Fun Stuff!

We've been home a little over two months now and I realize all my blog posts have been "Oh woe is me, this is so hard, etc, etc." So, I figure I should make a post about the fun stuff we've been doing/learning to show it's not all doom and gloom in the Nault house!

Our guest room has officially become Tania's room, which wasn't what we intended, but I guess, what's the big deal right? I hung a decorative plaque in there with her name and birthday on it that says "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, do you know how loved you are?" It's pink and was a gift from our friends Steve and Nancy Moriarty from Indy. Cola has one too that's blue that I want to get up! Brian and I also hung light blocking curtains in both of their rooms, hers are bright pink and his are navy blue, which work perfectly color-wise with what they like, bedding, etc. I am still sleeping in there with her, which is okay. She's been doing GREAT lately with sleeping, consistently better all the time. For example, two nights ago I got up to check on Brian and Cola and left her and she woke up. She didn't scream for once, she just called out to me twice! It was great! Then, she and I went to Brian and Cola's room and she kissed Brian on the head and we went back to bed. It took her awhile to fall back asleep, but that's normal. I sang to her. We do that every night, singing, that is. It used to be "Twinkle Twinkle," now its "Hush Little Baby" with a line about a pizza pie in it, so she calls it "Pizza Pizza." It's funny. Cola's crib has been turned into his full sized bed and he and Brian are in there, so at least they're out of our bedroom! That's honestly really nice to be able to go in my bedroom after they're sleeping and put my PJ's on, brush my teeth, shower if I want, etc. Cola is still sleeping crappy, but such is life. It's gonna take awhile. He just can't express what's going on in his little head and it keeps him up, I think.

The kids love their new playroom (which used to be our formal living room). We've gated it off from our dining room, which is my sanctuary/office. I think its going to work well for a long time. We play with the ball hut (gift from the Fontanas!), play with blocks, do puzzles (which Tania appears to be getting good at), do tickling and horsey rides. It's just nice to get the toys out of our family room, so when Brian and I sit down to watch TV at night, we don't have to look at that crap!

I seriously wish the weather would get warmer consistently. It was SO NICE for those two days, we were outside half the day and they had a blast running around and playing on the neighbors playscape. They slept so well on those nights! We also have had a blast visiting friends and going to the mall and BounceU to play. I am going to start taking them to story time at the Library and Borders, but this morning just didn't feel right. We got a late start and it would have been rushed. Maybe next time on Friday.

So that's what up here after two months! We can't believe its been that long!

Sleepless in Michigan!

But hopefully not forever!

The title of this blog actually refers to the kids, not necessarily Brian and I. We're doing okay, because adults can survive on 6 or 7 hours of sleep. But kids at age 2 and 3 cannot survive on 9 or 10. It's simply too little. So, I sought some advice on this subject from an expert we've met at our support group meetings.

From what we've read, these issues we're having (having to lay with them, them unable to fall asleep for long periods of time, frequent waking, not sleeping long enough or consistently) are totally common for new adoptees. Sleep is the most frequent reason post adopting families seek help. She actually stated that given the trauma, upheaval and fright our children experienced for the first 2 and 3.5 years of their lives, it could be a lot worse. Right now, I am still sleeping with Tatiana and Brian deals with Nicholas. Cindy, the psychologist, stated that we have a good strategy right now and are doing all the right things. She endorsed our plan to turn Cola's crib into his full sized bed and for him and Brian to sleep in there, instead of our bed. I need to keep doing what I'm doing. Then, we can EVENTUALLY transition ourselves out. But, that can't happen and this situation won't improve until they feel really comfortable and totally trust us, which can honestly take up to a year, as Cindy informed me. That is a bit daunting, but we have to be in this for the long haul. And bedtime will continue to be a long process for us, so don't expect to see Brian or I out at night for ages. Bye bye social life!

Cindy reassured me that this WILL get better. Like I said, the LONG HAUL. We haven't even been home 2 months, I keep reminding myself! It feels like a lot longer, quite honestly. I am so happy that the weather is breaking and we can get them outside. After being outside, Cola has shown signs of wanting to lay down in the living room and maybe go to sleep on his own, but Tania bothers him!! It's so frustrating. Hopefully, when they're BOTH out running a ton consistently, she go down for some quiet time/nap so he can too and I can quit wasting gas in the darn car every day!

If any of you care to look, here's a really good website I found that lays these issues out really well and explains why this happens with adoptees.

www.adoptmed.org/topics/sleep-and-adoption.html

Thanks for the support all!

More than One Month Home!

So, I meant to do an update when we hit one month home, which was February 26, but things have been nutty. So, now it's more like, 5 and a half weeks home! Things are slowly adjusting, but it's still hard, honestly. But, it is getting better. I'm starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but it's very dim and far away!

The past week was challenging, as Brian had to travel for 3 nights for his first trip away. He had to go to Copenhagen, Denmark, of all places and it ended up being a total disaster here. The kids had their first round of shots the day he left (a DTAP, Hib, and Pneumococcal), plus a TB test. Tania had a very bad reaction and had a high fever. I was up all night with her, and Cola was up part of the night too, because she was crying so much. I felt so bad, there was nothing I could do. The Motrin didn't touch the fever for quite a while. She kept crying in Russian that she was hot, had boo boos, and hurt. It was awful. I had to call in reinforcements--my awesome aunt Margaret came down and stayed with me quite a bit to act as back up. It helped tremendously. Now, Brian is telling me he has to be gone one night this week again, and I am irritated. I thought he wasn't going to travel much for a long time! Lies. At least the kids' TB test came out negative, but that gives us another reason not to trust the immunization records we were given. You see, in Europe and other countries like Russia, there is a shot they give kids that is sort of like a TB vaccination. And if you've had this shot, your TB should come out positive because you'll have antibodies. We were told the kids had this shot. Well, clearly they haven't if their TB came out negative. So, we are starting the vaccines totally over from scratch, but with Tania, we'll have to take it slowly to avoid another night like Monday.

Sleeping is still our biggest issue here. They just give us a hard time going down, we have to be with them until they fall asleep, which can take a long time, and its not until 8:30-9pm. Then, they don't sleep very long, maybe 10 hours is the consistent average, which for kids their age is not enough. The only way to get them to nap is riding in the car, so I'm going to be spending the summer of high gas prices driving my kids around aimlessly and throwing money out the window. Tania is doing better with the sleeping--she's getting a lot more peaceful, hardly restless anymore, which is wonderful. Cola is bothered by something and we can't figure out what. He just wakes up quite a bit. Right now, she still sleeps with me in the guest room bed, and now Cola seems to want to sleep in our room with Brian. So, instead of ME in bed with my husband, there's a tiny little boy there. And we bought and were gifted all this nice, expensive furniture for them, and guess what? NOBODY'S SLEEPING IN IT.

So, that's what's going on here. Keep us in your thoughts as we continue to adjust to life with them, and they adjust to us!