Family Strife

So, unfortunately, my grandfather is not doing well. Many of you already know that he has bi-polar disorder, and was diagnosed with that almost 17 years ago, the summer I was 12. He had a complete break that summer, and was institutionalized for a long time that summer. At that time, he was put on lithium (a heavy duty anti-psychotic). The lithium worked well for him for about 15 years. However, about 2 years ago, he started showing signs that it was not working for him anymore. He would not sleep for days on end, get extremely excitable, and have screaming fits towards my grandmother. His doctors decided to try different meds, ones that had come onto the market more recently. The upshot is that none of them have worked for more than a few months at at time.

In the past year, he has had to be institutionalized again 3 times. The mental problems are starting to affect him physically. He will not eat, and currently weighs a whopping 120 pounds (and is about 5'9"). He got out of the psych ward earlier this spring and my grandma wanted to take him out to their cabin in Pennsylvania, near my aunt. They should not have gone.

A couple of weeks ago, he took off on their golf cart for several hours. My grandmother, who is not handling this situation well, didn't call the police or anything. She called my mother and my uncle to ask for advice. They both basically said, "What are you calling us for? We're 500 miles away, call the damn cops." Well, he came back 3 hours later, after having driven his golf cart NINE MILES into town and back on the highway to buy flowers. My grandma basically said, oh well. It's almost as if she wants him to get hit in the road so she won't have to deal with it anymore.

Well, his doctors here in Michigan told Grandma that he needed to be institutionalized again. So, on that Sunday, my aunt and cousin who live out there tried to get him in the car to take him to a psych ward in Scranton. Before they could, he locked himself in the shed, threatening to kill himself. The cops had to be called, and he was forcefully taken away in an ambulance. He's been in the ward ever since.

This situation is causing major strife in my family, between my grandma and my mom and her siblings. Already, factions are forming, and people are getting angry. There is a lot of resentment towards my grandmother because she is not making the best decisions. Also, my mom and uncles, who live here in Michigan, really resent my aunt out east because she has not come to help them with the situation, and somewhat wanted not to have to make those tough decisions because she wanted to be "the good child," or his favorite for once in her life. Well, now that he's out there, she's finally just realizing what most of us here have known for years: that this situation sucks and has no good solutions. She's having a fit over the way he's behaving, but the fact is that we've been dealing with this for 2 years now. At Thanksgiving last year, which was here at Brian's and my house, he could barely stand up and was incomprehensible. This has been an almost constant thing.

I have my opinions on the subject, the main one being that he should never leave the hospital. He's threatening violence and is in very bad physical shape. My mom doesn't want to accept this, and and I understand. It's her father. But no matter what happens, I am very worried what this could do to our family. I do not want this to split us apart forever.

I am PO'ed

Okay, this is why. As I discussed previously, I have started a new job, covering deps in asbestos litigation. The work itself is fine. I have to attend depositions in Bingham Farms and Saginaw. The problem is that I feel as though the firm that hired me through Kelly Services misled me. Also, they are not paying me fairly I feel for this work.

Here's the deal. First of all, I can only charge for my exact time sitting in the dep itself and my time afterwards to do the reports I have to complete. I cannot charge at all for my travel time, which is crap. All the other attorneys in the room get to, I've been told that repeatedly. I get money for my mileage, but not my actual time in the car. Again, the other attorneys get to charge this. Also, this firm will not let me charge for my prep time, so I have to eat that. I was told that it takes no prep, but I prepare for everything, even if just for a few minutes. This is also bullshit because many of the other attorneys get to charge a standard hour for prep time. Basically, the other attorneys are telling me I'm getting ripped off.

The worst thing, however, is that I am not adequately compensated for times when depositions cancel. For example, today I got up and drove to Saginaw. I left my house at about 8:15. I had deps at 10 and 2. So, I get there at 9:30 just to be told a half hour later that the plaintiff didn't show up and the dep was canceled. So, I get to hang around Saginaw all day until 2 and do nothing until my next dep. My entire morning was wasted, and I get to charge a whopping half and hour it (the time I spent waiting). And the afternoon dep went, but it lasted 2 hours (pretty average) and it took me a half an hour to do my reports. So, for being gone from my house all day, I get paid for 3 hours of work (I made $66 bucks). I also will get my mileage, but in my mind, that doesn't count. That's for wear and tear on your car and for gas money. I was told that this could happen, but I was led to believe it was "occasionally." This is the third time this has happened in a month. Huge stinking waste of my time.

I feel that this is BS. So does my rep at Kelly Services. She is working on this firm, but they are not budging. They keep saying, "Our client won't pay." But the fact is that this firm is charging 5 or 6 times what they are paying me to the client. Basically, they are making a HUGE profit off me. If this cancellation crap happens much more and they don't compensate me, I think I may quit this assignment. It gets to the point where what little I'm making isn't worth the aggravation. I'm basically truly making about $10 an hour. That is ridiculous. I'd be better off working retail.

Flashbacks of Youth

So, today I had to go to Saginaw for my temp job for the first time. When they have plaintiffs that live up north, they hold the dep at SVSU so these folks don't have to come all the way down to Bingham Farms. So, today, I had a 10:00 am dep at SVSU's campus.

I printed myself directions yesterday, even though I basically knew how to get there. I printed the directions so I would be sure of what exit to take, and which ways to turn. The google map directions said to go up 75 to exit 154 towards Zilwaukee. Off I went this morning. I left before 8 am to make sure that I would have plenty of time. The map said it would take about an hour and 15 minutes and I like to leave myself plenty of time.

The first flashback came as I was approaching Saginaw. Signs began brightly proclaiming "I-75 Northbound closed down at Zilwaukee Bridge!" I immediately began to panic slightly, as the exit my directions provided was AFTER the Z-bridge (as those of us who grew up in that area call it). "Crap, crap, crap," I thought. "Where do I go?" Then, I actually come upon the detour, and realize its 675. "Oh, duh," I thought. "Of course, you know where you're going! You only made this drive probably once a week on average for several years of your teenage life. Take the Titabawasee Road exit and make a left to Bay Road, then make a right!" Big dummy.

So, I exit off at Titabawasee and make my left. And suddenly, the memories were overwhelming. Memories of coming to go to good old Fashion Square Mall (which sucks), out to eat (same old chain restaurants, but we had to go 45 minutes to get to them), and actually going to SVSU for class my senior year. It was warm today, and I remembered coming to the movies with A (who is a frequent reader!) to see "Liar, Liar" in the middle of a school day in early June, because we had perfect attendance and got out of school early. I remember coming to Meijer with H after the Homecoming football game my sophomore year, which was her freshmen year in college. We went to Meijer because it was the only thing open that time of night. And there were so many other times, too.

I was surprised, though. There are new things in the area, but it still looks a little sad. That area is sort of depressed, as is most of the state. SVSU has changed a ton though, it is much bigger and looks very nice!

So that was my day of flashbacks and depositions!

I'm Really Into LOST

I have to say, last year Lost had me baffled. The story didn't seem to be going anywhere, it seemed to ramble, and made no sense in a lot of ways. I was just about ready to give up on my favorite show. I did not hold out much hope for this season's episodes, and was especially concerned given that the show wasn't coming back until January.

Well, January rolled around, and new shows began. All I have to say is WOW! It has been soooo good this year, particularly the new flash forwards, as opposed to the previous flashbacks. I love that we're learning who got off the island (the so-called "Oceanic Six") and how their lives have not been great since leaving. That whole aspect of it sort of reminds me of "Tess of the d'Urbervilles," the novel by Thomas Hardy I had to read in AP English in high school. Very fatalistic, depressing, yet still compelling. We also know that evil Benjamin Linus gets off the island too. Very interesting. And even better, we FINALLY learned what happened to Michael and Walt since they left like, 2 seasons ago!! I thought that whole story had been given up for dead. And I loved the episodes with Sayid and Desmond on the freighter, and Desmond's frantic call to Penny to tell her that he still loves her. Desmond has quickly become my favorite of the male castaways. He's hot, driven to prove himself to Penny's evil father, and has a sexy ol' Scottish accent. I heart Henry Ian Cusick! (I feel completely not guilty for saying this because Brian loves Evangaline Lilly, who plays Kate.)

Speaking of Penny's evil father, we have learned this season that he's the one trying to take control of the island and kill everybody. Interesting. This poses several questions to me--how did he find out about the island? Was he involved with the Darma Project, or did he know about the other people that were living on the island (the group of people that Ben ended up leading)? He doesn't know the island's location, so how could he know of it's existence? Also, how the hell did he fake the plane crash at the bottom of the ocean? We know the bodies came from a graveyard that he had dug up, but logistically, how is it possible to plant a fake plane and dead bodies at the bottom of the ocean without anybody knowing? Also, in last night's episode, in the flash forward, he tells Ben that Ben will never find Penny, that's she's too well hidden (Ben wants to kill Penny in retaliation for the death of Alex). I just hold out hope that Desmond is with her!! (Desmond would not be one of the Oceanic Six, because he was not on the plane.)

Furthermore, how the HELL did Ben get off the island in the flash forward? He tells Sayid that he took Desmond's boat to Fiji and flew to Iraq, but we know that's crap because he simply materialized in the desert in the middle of Tunisia and had a fake passport. (Presumably one of the ones he kept in his storage room in his house.) Remember, Locke's scumball father materialized on the island in the same manner. What's up with that? I need to know more than "the island has unique electromagnetic properties," as they've made clear in the past. Lastly, it does appear that Ben knows what the smoke monster is and can control it, at least somewhat. Hopefully, we'll learn more about that in the near future! I can't wait to see more!

My Mood has Lifted Considerably

It is finally springtime. The looooong, cold winter we here in Michigan, and the Mid-West in general, were suffering through is over. For the past two days, it has been 70+ degrees. Now, I understand it won't stay this temperature for very long, but even the 60 we'll be having over the weekend is a dramatic improvement over below freezing temps and feet of snow. So, this makes me very happy.

You see, I am one of those people who gets very sad in the winter. Constant gray-ness and lack of sunlight brings me down. I find myself both sleeping and snapping at Brian a lot more in the months of November through March. (Particularly December, January, and February.) This is one reason why I think I'd be very happy living in Florida, or someplace else south of the Mason-Dixon line. However, since we've decided we'll probably be here for a long time, I deal the best I can. However, on days like these, I am all smiles. For example, I was just down at the open air shopping center south of town, and I found myself driving with my XM radio playing very loudly, singing along even more loudly. On the way down, it was "Ice Ice Baby" on the 90's channel. (People were looking at me with the funniest expressions.) On the way back, it was Miley Cyrus, of all people. But I'm in such a good stinking mood I can't help myself.

I'm also happy about the abundance of wildlife we keep seeing around our house. The other week, I saw an opossum in the front flower bed, rooting around for food. Boy, I'm from the country, but I have to be honest, that was the first possum I've seen that wasn't dead on the side of the road. What a mangy creature, so ugly only a mother could love it. The flock of cranes that live on the nearby lake are back for the summer. We are still seeing our backyard friends, the ever-present herd of deer. And, my favorites, the pair of Mallard ducks that wander around the subdivision and swim in the skanky swampy area behind our house. She is always ahead of him, and he's always running to catch up with her. Typical male/female relationship.

So, needless to say, I'm really looking forward to the next 5 or so months, with the sunshine and lack of snow. I hope next winter is not as bad as this one was, because if it is, I might have to throw in the towel.

Use Autotrader.com

Well, I have officially sold my old car. As you know, if you read a previous post, I got a new Saturn Aura about 3 weeks ago. I love the new car. It rides smoothly, handles well, and has great features. My faulty intake manifold valve has also been replaced, so all is well there. We didn't trade in my old car ('99 Saturn SC1 coupe) because I had three members of our various families that stated they were interested. So, when I got the new car, I started calling people.

My aunt and uncle had expressed interest awhile ago in buying the car for one of my cousins. But, my aunt had recently gotten a new car (a Saturn Vue), so now both of my cousins had vehicles to drive, so I doubted that they would want mine anymore. I was right.

Brian's sister and brother in law had also said they might want my lovely old car. But, I had a feeling that my brother in law wouldn't like the car for the same reasons Brian didn't (sits too low to the ground, rough-ish suspension, 4-cylinder engine, lack of features). Turned out I was right.

Then my parents bailed on me. My mom had said they wanted the car for my brother G. My stepdad said no, he needs a small truck to drive and put his dirt bikes in. Plus, they already had 4 vehicles (long story) and were paying a ridiculous amount in insurance. Well, long story short, G is getting his truck, and they are selling 3 of their 4 current vehicles and buying one that better meets my mother's needs, so they will have 3 vehicles, not 4 or 5.

So, for the past few weeks, the coupe has been sitting in the driveway, all vacuumed and cleaned and looking lonely. We finally got around to putting an ad on Autotrader.com on Saturday morning before I left for a bridal shower. We bought an 8 week package, hoping to get interest. I priced the car right at the high end of what Kelly Blue Book thought it was worth.

The first call came at 9:30 Sunday morning, about 24 hours after we put the ad up. Those folks wanted to come out at 11 to look at the car. I was very excited to already have someone calling. Before those folks even made it to the house, I got another call. I told that gentlemen that I had someone coming to look, and I would call him back immediately and let him know if the car was still here. I then proceeded to get 2 more calls in the next hour or so, whose names and numbers I took.

The first folks came to look at the car. They didn't buy it right then, and I had a feeling they wouldn't. They said they'd call me in the afternoon. So, I called back Caller #2, and told him to come on out. He and his mom came an hour later. He was a nice young guy, a young Navy vet who is in the Nursing program at U of M and has been taking the bus for the last year and a half. He and his mom (who Brian and I could immediately tell knew a thing or two about cars) inspected the car, drove it around the sub a bit, and immediately offered me darn near my asking price. I accepted immediately (it was honestly more than I thought I'd get, so I was happy) and we went inside to fill out the title and receipt. I called all the other folks and thanked them for their interest, but told them the car was sold. Navy vet/nursing student came and drove it away today after getting his new license plate.

So, Autotrader.com sold my car in a whopping 24 hours. I'm sure that it had something to do with the price of the car, the type of car it was, and the fact that decent used cars are hard to find right now, but still. 24 hours is pretty damn quick. And I'm happy I don't have to bum money off Brian for awhile.

Going Back to Work

I found out on Monday that I was selected for that temp job I previously posted about. I am very excited, but nervous too. I haven't worked in 8 months. And while that was fine at the time, now its time to go back, but once you're out of the game, it's nerve wracking to face a professional environment again.

I'm nervous on several levels. One, I'm just plain nervous about doing a good job for this firm. In the past, the jobs I worked, I honestly always felt like more of a distraction than anything else. As in, all I did was distract my bosses/colleagues from doing their jobs because I was asking questions, etc. I've never felt like I did a good job. When I say this to Brian, he always tells me that's crap, but it's how I feel. I still feel to this day that somehow it was my fault I got laid off a year ago, that it WASN'T business conditions, that it was them not being happy with me. Again, Brian says that's crap, but after that happens, you tend to feel really badly about yourself, especially someone like me who takes things really hard. So, I wonder if this firm is going to be happy with the work I'll be doing for them.

Second, I'm nervous that I'm going to be really overwhelmed. The firm wants to depose 1200 people over the next several months. Obviously, myself and the other woman they hired will NOT be handling all, or even most, of the deps ourselves, but it still means that I'm probably going to be extremely busy. And depositions like these are not the most exciting, which is fine to a certain extent (I have a much higher tolerance for sitting and listening to people talk while taking notes than most people), but I'm still nervous that after awhile, I'll have a hard time being patient and sitting.

Last, I'm nervous about driving, although I do have a new car to drive in! Most of my deps are going to be in Saginaw, at SVSU's campus. I think my familiarity with the area and the campus helped me (those who know me well know I grew up in the Thumb, and took classes at SVSU in high school), but its a good hour and fifteen minute drive from here, so I'll be spending a LOT of time in the car. I'll probably make that trip 3 or 4 days a week, most weeks, I'm thinking. I just have to focus that its a temp job, and that I won't do it forever. And hey, it just occurred to me that winter's pretty much over, so the weather for driving should be okay.

Despite all that I've written, I am excited to get started and make some money again. I've felt very economically dependent on Brian lately (which doesn't bother him at all), but I'm sick of being like Peggy Bundy with my hand out all the time. My training begins in about 2 weeks, and then I'm off!