Please Help Natasha!

So, today being the last day of November, it is also the last day of National Adoption Month.  I hope you all read my earlier post and took it to heart!

Recently on my FRUA Families for Russian and Ukranian Adoption) Facebook page, this little girl was profiled as needing a home.  The woman who posted the entry is Russian and is a volunteer with a foundation there to help abandoned children.  Everyone who has met this little girl says she is an absolute joy.  She's had some VERY serious medical needs, but is doing very well after having numerous surgeries and is cognitively just fine!  I cannot stop thinking about her, wishing I could go scoop her up and bring her home.  But I can't.  I cannot save every Russian orphan, unfortunately.  So, in an effort to help find her a home, I'm posting about her here.  If you can help with a donation through Reece's Rainbow (tax deductible) or know somebody who may be interested, please spread the word and/or contact the agency she's offered through, HAPS New Jersey International Adoption Agency.  Or you could even email the woman who posted about her, Natalia Zimina at sobachka02@yahoo.com.

So, without further adieu, here is a link to Natasha's profile (her nickname is Tera!).  Please help if you can!

http://reecesrainbow.org/28060/tera

Please, Consider Adoption!

As I sit here and write (for the second time in a month!), my kids are upstairs sleeping.  Sleeping, in their warm beds, with food in their bellies, clean from a bath, knowing, finally, that they are loved.  Some people would say they're lucky. I say we're lucky to have them--we got the family we wanted.  But there are many children in the world who DON'T have the family they want.

We've had the kids home 9 months, and just hit our one year anniversary of meeting them, and November is National Adoption Month.   These things are making me very introspective about the journey we went through, and about all the children who got left behind.  And there are LOTS of them.

Here are some sobering statistics.  In the U.S. alone, there are over 500,000 in foster care, several hundred thousand of which are available for adoption.  At least 13 million children worldwide are true orphans, without the care of either parent or any family members.  In Russia, where our children were born, there are over 700,000 children in need of a family, most for social reasons.  SEVEN HUNDRED THOUSAND--and Russia has half the population of the US.  Russia is one of the top three countries from which Americans bring home children, the other two being China and Ethiopia. 

The fact is, nothing good awaits these children in other countries if they are not adopted.  These countries have no social safety net, and there's no way to get an education there without a family.  Once the kids age out of the system, they are pretty much invisible people.  The most recent stats I read for Russia stated that every year, 10,000 children age 16 or 17 leave Russian orphanages.  85% of those children turn to crime, drugs, and prostitution.  500 every year commit suicide because of the hopelessness.  I would bet my life savings that the statistics are not much better for China and Ethiopia.  And, the fact is, its not much better here for kids who leave foster care.  

So, my plea is--PLEASE CONSIDER ADOPTION.  Whether it be domestic infant (there's a special need for homes for minority children!), U.S. foster care, or international, children need homes.  Yes, most adoptions cost money (U.S. foster care adoptions are generally free), but I'm sure, honestly, many people could evaluate their lifestyle and realize they have a lot more than they realize.  How many lattes do you drink a week? Or energy drinks? How many trips do you take?  Do you feel the need to have a new car every 2 or 3 years?  These things may seem important, but they're not.  Not when you think about the fact you literally could be saving a life.  And I can tell you from experience, I cannot imagine loving kids more than I love these kids.  Every person I've ever talked to who has bio kids and adopted kids has told me there's absolutely no difference in the love for an adopted child vs. a bio kid.  From the moment these kids were brought to us in a hotel room at 9 am on a Tuesday in Arkhangelsk, Russia, they were mine. 

So, before I get off my soapbox, here are  few links to different websites.

Our agency, Adoption Associates, does both domestic infant and International.

http://www.adoptionassociates.net/

Bethany Christian Services is another well respected agency that does both domestic and international.

http://www.bethany.org/

For info on U.S. Foster adoptions, check out the link below or talk to your state Department of Social Services.

http://www.adoptuskids.org/

Fall Fun

And AGAIN, it's been two months since I wrote something here. Absolutely pathetic. I REALLY need to make it a point to do this at least once a month. I always have something to say, of course. It's just sitting down and finding the time to do it!

We've been having a great fall so far. The kids are doing awesome. We're soooo busy though, before I know it, it'll be Thanksgiving (which we may host this year) and then the kids' first Christmas! So excited for that! Aaaahhh, can't get ahead of myself.

So, what we've been up to consists of this:
Monday morning, T has pre-school. She is still doing awesome, from what her teachers are saying. They love her.
Tuesday morning, T has dance. She loves it and smiles from ear to ear the whole time she's in the studio. It's so freaking cute.
Wednesday morning, T has school and C has library story time. I like going to the library, but the part he likes the best is the music stuff and the playing after. I have to remember, HE IS TWO. (Although now, closer to THREE!)
Thursday, our free day of the week.
Friday, T has school and C has gymnastics, which he has taken to like a duck to water. His teacher says the things he can do already are NOT typical of a child his age, i.e., he has excellent motor skills and coordination.
Most Saturdays, I go to yoga class (thank god) and Brian takes the kids into town to go to Great Harvest Bread Company to buy our yummy loaf for the week. Double Cinnamon Chip makes PHENOMENAL French toast on Sunday mornings.

So, we are a pretty busy bunch. Almost every weekend from mid-September through October was/is too busy for my yoga (bummer) and then B has all his hunting stuff in November. Grrrrr...... Also, B still does travel, quite a bit at times, so sometimes I'm totally solo. That's why all of Cola's activities are at times when Tania's at school. I have to participate with him in these things because of his age, and there's no place for her, you know? If he has to come to her dance class, its fine, because I have to wait outside with the other moms and look through the glass windows anyway. So, he could play or run up and down the hallway (it's in an enclosed strip mall type place) for the 45 minutes.

Have a great fall y'all! (Cheesy, I know).

Summer Fun!

HOLY CRAP I DIDN'T REALIZE ITS BEEN OVER 2 MONTHS SINCE I WROTE.

I am a pathetic blogger. I have friends who have kids smaller than mine who post every week! I feel like a LOSER. :) But honestly, as you fellow Moms know, its hard to get much done during the day that involves 5 minutes to yourself, and at night, I generally either just want to watch TV with Brian or go to bed.

Also, its been a super busy summer, which for us is a good thing. I know summers are normally chaotic, but we've had a structured one, with quite a few activities. Tania has been in school 2 days a week all summer, Tuesday and Friday morning, and she's doing AWESOME. She loves it and they are really great with her. After Labor Day, I'm going to start her in 3 mornings a week, which is a fairly typical 4 year old schedule. I really hope she'll be ready for kindergarten in a year.

Cola has had his LESA playgroup for most of the summer and also a few field trips to different places, like petting zoos and things. On Tuesday, he took his first horse back ride and loved it! He also chased around a potbellied pig named Boris (how ironic!). He and I WERE going to story time once a week at Borders, but alas, that's no more. I think I'm going to check out the Community Ed and look for a class to register him for (like tumbling or something, the boy has boundless energy for jumping and thumping) and maybe dance for her. I think those would be fun. Next Spring/Summer, I definitely want them in swim class, since Cola fell in my mom's pool a while back and was bobbing up and down like a buoy. Luckily, their Uncle Grant literally vaulted in there and grabbed him right away. But they both still love the pool!

Tania did great since her dental work and eye surgeries. She is SO beautiful. I mean, she was always beautiful to us, but now, wow, she's a knockout. And he is the cutest little poop ever to live, everybody says so. He's still so tiny though, but we're starting to think that's just him! So, we're just updating all their shots and I'm trying not to fret about it anymore.

Okay, since Brian's gone camping, I really just want to get some rest, because of course they'll have me up at 6 am tomorrow or something. I really will try to post more for my loyal followers! Ha!

Just the Three of Us...

So, Brian is gone this entire week. He won't be home until Friday morning. This is the longest he's left the kids and I in the nearly four months we've been home. I'm both anxious and calm about it. Anxious because it's a long time for him to be gone and me to be alone with the kiddos all on my own, but also calm because I know everything'll be okay. I just know that when ge gets home, I'll immediately want to turn them over to him! Ha ha. But, we have a fairly busy week. Tomorrow, my aunt Margaret is coming to visit. She hasn't seen us since she stayed when Tania was sickly the first time he left us. They are so different, WE are so different. I think she's going to be shocked! Tuesday is Cola's playgroup, and Wednesday our social worker is coming for our first official post placement visit. I think she's gojng to be very pleased with what she sees!

As you can tell, things are a TON better around here. I think we're through most of our transition. It was short but traumatic! At one month in, I felt like a crazy person, at two months, I was starting to see the light at the tunnel, and three months in, I let out a huge sigh of relief and thought, "Wow, this is gotten pretty good!". And now, we're four months in, and I love these little monsters so much! Cola is the sweetest little boy and Tania is such a beautiful, smart little girl it's scary! I'm so excited for her to start pre-school in a week. I think she's going to thrive. She seems excited and she can start in some catch up learning.

Time to sign off and watch some "Game of Thrones" since the kids are sleeping!

Happy Mother's Day to Me!!!

Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms out there! I myself had a great day. We had breakfast out at IHOP and the kids did great, then I cleaned my upstairs (I know, cleaning on Mom's Day? Well, it makes me happy), and then grocery shopping BY MYSELF. Then, played outside with the kids and Brian and had a delicious barbecue dinner. A good day!

Lots of stuff has been going on here, and it's pretty much all good! The kids sleeping is doing GREAT. Cola is sleeping through the night every night an average of 9.5-10.5 hours with a good nap in the afternoon, and Tania is sleeping through the vast majority of nights about 10-11 hours, so Brian and I finally feel rested again, and like a couple again, as we have some time to spend by ourselves. Also, Cola's been doing a playgroup through the county for 2 year olds, and I think its great. He's also getting speech once a month, and the therapist thinks he'll catch up wonderfully! Tania is starting preschool after Memorial Day, and I'm super excited about that--I think she'll thrive. At that point, she'll be evaluated for speech and other services through the school district. We think they're both doing awesome with it! They never shut up. We don't catch everything that they say, but they are vocalizing like crazy, whether it's English, Russian or gibberish and that's half the battle.

The few bad/anxious things going on are that Tania is having her major dental work done Tuesday. I am VERY nervous about it, both how she's going to do and having to leave Cola. He's going to stay with our neighbor for the morning, and he knows her and her two daughters well now, but it's the first time we're leaving either one of them with anyone. So, it's going to be an anxious morning for me. The other thing is that we found out recently that Cola is EXTREMELY iron deficient/anemic. He had some of the worst numbers the pediatrician had ever seen. So, he's on a very high dose of iron now, which makes his diapers pretty interesting. I'll stop right there. :)

I have more to say, but I'll save it for another post!

I'm Not Trying to Count My Chickens....

BUT, it feels like we've hit a MAJOR turning point here with the sleep issue!!!

So those of you who are on Facebook with me know that Cola has magically started taking naps in his own bed. It actually wasn't magical--it was me reading a book on sleep, and figuring out his cues and that he has a fairly strong internal body clock. He's ready for a nap right around 7 hours after waking, maybe sooner if we have an active morning. I've learned not to miss the nap window so he doesn't get too wound up and then not want to fall asleep. Also, I feel that this HAS to mean he's feeling more comfortable too, in his big bed, that he can fall asleep there. Unless you've dealt with a child who doesn't go down easily, you can't understand how much it means that I don't have to drive him around every day, especially with gas hitting possibly $5 a gallon. You have to lay with him to get him to go down, but since we figured it out, it's not taken more than 15 minutes! When we were first home, it would take an hour of screaming to get him to go down for less than an hour nap. So, I'll take 15 minutes for an hour and a half or more nap! Yay!!! The next step would be to get him to sleep independently at night, but that may take time. He's still so little and he can't communicate much yet (but more all the time!), that sometimes he just wakes up and cries.

NEXT--TANIA SLEPT IN HER OWN BED LAST NIGHT WITHOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been preparing her for this, that this is what big girls do, and that Mama is always close by and will come if she calls, etc. Last night, I was feeling really patient, honestly, and for some reason, it just felt like "the night." So, I told her it was time for that. She didn't protest, but wasn't thrilled, either. I explained that if she woke up, her drink was on her bedside table, she could call for me, or could come and get me in my room, etc. It took her almost 2 hours to fall asleep, she was so nervous. Finally, at 9:45 pm, with several false starts, she was out. I hardly slept a wink, I was so nervous myself about how this was going to go. I expected HUGE screams. She woke up at 2 am and called to me, and I went immediately. She wasn't hysterical, which is GREAT. She had her drink and went right back to sleep. (I wish I could have!) She then woke up at 5:30, and was slightly more agitated, but not bad. I took her to the bathroom and then showed her where I'd been sleeping in "Mama and Papa bed" and then we went back to her room. I tried to leave after she dozed off, but she immediately woke up. So, I decided it wasn't worth leaving and laid down with her until 7. I am running on empty today, but it feels great. Now that I know she CAN do this, life seems good. I am excited for tonight, as she seems pretty proud of herself today and we've had a great day so far!

So, that's the big news I promised this morning. To many of you, this may not seem like a big deal, but trust me, when you've dealt with this sort of issue, you'll understand!

Fun Stuff!

We've been home a little over two months now and I realize all my blog posts have been "Oh woe is me, this is so hard, etc, etc." So, I figure I should make a post about the fun stuff we've been doing/learning to show it's not all doom and gloom in the Nault house!

Our guest room has officially become Tania's room, which wasn't what we intended, but I guess, what's the big deal right? I hung a decorative plaque in there with her name and birthday on it that says "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, do you know how loved you are?" It's pink and was a gift from our friends Steve and Nancy Moriarty from Indy. Cola has one too that's blue that I want to get up! Brian and I also hung light blocking curtains in both of their rooms, hers are bright pink and his are navy blue, which work perfectly color-wise with what they like, bedding, etc. I am still sleeping in there with her, which is okay. She's been doing GREAT lately with sleeping, consistently better all the time. For example, two nights ago I got up to check on Brian and Cola and left her and she woke up. She didn't scream for once, she just called out to me twice! It was great! Then, she and I went to Brian and Cola's room and she kissed Brian on the head and we went back to bed. It took her awhile to fall back asleep, but that's normal. I sang to her. We do that every night, singing, that is. It used to be "Twinkle Twinkle," now its "Hush Little Baby" with a line about a pizza pie in it, so she calls it "Pizza Pizza." It's funny. Cola's crib has been turned into his full sized bed and he and Brian are in there, so at least they're out of our bedroom! That's honestly really nice to be able to go in my bedroom after they're sleeping and put my PJ's on, brush my teeth, shower if I want, etc. Cola is still sleeping crappy, but such is life. It's gonna take awhile. He just can't express what's going on in his little head and it keeps him up, I think.

The kids love their new playroom (which used to be our formal living room). We've gated it off from our dining room, which is my sanctuary/office. I think its going to work well for a long time. We play with the ball hut (gift from the Fontanas!), play with blocks, do puzzles (which Tania appears to be getting good at), do tickling and horsey rides. It's just nice to get the toys out of our family room, so when Brian and I sit down to watch TV at night, we don't have to look at that crap!

I seriously wish the weather would get warmer consistently. It was SO NICE for those two days, we were outside half the day and they had a blast running around and playing on the neighbors playscape. They slept so well on those nights! We also have had a blast visiting friends and going to the mall and BounceU to play. I am going to start taking them to story time at the Library and Borders, but this morning just didn't feel right. We got a late start and it would have been rushed. Maybe next time on Friday.

So that's what up here after two months! We can't believe its been that long!

Sleepless in Michigan!

But hopefully not forever!

The title of this blog actually refers to the kids, not necessarily Brian and I. We're doing okay, because adults can survive on 6 or 7 hours of sleep. But kids at age 2 and 3 cannot survive on 9 or 10. It's simply too little. So, I sought some advice on this subject from an expert we've met at our support group meetings.

From what we've read, these issues we're having (having to lay with them, them unable to fall asleep for long periods of time, frequent waking, not sleeping long enough or consistently) are totally common for new adoptees. Sleep is the most frequent reason post adopting families seek help. She actually stated that given the trauma, upheaval and fright our children experienced for the first 2 and 3.5 years of their lives, it could be a lot worse. Right now, I am still sleeping with Tatiana and Brian deals with Nicholas. Cindy, the psychologist, stated that we have a good strategy right now and are doing all the right things. She endorsed our plan to turn Cola's crib into his full sized bed and for him and Brian to sleep in there, instead of our bed. I need to keep doing what I'm doing. Then, we can EVENTUALLY transition ourselves out. But, that can't happen and this situation won't improve until they feel really comfortable and totally trust us, which can honestly take up to a year, as Cindy informed me. That is a bit daunting, but we have to be in this for the long haul. And bedtime will continue to be a long process for us, so don't expect to see Brian or I out at night for ages. Bye bye social life!

Cindy reassured me that this WILL get better. Like I said, the LONG HAUL. We haven't even been home 2 months, I keep reminding myself! It feels like a lot longer, quite honestly. I am so happy that the weather is breaking and we can get them outside. After being outside, Cola has shown signs of wanting to lay down in the living room and maybe go to sleep on his own, but Tania bothers him!! It's so frustrating. Hopefully, when they're BOTH out running a ton consistently, she go down for some quiet time/nap so he can too and I can quit wasting gas in the darn car every day!

If any of you care to look, here's a really good website I found that lays these issues out really well and explains why this happens with adoptees.

www.adoptmed.org/topics/sleep-and-adoption.html

Thanks for the support all!

More than One Month Home!

So, I meant to do an update when we hit one month home, which was February 26, but things have been nutty. So, now it's more like, 5 and a half weeks home! Things are slowly adjusting, but it's still hard, honestly. But, it is getting better. I'm starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but it's very dim and far away!

The past week was challenging, as Brian had to travel for 3 nights for his first trip away. He had to go to Copenhagen, Denmark, of all places and it ended up being a total disaster here. The kids had their first round of shots the day he left (a DTAP, Hib, and Pneumococcal), plus a TB test. Tania had a very bad reaction and had a high fever. I was up all night with her, and Cola was up part of the night too, because she was crying so much. I felt so bad, there was nothing I could do. The Motrin didn't touch the fever for quite a while. She kept crying in Russian that she was hot, had boo boos, and hurt. It was awful. I had to call in reinforcements--my awesome aunt Margaret came down and stayed with me quite a bit to act as back up. It helped tremendously. Now, Brian is telling me he has to be gone one night this week again, and I am irritated. I thought he wasn't going to travel much for a long time! Lies. At least the kids' TB test came out negative, but that gives us another reason not to trust the immunization records we were given. You see, in Europe and other countries like Russia, there is a shot they give kids that is sort of like a TB vaccination. And if you've had this shot, your TB should come out positive because you'll have antibodies. We were told the kids had this shot. Well, clearly they haven't if their TB came out negative. So, we are starting the vaccines totally over from scratch, but with Tania, we'll have to take it slowly to avoid another night like Monday.

Sleeping is still our biggest issue here. They just give us a hard time going down, we have to be with them until they fall asleep, which can take a long time, and its not until 8:30-9pm. Then, they don't sleep very long, maybe 10 hours is the consistent average, which for kids their age is not enough. The only way to get them to nap is riding in the car, so I'm going to be spending the summer of high gas prices driving my kids around aimlessly and throwing money out the window. Tania is doing better with the sleeping--she's getting a lot more peaceful, hardly restless anymore, which is wonderful. Cola is bothered by something and we can't figure out what. He just wakes up quite a bit. Right now, she still sleeps with me in the guest room bed, and now Cola seems to want to sleep in our room with Brian. So, instead of ME in bed with my husband, there's a tiny little boy there. And we bought and were gifted all this nice, expensive furniture for them, and guess what? NOBODY'S SLEEPING IN IT.

So, that's what's going on here. Keep us in your thoughts as we continue to adjust to life with them, and they adjust to us!

Doctor's Appointment

On Tuesday, we made the long journey downtown to Children's Hospital at the DMC to have the kids fully evaluated medically. The appointment was at 9am and we had to leave this house at 7:20 to make it there on time. Which sucked, because we had to wake the kids up early, and they were having their best night of sleep yet. Also, on the way down, Tatiana completely upchucked all over herself in the car, so that was pleasant to deal with. Half digested yogurt and bananas, yuck. :(

We made it to Children's and got in with the doc about 9:20, I think. The front desk seriously didn't know how to run our private, excellent health insurance, because I'd be willing to bet all they deal with is freaking Medicaid (the Adoption Clinic is run out of one of the general pediatric clinics there, and the clientele seemed, let's say, ghetto fabulous).

The appointment lasted 2 hours. The doctor was very thorough, as she should be. She asked us every question under the sun, measured them a ton, and gave them full physicals. She was generally pleased with the state of their health, and with the things we've been doing with them. She also has twin sons adopted from Kazakhstan, so she totally understands what we're going through. Cola is in good shape overall, he's just tiny. He's not even on the growth chart. He is 2 now, and is the size of an average 12 month old here. Little lady Tania is good sized, but has issues like decayed teeth, a lazy eye, and something called funnel chest/pectalis, which means her chest, right in between where her breasts will be, is concave. This will most likely resolve itself, but it may not. They are most likely also developmentally delayed, and I have the school district working on coming out to evaluate them. They are certainly emotionally stunted. We're working on that.

Also, they had a ton of blood work ton. She took it like a rock star, but he screamed like a banshee. It was awful. It was 1:45 by the time we got out of Children's. We also have to do a urinalysis and a fecal test (3 times for the poop) to check for parasites. Fun for Heather and Brian. But these guys need to be checked for every little thing.

So, that's what happened with the doctor's appointment. Things are rolling. I honestly think taking them to medical appointments and getting out of this house may help our mood!

Thank You All...

For the tremendous support I got from my last blog update. To all of you who emailed me, or Facebooked me, sorry I haven't replied in person, but this blog entry is hard enough to get done. All of you that wrote sent lovely messages of support and offers to call you. Trust me, I may take some of you up on that at some point. Right now, I'm calling people who've specifically been through an adoption process, because they have the most insight into the specific things we're dealing with. I'm having a very bad day today, so writing this short blurb hopefully will help me stay sane.

The sleeping is not going much better, but at least the jet lag is over, I think. The white noise helps them go to sleep somewhat, but it only lasts 90 minutes on my iPod, so Brian ordered a white noise machine that we can play all night. I think that may help. They both are still waking repeatedly, which could go on for months. Basically, our poor babies have never had anyone comfort them in the night, and now that's all they want for a while until they realize that we'll always be there if they need us. Nicholas is SO hard to get to sleep, and the stroller is the only thing that works fairly consistently. So, we're going to go with that. We have to meet him where he is. At least Tatiana hasn't had any more night terrors, but she thrashes and wails in her sleep. I think she's having nightmares. Poor thing. We're trying to remember what these babies have been through in their lives, which, at 3 and a half and 2, is more than most of us will ever have to endure. But, its still difficult to deal with when we're less than our best.

Food is also a huge issue. If they see food, they will scream and wail for it, even if they ate 5 minutes ago. Food preparation around them is a difficult situation. I think they've been hungry quite a bit in their lives and now are just craving food until they explode. This is common and takes time to subside. We've had to bungee cord my pantry shut so they don't get into stuff.

We do see improvement and we hold on to that. Her tantrums are getting better, as she seems to be getting more of what's expected of her behavior wise. A huge problem we have is sharing/sibling rivalry, but that's normal for any siblings. It'll take time. Also, we've had them since January 18, and we can already see them filling out. They are getting little bellies on them! We love that, since we could scarily see their ribs A LOT when they arrived to us. I think T will always be tall and thin, which is fine by me! I wish N would grow height wise a bit. We have the full eval at Children's Hospital downtown on Tuesday and we'll see how that goes. I think they're in pretty decent shape overall. Next step will be getting T treatment for her lazy eye. I talked to the Adoption Medicine specialist today and she was very encouraging. She has twins from Kazakhstan and she reassured me that everything we're dealing with is normal and will subside, but it could take months. So, we have to be in it for the long haul.

Thanks for the support and encouragement everyone. We know that in the near future we'll hopefully be able to look back at this and go, "Wow, that sucked, but we made it through." Hopefully, that's sooner rather than later!

Since You've Been Asking

Hi All. This will be a short post, but many of you have been asking how it's going, so I decided to try to give a blog update on our situation.

We are, of course, thrilled to have the kids home. We made it home on January 26, barely avoiding the storm that hit the east coast, which we are grateful for. It was a very difficult day, though. On an 11 hour flight from Moscow to NYC, the kids slept less than 2 hours. So, they were exhausted and we were exhausted. It was 10 pm by the time we got home, and we put them to bed. Then, the jet lag you all have been hearing about on Facebook hit. I think that's getting a bit better, thank goodness. However, due to other issues, we are still not sleeping in the Nault household and may not for a while.

The kids wake up repeatedly in the middle of the night. This is not uncommon for adopted kids. They are in a totally different environment, after having experienced a lot of trauma in their lives. Nicholas (nickname Cola) wakes up and takes a long time to fall back asleep. Hopefully the white noise I downloaded will help. It helped them fall asleep last night. Tatiana (nickname Tania) also wakes frequently, but more importantly,experiences ferocious night terrors. It's awful. Last night we thought she was going to kill herself by accident. She was jumping up on her bed and throwing herself down repeatedly. We thought she was going to hit her head and die. This lasted for 40 minutes, then she did it again, albeit shorter and quieter, 2 hours later. Brian and I thought she was going psychotic, until we called a few people this morning and found out that this is not uncommon. Awful, but not uncommon. Ugh. Hopefully this will wane as she gets comfortable in her new home and environment.

Also, she has terrible tantrums in the day, up to 6-8 times a day, mostly we feel due to us not being able to understand her when she talks and her not being able to understand us. I feel really badly for her, but we also have to set limits. It is not okay for her to hit me or bite Brian. I feel badly because Nicholas is not at all getting the attention he deserves, but I guess it is still much better than being in an orphanage, right?

There are other issues going on too, but that's the major stuff. I feel its important to be honest and not sugarcoat this stuff. We've been honest about everything we've dealt with thus far, so this post is a continuation of that. Hopefully soon, I'll be able to post that things are getting better. To all of you whom I've called and cried to, thanks a lot.

THREE WEEKS!!

I cannot believe that in THREE WEEKS the kids will be home! We leave a week from Saturday and will be home January 26! It is so nutty around here trying to get everything together. Brian's been installing baby gates, I'm getting paperwork together, and I need him to help me organize their room and put a bunch of toys downstairs. Everyone has been so generous with clothes and toys that some of the toys need to be put away and taken out slowly. These kids are NOT used to having an abundance of things and it can really overstimulate them. That's also why we did not decorate the room very much. Decoration can come with time! Also, thanks to Holly and Jill, I have full drawers for Nicholas and TWO sacks of too big clothes in the closet for when he grows! We also have plenty of clothes for her right now, thanks to my lovely aunts Holli and Margaret, and it'll be cheaper and easier buying for one kid on down the line than both of them!

I am SO NERVOUS, but obviously excited too. Hopefully, now that this blog is linked to Facebook, I'll be motivated to post more in the new year. The kids themselves will provide motivation too--everyone wants to see pictures! I can't wait until I can oblige all of your numerous photo requests!!

Things I Learned in Russia

I know everyone wants to hear about the trip, and there are some things we can discuss and other things that we really can't. I hope you all understand that. So, in light of that, I decided to do a quick rundown of lessons learned from the trip, both silly and serious!

1) I need to invest in whatever stores or companies sell women's knee high black boots in Russia! Seriously, they are the footwear of choice of every freaking woman there between the ages of 10-40, and even people younger and older! I seriously saw a 5 year old wearing them. If you go to Russia and want to fit in, wear your "hooker boots" and a short black skirt, and you're good to go.

2) I learned I can pee in a hole in the ground if I need to! Seriously. The toilet at the airport going to Kotlas (the town where the kids are) was a sink basin sunk into the ground. I ended up stripping from the waist down and then squatting. I stripped because I had a huge fear of peeing all over my pants, and then I would be screwed. I figured if it went down my leg, I could clean that up! Sorry if this is gross, but its true. Brian warned me, so I was somewhat prepared at least. :)

3) Sanitation standards in Russia are not what they are here. Sometimes there's soap, sometimes not. Sometimes the toilet flushes well, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes there's paper, other times, no. And the paper they did have--well, it hurts your bum and they don't flush the paper. I guess the pipes can't handle it. So, there's a trash can next to every toilet and there goes the paper. It's gross. Sorry, I can't wrap my brain around that one.

4) I can fly in crazy small planes and not get sick or scared. The last plane we took was a 21 seater double propeller Soviet era thing, where your luggage just goes in the back of the plane, and the cockpit is wide open. No lie. It was INTERESTING, to say the least.

Now, onto more serious things....

5) The orphanage was a lot nicer than we thought it would be, and the workers, the doctors, nurses and caregivers, really care about the children. They absolutely want the best for them. It was reassuring. And everything we'd been told about the kids 100% seemed to be true, everything seems completely above board.

6) Regarding their surroundings, they kids are definitely not kept in cribs all day and ignored like some of the stories you've heard. It's just not true. They have music and art and exercise and playtime. They also get a decent diet, not as much fruit and dairy as we'd like, but it's nutritious and there's enough of it. So that's also reassuring.

7) Can't say too much about the kids, but I learned it is completely possible to get super attached to kids you only met 3 times. It was sad, so much sadder than we thought, to leave them. Now I'm frantically trying to get paperwork done to speed the process as much as possible. But, just so you know, we won't be going back until January or February. Unfortunately.

8) So this is really fun to announce to everyone, not really something I learned, just an announcement. Our daughter is going to be Tatiana Louise and our son will be Nicholas Brian! The first names are Americanized versions of their Russian names and the middle names are for my mom (she's Marie Louise) and for Brian, of course. :)

9) The last thing I learned was this--we have a CRAP TON of baby proofing to do! OMG--we are bringing two small Tasmanian devil like creatures into our house in the near future. :) Let's hope the house survives it! Oh, and us too. :)

California Vacay

So, I realize I'm again a bit behind on my blog. So, I've decided to at least catch myself up in the next week or two on the trips I've taken recently! With pictures, for reals!

I went to visit my good friend from Western, Ruth. She and I rarely get to see each other, but when we do, it's like we were just together yesterday! I left on July 15 (Brian's and my anniversary, trust me, I took crap for that one!). My flight out of Flint was super early in the morning, which meant I was literally up BEFORE the butt crack of dawn. And, seeing as how I always get travel anxiety, particularly when I go by myself, I LITERALLY didn't sleep a single minute that night. So, at 6:45 am, after getting no shut eye, I was on my way to Minneapolis for my connection. I managed to sleep a little on that plane, thank goodness, and got to Minneapolis just fine. I had a delicious breakfast (Minneapolis is a great airport for food), and left for San Jose, where Ruth lives.

I also managed to sleep a bit on my second plane, so by the time I got there at 11:30 am Cali time, I was at least a little coherent. Ruth came and got me and I was so excited to see her! Yay! We cruised back to the Radle residence, where her husband John, son Nathan (who I hadn't seen since he was a baby and he's now 5 and a half) and daughter Hannah (age 1, who I'd never met!) were waiting! A few members of the Radle clan had dentist appointments that afternoon, which actually worked fine, as I went and took a nap in the "Executive shed." Yes, I said SHED.

The "Executive Shed" is maybe the funnest place to sleep EVER. When Ruth's dad and late mom bought the house when Ruth started college, it had this toolshed in the back that they didn't need. Seeing as how the house is a modest California ranch, they could really use that extra space. So, Mr. Stephens' brilliance came through--they converted the approximately 7 by 20 foot shed into basically a guesthouse, with air conditioning and electricity, etc. But, here's the kicker--no plumbing. So, if I had to go potty, I had to walk all of 30 feet across the lawn and go in the house. No biggie. The lack of plumbing is pretty advantageous from a property tax standpoint, because if it had plumbing, it would actually be considered a guesthouse, and Ruth and John's taxes would go up a ton! Way to go, Mr. Stephens!

So, the rest of Thursday we hung out and made a quick trip to the mall with Nathan, and Friday, Ruth and I took the kids to a place called "Happy Hollow." It's this place owned by the City of San Jose that's like a petting zoo/tiny amusement part for very young kids. We had a blast with the kids, Nathan and I went on a ride called the Frog Hopper together, we did the train, and took them to the petting zoo. It was a ton of fun and a great place for families! Then, later that day, Ruth and I went shopping and sight seeing in this nearby town called Los Gatos (which means The Cats, and yes, they have cats on some of the signs in town). This is the sort of place that one should not bother trying to buy a house in unless they have seven figures to spend. And then you might still get a dump. It has cool and eclectic shops downtown of all types. Very cool! Ruth then took me all around San Jose and showed me the school at which she's an Assistant Principal, Quimby Middle School. One day, she WILL be superintendent of the district, I guarantee it!

On Saturday, Ruth and I went into San Francisco! It was cold at first, which is typical, but then turned into an absolutely beautiful day, which is rare! Ruth said it was one of the best days she'd seen in the city. We hung out at Pier 39 at Fisherman's Wharf, went to Ghiardelli Square and had chocolate, ate lunch at the Hard Rock so I could get Brian a shot glass (he collects them), and then we drove over the Golden Gate Bridge so I could get pics. What a view! It was clear enough to see Alcatraz! (Which I cannot wait to do when we go back!). By that point, I was totally exhausted, and we went home. The next morning, I had to get up and leave pretty early.

All in all, it was a wonderful weekend and I psyched to see my old friend. I need to get out there more often! Now for some pics:

View of the City from the north end of the Golden Gate Bridge. It's rarely that clear out!











Me in front of the Hard Rock Cafe. Cheesy I know, but it had to be done.











And finally, the famous sea lions at Fisherman's Wharf!

So Much To Do, Even With No Work

Wow, so much stuff is going on these days! Despite being off work for probably the months of July and August, I have been going, going, going! While Brian's at softball tonight (I skipped due to my dislike of being rained on), I thought I'd let you all know what's been going on!

We did get the furniture for the kids and it's all in the room and set up. If I had bedding, tiny little Russian babies could sleep in it tonight. On one wall, there's the crib and nightstand we bought, along with a toddler bed donated from our friends the Hills (tons of thanks to them!). On the other wall is the tall 5 drawer dresser and a tall 3 shelf bookcase. SO EXCITING. I literally go in there 5 times a day and look at it, pull out the drawers, and walk to the crib and imagine taking a small person out of it. Sappy I know, but I think these are the things that pregnant moms do, and I am pregnant in the only way I'll ever really experience it. So, I'm indulging myself in all those things and NOT FEELING BADLY ABOUT IT. :) My next project is to buy some bedding for the beds and start decorating. My wonderful friend, frequent reader A, has graciously volunteered to make me some sort of quilt for the children (I'M SUPER EXCITED), and I'll be going to see her soon to pick out fabric. I actually need to talk to her about this, because I don't know exactly what she has in mind, and I need to know before I buy bedding. So, A, if you're reading this--CALL ME. (When the stuff regarding Grandma is settled, of course. Hope you're doing well.)

Fourth of July weekend was pretty quiet, which is fine for me, but I think Brian was bored. He felt left out of other parties, etc. He truly feels that certain folks are not inviting us places anymore because we don't have kids. I feel other factors are in play, and it doesn't bother me as much as it does him. But he hates being bored, so he was a bit crabby that weekend. Plus, his parents were ill and canceled on having dinner with us on Saturday, so he was upset at that too (they don't come down often and he was excited). Poor guy. He's having a bit of a hard time lately. It was very nice to have the Meese's over for dinner though. We truly enjoy having company, so please come visit us people! I also baby sat Oliver Meese this morning while Candace went to the doctor and he is my favorite (and only) godson, as always! Then Candace and I had a very nice lunch at Applebee's, in which Ollie squealed his favorite word "Eeewww!" the whole time and flirted with waitresses. Typical man. :)

Finally, the other stuff I have going on is that a week from today I'm leaving to visit Ruth in California! It's going to be so much fun! I've only been to visit her out there once and only get to see her probably once every couple years, so this is great. I can't wait to see Nathan again and meet Hannah, who's a year old. I'm going Thursday through Sunday and then the Sunday after that, Brian and I leave for our week of vacation in the UP again! We're camping with my fam again Grand Marais Sunday through Wednesday, then two nights on Drummond Island, finished with two nights on Mackinac with the Meeses! We plan to ride our bikes as much as possible and just relax! I think my husband needs it, and I hope we get some more awesome pictures!

June Fun-ness!

So, here I am blog, back visiting you after a pretty long period of ignoring you. Let's see if I can keep the visits at a more regular pace from now on, but there are no guarantees! I'm here to tell you about the fun I've been having throughout the month of June!

1) Brian and I were in Mayville a lot for a few weeks--Grant graduated June 6 and then his Open House was June 12. Both events went off without a hitch, but it was weird to me on many levels. It was weird to be in the gym at Mayville High School again, weird to be in that buildings. I DO NOT miss it. Weird to see people I went to high school with that have 10 year old children, etc. Grant's class was only 73 kids, as opposed to mine, which was 95. People are just bolting that town, nobody's left around that has any sort of decent job. Then, the next weekend was his Open House,which was like a big family reunion. All sorts of people I haven't seen in years where approaching me, saying things like, "Oh I hear you're a lawyer, oh I hear you're married!" Yeah, as in, I moved on with my life, folks. Mr. Fox, our 7th grade bio teacher was there (he's married to my mom's cousin), and he's been retired about 5 years now, and was very interested to hear what's up with people that I could tell him about, like frequent reader A, Kat, Michele, Holly, Mary, Kathy, etc. So that was fun.

2) MY BIRTHDAY WAS JUNE 13!!! It's the most wonderful day of the year! And this year, it was extra special because Season 3 of True Blood premiered that night too, so it was great! We had a few people over to barbecue and have DQ ice cream cake. Everything was delicious and I'm loving True Blood being back on for the summer! By Tuesday, I'm already hoping it was Sunday so I could watch another episode!

3) Jimmy Buffett's yearly concert at Pine Knob was Tuesday. We had a blast, other than dealing with a decided lack of bathrooms and Pine Knob parking Nazi's. Jimmy is always great fun and I love hearing those songs, dancing with Brian in the aisles (or on the lawn), and just enjoying the party. I was totally tired at work yesterday, but a good night's sleep puts a better shine on things today.

4) Finally, our kid furniture is getting delivered today between 1 and 4! I wish I could be there to see it right away, but I have to wait until late tonight, because Holly is having a Pampered Chef party right after I'm done with work. Oh, I want to see it so bad! It finally feels like small people should be in the house! Yay!

Dear Blog...

Dear Blog:

I know it seems as though I've totally forgotten about you. I'm sorry. I really do still love you, I'm just really, really busy with work right now. And when you're on a computer 8 hours a day at work, you sort of don't want to come home and visit your blog. Not much has been going on lately anyway, just work, work, work and normal life stuff. You're really not missing much. Plus, and don't be mad, I've been spending a lot of time with your cousin Facebook lately. No, that is NOT cheating! You and I DO NOT have a mutually exclusive relationship. I promise I'll get back with you soon, I hope you haven't been lonely. I really am not going to abandon you, I promise. Especially because once the kids are home (whenever THAT might be), I'll certainly have lots and lots of good things to tell you.

Some good things are coming up, so maybe I'll tell you about those in a few weeks--Grant's Open House, my birthday, then Fourth of July and Brian's and my vacation up north at the end of July. Hopefully I'll have good pictures to show you!

Take heart blog, and know that your owner still loves you.

My Current Obsessions

Instead of crying, whining, and generally being upset about the current state of our adoption proceedings (on hold according to some Russian officials, not on hold according to others--WTF?), I decided to take a page from Miss A, and do a positive/happy blog post! So, I'm going to let you all in on what's going on in this crazy head of mine, and tell you about my current obsessions.

1) The Sookie Stackhouse Novels/True Blood.
So, most of you probably know I'm a huge fan of HBO's "True Blood." I think it is the best Gothic soap opera to come out in a while, with hot, hot men in it to boot. As you probably know, its based on the "Southern Vampire Mysteries" by Charlaine Harris, aka the Sookie Stackhouse novels. Without getting into the plot (Read the books! Watch the show!), I have to say the books are as enjoyable as the show, despite differences between the two. I wasn't going to read the books, because I enjoy the show so much on it's own, but Brian got me the first 8 in a set for Christmas (yes, you read that correctly). I sat down and proceeded to read all eight of them straight through. And then, about 2 weeks ago, the 9th book came out on paperback and I immediately bought that and read it in 48 hours. I know, pathetic. But they are SO MUCH FUN! I've actually already read a couple of them, the ones that are my favorites, over again. I think I may need to get a life! But, when I think about getting a life, I remember book #10 is coming out in May in hardcover, and I think I may need a Sookie/Bill/Eric/Sam fix by then!

2) Lady Gaga. My Lady Gaga obsession actually ties into my True Blood obsession if you can believe it. Alexander Skarsgard, who plays smokin' hot vampire Eric on TB, plays Gaga's boyfriend in the "Paparazzi" video, and when they are talking to each other in Swedish and kissing in bed, I really want to BE HER. (Sorry honey, its just a fantasy). I also just want to be her in general, actually, but just for a short period of time, like a week. As you know, I'm a pretty plain, non-showy kind of gal, and she is the EXACT OPPOSITE. And I admire that. She dresses how she wants, sings what she wants, does what she wants and expressed herself. I actually feel like there's a side of my personality that's like that, but I've never had the confidence or proper scenario to show that. I wish for one day, I could wear outrageous false eyelashes, 6" platform boots and a bubble dress. Or, meet the Queen of England in red pleather. Like I said, I would just want to be Gaga for a short time and then go back to my nice quiet life. But I think that week or so would be a hell of a lot of fun!

3) Last, but not least, my Mom got Travis this super cute duckling for Easter and now I want one too. We were up there on Saturday and I was holding it, and petting it, and its possibly THE CUTEST THING EVER. It's about the size of a kitten right now, and fuzzy yellow, and it doesn't know how to quack yet, so it just goes, "Beep beep beep." It kept nibbling me and chewing my hair and generally acted about 110% on the cuteness scale. I know I can't have one, because I couldn't let it wander my yard like my folks can, we have too many critters that would eat it, but it makes me wish for the days when we have kids and they want bunny rabbits and stuff like I had as a kid!