot of times, they know nothing about their parent's (usually the father) own parents, don't even know what their grandparents names were, or where they were born. Frequently, these kids don't even know if their own parent had cancer or heart problems. It is so depressing, it makes you want to ask if they even knew their parents at all. And, sadly enough, the answer is, probably not. They're just in it for the money.

But, that's what I do all day. Sit around and listen to people's crazy life stories, and occasionally ask a few relevant questions. Easy!

Family Strife

2008-05-18T19:45:00.001-04:00

So, unfortunately, my grandfather is not doing well. Many of you already know that he has bi-polar disorder, and was diagnosed with that almost 17 years ago, the summer I was 12. He had a complete break that summer, and was institutionalized for a long time that summer. At that time, he was put on lithium (a heavy duty anti-psychotic). The lithium worked well for him for about 15 years. However, about 2 years ago, he started showing signs that it was not working for him anymore. He would not sleep for days on end, get extremely excitable, and have screaming fits towards my grandmother. His doctors decided to try different meds, ones that had come onto the market more recently. The upshot is that none of them have worked for more than a few months at at time.

In the past year, he has had to be institutionalized again 3 times. The mental problems are starting to affect him physically. He will not eat, and currently weighs a whopping 120 pounds (and is about 5'9"). He got out of the psych ward earlier this spring and my grandma wanted to take him out to their cabin in Pennsylvania, near my aunt. They should not have gone.

A couple of weeks ago, he took off on their golf cart for several hours. My grandmother, who is not handling this situation well, didn't call the police or anything. She called my mother and my uncle to ask for advice. They both basically said, "What are you calling us for? We're 500 miles away, call the damn cops." Well, he came back 3 hours later, after having driven his golf cart NINE MILES into town and back on the highway to buy flowers. My grandma basically said, oh well. It's almost as if she wants him to get hit in the road so she won't have to deal with it anymore.

Well, his doctors here in Michigan told Grandma that he needed to be institutionalized again. So, on that Sunday, my aunt and cousin who live out there tried to get him in the car to take him to a psych ward in Scranton. Before they could, he locked himself in the shed, threatening to kill himself. The cops had to be called, and he was forcefully taken away in an ambulance. He's been in the ward ever since.

This situation is causing major strife in my family, between my grandma and my mom and her siblings. Already, factions are forming, and people are getting angry. There is a lot of resentment towards my grandmother because she is not making the best decisions. Also, my mom and uncles, who live here in Michigan, really resent my aunt out east because she has not come to help them with the situation, and somewhat wanted not to have to make those tough decisions because she wanted to be "the good child," or his favorite for once in her life. Well, now that he's out there, she's finally just realizing what most of us here have known for years: that this situation sucks and has no good solutions. She's having a fit over the way he's behaving, but the fact is that we've been dealing with this for 2 years now. At Thanksgiving last year, which was here at Brian's and my house, he could barely stand up and was incomprehensible. This has been an almost constant thing.

I have my opinions on the subject, the main one being that he should never leave the hospital. He's threatening violence and is in very bad physical shape. My mom doesn't want to accept this, and and I understand. It's her father. But no matter what happens, I am very worried what this could do to our family. I do not want this to split us apart forever.