Please Help Natasha!

So, today being the last day of November, it is also the last day of National Adoption Month.  I hope you all read my earlier post and took it to heart!

Recently on my FRUA Families for Russian and Ukranian Adoption) Facebook page, this little girl was profiled as needing a home.  The woman who posted the entry is Russian and is a volunteer with a foundation there to help abandoned children.  Everyone who has met this little girl says she is an absolute joy.  She's had some VERY serious medical needs, but is doing very well after having numerous surgeries and is cognitively just fine!  I cannot stop thinking about her, wishing I could go scoop her up and bring her home.  But I can't.  I cannot save every Russian orphan, unfortunately.  So, in an effort to help find her a home, I'm posting about her here.  If you can help with a donation through Reece's Rainbow (tax deductible) or know somebody who may be interested, please spread the word and/or contact the agency she's offered through, HAPS New Jersey International Adoption Agency.  Or you could even email the woman who posted about her, Natalia Zimina at sobachka02@yahoo.com.

So, without further adieu, here is a link to Natasha's profile (her nickname is Tera!).  Please help if you can!

http://reecesrainbow.org/28060/tera

Please, Consider Adoption!

As I sit here and write (for the second time in a month!), my kids are upstairs sleeping.  Sleeping, in their warm beds, with food in their bellies, clean from a bath, knowing, finally, that they are loved.  Some people would say they're lucky. I say we're lucky to have them--we got the family we wanted.  But there are many children in the world who DON'T have the family they want.

We've had the kids home 9 months, and just hit our one year anniversary of meeting them, and November is National Adoption Month.   These things are making me very introspective about the journey we went through, and about all the children who got left behind.  And there are LOTS of them.

Here are some sobering statistics.  In the U.S. alone, there are over 500,000 in foster care, several hundred thousand of which are available for adoption.  At least 13 million children worldwide are true orphans, without the care of either parent or any family members.  In Russia, where our children were born, there are over 700,000 children in need of a family, most for social reasons.  SEVEN HUNDRED THOUSAND--and Russia has half the population of the US.  Russia is one of the top three countries from which Americans bring home children, the other two being China and Ethiopia. 

The fact is, nothing good awaits these children in other countries if they are not adopted.  These countries have no social safety net, and there's no way to get an education there without a family.  Once the kids age out of the system, they are pretty much invisible people.  The most recent stats I read for Russia stated that every year, 10,000 children age 16 or 17 leave Russian orphanages.  85% of those children turn to crime, drugs, and prostitution.  500 every year commit suicide because of the hopelessness.  I would bet my life savings that the statistics are not much better for China and Ethiopia.  And, the fact is, its not much better here for kids who leave foster care.  

So, my plea is--PLEASE CONSIDER ADOPTION.  Whether it be domestic infant (there's a special need for homes for minority children!), U.S. foster care, or international, children need homes.  Yes, most adoptions cost money (U.S. foster care adoptions are generally free), but I'm sure, honestly, many people could evaluate their lifestyle and realize they have a lot more than they realize.  How many lattes do you drink a week? Or energy drinks? How many trips do you take?  Do you feel the need to have a new car every 2 or 3 years?  These things may seem important, but they're not.  Not when you think about the fact you literally could be saving a life.  And I can tell you from experience, I cannot imagine loving kids more than I love these kids.  Every person I've ever talked to who has bio kids and adopted kids has told me there's absolutely no difference in the love for an adopted child vs. a bio kid.  From the moment these kids were brought to us in a hotel room at 9 am on a Tuesday in Arkhangelsk, Russia, they were mine. 

So, before I get off my soapbox, here are  few links to different websites.

Our agency, Adoption Associates, does both domestic infant and International.

http://www.adoptionassociates.net/

Bethany Christian Services is another well respected agency that does both domestic and international.

http://www.bethany.org/

For info on U.S. Foster adoptions, check out the link below or talk to your state Department of Social Services.

http://www.adoptuskids.org/

Fall Fun

And AGAIN, it's been two months since I wrote something here. Absolutely pathetic. I REALLY need to make it a point to do this at least once a month. I always have something to say, of course. It's just sitting down and finding the time to do it!

We've been having a great fall so far. The kids are doing awesome. We're soooo busy though, before I know it, it'll be Thanksgiving (which we may host this year) and then the kids' first Christmas! So excited for that! Aaaahhh, can't get ahead of myself.

So, what we've been up to consists of this:
Monday morning, T has pre-school. She is still doing awesome, from what her teachers are saying. They love her.
Tuesday morning, T has dance. She loves it and smiles from ear to ear the whole time she's in the studio. It's so freaking cute.
Wednesday morning, T has school and C has library story time. I like going to the library, but the part he likes the best is the music stuff and the playing after. I have to remember, HE IS TWO. (Although now, closer to THREE!)
Thursday, our free day of the week.
Friday, T has school and C has gymnastics, which he has taken to like a duck to water. His teacher says the things he can do already are NOT typical of a child his age, i.e., he has excellent motor skills and coordination.
Most Saturdays, I go to yoga class (thank god) and Brian takes the kids into town to go to Great Harvest Bread Company to buy our yummy loaf for the week. Double Cinnamon Chip makes PHENOMENAL French toast on Sunday mornings.

So, we are a pretty busy bunch. Almost every weekend from mid-September through October was/is too busy for my yoga (bummer) and then B has all his hunting stuff in November. Grrrrr...... Also, B still does travel, quite a bit at times, so sometimes I'm totally solo. That's why all of Cola's activities are at times when Tania's at school. I have to participate with him in these things because of his age, and there's no place for her, you know? If he has to come to her dance class, its fine, because I have to wait outside with the other moms and look through the glass windows anyway. So, he could play or run up and down the hallway (it's in an enclosed strip mall type place) for the 45 minutes.

Have a great fall y'all! (Cheesy, I know).

Summer Fun!

HOLY CRAP I DIDN'T REALIZE ITS BEEN OVER 2 MONTHS SINCE I WROTE.

I am a pathetic blogger. I have friends who have kids smaller than mine who post every week! I feel like a LOSER. :) But honestly, as you fellow Moms know, its hard to get much done during the day that involves 5 minutes to yourself, and at night, I generally either just want to watch TV with Brian or go to bed.

Also, its been a super busy summer, which for us is a good thing. I know summers are normally chaotic, but we've had a structured one, with quite a few activities. Tania has been in school 2 days a week all summer, Tuesday and Friday morning, and she's doing AWESOME. She loves it and they are really great with her. After Labor Day, I'm going to start her in 3 mornings a week, which is a fairly typical 4 year old schedule. I really hope she'll be ready for kindergarten in a year.

Cola has had his LESA playgroup for most of the summer and also a few field trips to different places, like petting zoos and things. On Tuesday, he took his first horse back ride and loved it! He also chased around a potbellied pig named Boris (how ironic!). He and I WERE going to story time once a week at Borders, but alas, that's no more. I think I'm going to check out the Community Ed and look for a class to register him for (like tumbling or something, the boy has boundless energy for jumping and thumping) and maybe dance for her. I think those would be fun. Next Spring/Summer, I definitely want them in swim class, since Cola fell in my mom's pool a while back and was bobbing up and down like a buoy. Luckily, their Uncle Grant literally vaulted in there and grabbed him right away. But they both still love the pool!

Tania did great since her dental work and eye surgeries. She is SO beautiful. I mean, she was always beautiful to us, but now, wow, she's a knockout. And he is the cutest little poop ever to live, everybody says so. He's still so tiny though, but we're starting to think that's just him! So, we're just updating all their shots and I'm trying not to fret about it anymore.

Okay, since Brian's gone camping, I really just want to get some rest, because of course they'll have me up at 6 am tomorrow or something. I really will try to post more for my loyal followers! Ha!

Just the Three of Us...

So, Brian is gone this entire week. He won't be home until Friday morning. This is the longest he's left the kids and I in the nearly four months we've been home. I'm both anxious and calm about it. Anxious because it's a long time for him to be gone and me to be alone with the kiddos all on my own, but also calm because I know everything'll be okay. I just know that when ge gets home, I'll immediately want to turn them over to him! Ha ha. But, we have a fairly busy week. Tomorrow, my aunt Margaret is coming to visit. She hasn't seen us since she stayed when Tania was sickly the first time he left us. They are so different, WE are so different. I think she's going to be shocked! Tuesday is Cola's playgroup, and Wednesday our social worker is coming for our first official post placement visit. I think she's gojng to be very pleased with what she sees!

As you can tell, things are a TON better around here. I think we're through most of our transition. It was short but traumatic! At one month in, I felt like a crazy person, at two months, I was starting to see the light at the tunnel, and three months in, I let out a huge sigh of relief and thought, "Wow, this is gotten pretty good!". And now, we're four months in, and I love these little monsters so much! Cola is the sweetest little boy and Tania is such a beautiful, smart little girl it's scary! I'm so excited for her to start pre-school in a week. I think she's going to thrive. She seems excited and she can start in some catch up learning.

Time to sign off and watch some "Game of Thrones" since the kids are sleeping!

Happy Mother's Day to Me!!!

Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms out there! I myself had a great day. We had breakfast out at IHOP and the kids did great, then I cleaned my upstairs (I know, cleaning on Mom's Day? Well, it makes me happy), and then grocery shopping BY MYSELF. Then, played outside with the kids and Brian and had a delicious barbecue dinner. A good day!

Lots of stuff has been going on here, and it's pretty much all good! The kids sleeping is doing GREAT. Cola is sleeping through the night every night an average of 9.5-10.5 hours with a good nap in the afternoon, and Tania is sleeping through the vast majority of nights about 10-11 hours, so Brian and I finally feel rested again, and like a couple again, as we have some time to spend by ourselves. Also, Cola's been doing a playgroup through the county for 2 year olds, and I think its great. He's also getting speech once a month, and the therapist thinks he'll catch up wonderfully! Tania is starting preschool after Memorial Day, and I'm super excited about that--I think she'll thrive. At that point, she'll be evaluated for speech and other services through the school district. We think they're both doing awesome with it! They never shut up. We don't catch everything that they say, but they are vocalizing like crazy, whether it's English, Russian or gibberish and that's half the battle.

The few bad/anxious things going on are that Tania is having her major dental work done Tuesday. I am VERY nervous about it, both how she's going to do and having to leave Cola. He's going to stay with our neighbor for the morning, and he knows her and her two daughters well now, but it's the first time we're leaving either one of them with anyone. So, it's going to be an anxious morning for me. The other thing is that we found out recently that Cola is EXTREMELY iron deficient/anemic. He had some of the worst numbers the pediatrician had ever seen. So, he's on a very high dose of iron now, which makes his diapers pretty interesting. I'll stop right there. :)

I have more to say, but I'll save it for another post!

I'm Not Trying to Count My Chickens....

BUT, it feels like we've hit a MAJOR turning point here with the sleep issue!!!

So those of you who are on Facebook with me know that Cola has magically started taking naps in his own bed. It actually wasn't magical--it was me reading a book on sleep, and figuring out his cues and that he has a fairly strong internal body clock. He's ready for a nap right around 7 hours after waking, maybe sooner if we have an active morning. I've learned not to miss the nap window so he doesn't get too wound up and then not want to fall asleep. Also, I feel that this HAS to mean he's feeling more comfortable too, in his big bed, that he can fall asleep there. Unless you've dealt with a child who doesn't go down easily, you can't understand how much it means that I don't have to drive him around every day, especially with gas hitting possibly $5 a gallon. You have to lay with him to get him to go down, but since we figured it out, it's not taken more than 15 minutes! When we were first home, it would take an hour of screaming to get him to go down for less than an hour nap. So, I'll take 15 minutes for an hour and a half or more nap! Yay!!! The next step would be to get him to sleep independently at night, but that may take time. He's still so little and he can't communicate much yet (but more all the time!), that sometimes he just wakes up and cries.

NEXT--TANIA SLEPT IN HER OWN BED LAST NIGHT WITHOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been preparing her for this, that this is what big girls do, and that Mama is always close by and will come if she calls, etc. Last night, I was feeling really patient, honestly, and for some reason, it just felt like "the night." So, I told her it was time for that. She didn't protest, but wasn't thrilled, either. I explained that if she woke up, her drink was on her bedside table, she could call for me, or could come and get me in my room, etc. It took her almost 2 hours to fall asleep, she was so nervous. Finally, at 9:45 pm, with several false starts, she was out. I hardly slept a wink, I was so nervous myself about how this was going to go. I expected HUGE screams. She woke up at 2 am and called to me, and I went immediately. She wasn't hysterical, which is GREAT. She had her drink and went right back to sleep. (I wish I could have!) She then woke up at 5:30, and was slightly more agitated, but not bad. I took her to the bathroom and then showed her where I'd been sleeping in "Mama and Papa bed" and then we went back to her room. I tried to leave after she dozed off, but she immediately woke up. So, I decided it wasn't worth leaving and laid down with her until 7. I am running on empty today, but it feels great. Now that I know she CAN do this, life seems good. I am excited for tonight, as she seems pretty proud of herself today and we've had a great day so far!

So, that's the big news I promised this morning. To many of you, this may not seem like a big deal, but trust me, when you've dealt with this sort of issue, you'll understand!

Fun Stuff!

We've been home a little over two months now and I realize all my blog posts have been "Oh woe is me, this is so hard, etc, etc." So, I figure I should make a post about the fun stuff we've been doing/learning to show it's not all doom and gloom in the Nault house!

Our guest room has officially become Tania's room, which wasn't what we intended, but I guess, what's the big deal right? I hung a decorative plaque in there with her name and birthday on it that says "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, do you know how loved you are?" It's pink and was a gift from our friends Steve and Nancy Moriarty from Indy. Cola has one too that's blue that I want to get up! Brian and I also hung light blocking curtains in both of their rooms, hers are bright pink and his are navy blue, which work perfectly color-wise with what they like, bedding, etc. I am still sleeping in there with her, which is okay. She's been doing GREAT lately with sleeping, consistently better all the time. For example, two nights ago I got up to check on Brian and Cola and left her and she woke up. She didn't scream for once, she just called out to me twice! It was great! Then, she and I went to Brian and Cola's room and she kissed Brian on the head and we went back to bed. It took her awhile to fall back asleep, but that's normal. I sang to her. We do that every night, singing, that is. It used to be "Twinkle Twinkle," now its "Hush Little Baby" with a line about a pizza pie in it, so she calls it "Pizza Pizza." It's funny. Cola's crib has been turned into his full sized bed and he and Brian are in there, so at least they're out of our bedroom! That's honestly really nice to be able to go in my bedroom after they're sleeping and put my PJ's on, brush my teeth, shower if I want, etc. Cola is still sleeping crappy, but such is life. It's gonna take awhile. He just can't express what's going on in his little head and it keeps him up, I think.

The kids love their new playroom (which used to be our formal living room). We've gated it off from our dining room, which is my sanctuary/office. I think its going to work well for a long time. We play with the ball hut (gift from the Fontanas!), play with blocks, do puzzles (which Tania appears to be getting good at), do tickling and horsey rides. It's just nice to get the toys out of our family room, so when Brian and I sit down to watch TV at night, we don't have to look at that crap!

I seriously wish the weather would get warmer consistently. It was SO NICE for those two days, we were outside half the day and they had a blast running around and playing on the neighbors playscape. They slept so well on those nights! We also have had a blast visiting friends and going to the mall and BounceU to play. I am going to start taking them to story time at the Library and Borders, but this morning just didn't feel right. We got a late start and it would have been rushed. Maybe next time on Friday.

So that's what up here after two months! We can't believe its been that long!

Sleepless in Michigan!

But hopefully not forever!

The title of this blog actually refers to the kids, not necessarily Brian and I. We're doing okay, because adults can survive on 6 or 7 hours of sleep. But kids at age 2 and 3 cannot survive on 9 or 10. It's simply too little. So, I sought some advice on this subject from an expert we've met at our support group meetings.

From what we've read, these issues we're having (having to lay with them, them unable to fall asleep for long periods of time, frequent waking, not sleeping long enough or consistently) are totally common for new adoptees. Sleep is the most frequent reason post adopting families seek help. She actually stated that given the trauma, upheaval and fright our children experienced for the first 2 and 3.5 years of their lives, it could be a lot worse. Right now, I am still sleeping with Tatiana and Brian deals with Nicholas. Cindy, the psychologist, stated that we have a good strategy right now and are doing all the right things. She endorsed our plan to turn Cola's crib into his full sized bed and for him and Brian to sleep in there, instead of our bed. I need to keep doing what I'm doing. Then, we can EVENTUALLY transition ourselves out. But, that can't happen and this situation won't improve until they feel really comfortable and totally trust us, which can honestly take up to a year, as Cindy informed me. That is a bit daunting, but we have to be in this for the long haul. And bedtime will continue to be a long process for us, so don't expect to see Brian or I out at night for ages. Bye bye social life!

Cindy reassured me that this WILL get better. Like I said, the LONG HAUL. We haven't even been home 2 months, I keep reminding myself! It feels like a lot longer, quite honestly. I am so happy that the weather is breaking and we can get them outside. After being outside, Cola has shown signs of wanting to lay down in the living room and maybe go to sleep on his own, but Tania bothers him!! It's so frustrating. Hopefully, when they're BOTH out running a ton consistently, she go down for some quiet time/nap so he can too and I can quit wasting gas in the darn car every day!

If any of you care to look, here's a really good website I found that lays these issues out really well and explains why this happens with adoptees.

www.adoptmed.org/topics/sleep-and-adoption.html

Thanks for the support all!

More than One Month Home!

So, I meant to do an update when we hit one month home, which was February 26, but things have been nutty. So, now it's more like, 5 and a half weeks home! Things are slowly adjusting, but it's still hard, honestly. But, it is getting better. I'm starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but it's very dim and far away!

The past week was challenging, as Brian had to travel for 3 nights for his first trip away. He had to go to Copenhagen, Denmark, of all places and it ended up being a total disaster here. The kids had their first round of shots the day he left (a DTAP, Hib, and Pneumococcal), plus a TB test. Tania had a very bad reaction and had a high fever. I was up all night with her, and Cola was up part of the night too, because she was crying so much. I felt so bad, there was nothing I could do. The Motrin didn't touch the fever for quite a while. She kept crying in Russian that she was hot, had boo boos, and hurt. It was awful. I had to call in reinforcements--my awesome aunt Margaret came down and stayed with me quite a bit to act as back up. It helped tremendously. Now, Brian is telling me he has to be gone one night this week again, and I am irritated. I thought he wasn't going to travel much for a long time! Lies. At least the kids' TB test came out negative, but that gives us another reason not to trust the immunization records we were given. You see, in Europe and other countries like Russia, there is a shot they give kids that is sort of like a TB vaccination. And if you've had this shot, your TB should come out positive because you'll have antibodies. We were told the kids had this shot. Well, clearly they haven't if their TB came out negative. So, we are starting the vaccines totally over from scratch, but with Tania, we'll have to take it slowly to avoid another night like Monday.

Sleeping is still our biggest issue here. They just give us a hard time going down, we have to be with them until they fall asleep, which can take a long time, and its not until 8:30-9pm. Then, they don't sleep very long, maybe 10 hours is the consistent average, which for kids their age is not enough. The only way to get them to nap is riding in the car, so I'm going to be spending the summer of high gas prices driving my kids around aimlessly and throwing money out the window. Tania is doing better with the sleeping--she's getting a lot more peaceful, hardly restless anymore, which is wonderful. Cola is bothered by something and we can't figure out what. He just wakes up quite a bit. Right now, she still sleeps with me in the guest room bed, and now Cola seems to want to sleep in our room with Brian. So, instead of ME in bed with my husband, there's a tiny little boy there. And we bought and were gifted all this nice, expensive furniture for them, and guess what? NOBODY'S SLEEPING IN IT.

So, that's what's going on here. Keep us in your thoughts as we continue to adjust to life with them, and they adjust to us!

Doctor's Appointment

On Tuesday, we made the long journey downtown to Children's Hospital at the DMC to have the kids fully evaluated medically. The appointment was at 9am and we had to leave this house at 7:20 to make it there on time. Which sucked, because we had to wake the kids up early, and they were having their best night of sleep yet. Also, on the way down, Tatiana completely upchucked all over herself in the car, so that was pleasant to deal with. Half digested yogurt and bananas, yuck. :(

We made it to Children's and got in with the doc about 9:20, I think. The front desk seriously didn't know how to run our private, excellent health insurance, because I'd be willing to bet all they deal with is freaking Medicaid (the Adoption Clinic is run out of one of the general pediatric clinics there, and the clientele seemed, let's say, ghetto fabulous).

The appointment lasted 2 hours. The doctor was very thorough, as she should be. She asked us every question under the sun, measured them a ton, and gave them full physicals. She was generally pleased with the state of their health, and with the things we've been doing with them. She also has twin sons adopted from Kazakhstan, so she totally understands what we're going through. Cola is in good shape overall, he's just tiny. He's not even on the growth chart. He is 2 now, and is the size of an average 12 month old here. Little lady Tania is good sized, but has issues like decayed teeth, a lazy eye, and something called funnel chest/pectalis, which means her chest, right in between where her breasts will be, is concave. This will most likely resolve itself, but it may not. They are most likely also developmentally delayed, and I have the school district working on coming out to evaluate them. They are certainly emotionally stunted. We're working on that.

Also, they had a ton of blood work ton. She took it like a rock star, but he screamed like a banshee. It was awful. It was 1:45 by the time we got out of Children's. We also have to do a urinalysis and a fecal test (3 times for the poop) to check for parasites. Fun for Heather and Brian. But these guys need to be checked for every little thing.

So, that's what happened with the doctor's appointment. Things are rolling. I honestly think taking them to medical appointments and getting out of this house may help our mood!

Thank You All...

For the tremendous support I got from my last blog update. To all of you who emailed me, or Facebooked me, sorry I haven't replied in person, but this blog entry is hard enough to get done. All of you that wrote sent lovely messages of support and offers to call you. Trust me, I may take some of you up on that at some point. Right now, I'm calling people who've specifically been through an adoption process, because they have the most insight into the specific things we're dealing with. I'm having a very bad day today, so writing this short blurb hopefully will help me stay sane.

The sleeping is not going much better, but at least the jet lag is over, I think. The white noise helps them go to sleep somewhat, but it only lasts 90 minutes on my iPod, so Brian ordered a white noise machine that we can play all night. I think that may help. They both are still waking repeatedly, which could go on for months. Basically, our poor babies have never had anyone comfort them in the night, and now that's all they want for a while until they realize that we'll always be there if they need us. Nicholas is SO hard to get to sleep, and the stroller is the only thing that works fairly consistently. So, we're going to go with that. We have to meet him where he is. At least Tatiana hasn't had any more night terrors, but she thrashes and wails in her sleep. I think she's having nightmares. Poor thing. We're trying to remember what these babies have been through in their lives, which, at 3 and a half and 2, is more than most of us will ever have to endure. But, its still difficult to deal with when we're less than our best.

Food is also a huge issue. If they see food, they will scream and wail for it, even if they ate 5 minutes ago. Food preparation around them is a difficult situation. I think they've been hungry quite a bit in their lives and now are just craving food until they explode. This is common and takes time to subside. We've had to bungee cord my pantry shut so they don't get into stuff.

We do see improvement and we hold on to that. Her tantrums are getting better, as she seems to be getting more of what's expected of her behavior wise. A huge problem we have is sharing/sibling rivalry, but that's normal for any siblings. It'll take time. Also, we've had them since January 18, and we can already see them filling out. They are getting little bellies on them! We love that, since we could scarily see their ribs A LOT when they arrived to us. I think T will always be tall and thin, which is fine by me! I wish N would grow height wise a bit. We have the full eval at Children's Hospital downtown on Tuesday and we'll see how that goes. I think they're in pretty decent shape overall. Next step will be getting T treatment for her lazy eye. I talked to the Adoption Medicine specialist today and she was very encouraging. She has twins from Kazakhstan and she reassured me that everything we're dealing with is normal and will subside, but it could take months. So, we have to be in it for the long haul.

Thanks for the support and encouragement everyone. We know that in the near future we'll hopefully be able to look back at this and go, "Wow, that sucked, but we made it through." Hopefully, that's sooner rather than later!

Since You've Been Asking

Hi All. This will be a short post, but many of you have been asking how it's going, so I decided to try to give a blog update on our situation.

We are, of course, thrilled to have the kids home. We made it home on January 26, barely avoiding the storm that hit the east coast, which we are grateful for. It was a very difficult day, though. On an 11 hour flight from Moscow to NYC, the kids slept less than 2 hours. So, they were exhausted and we were exhausted. It was 10 pm by the time we got home, and we put them to bed. Then, the jet lag you all have been hearing about on Facebook hit. I think that's getting a bit better, thank goodness. However, due to other issues, we are still not sleeping in the Nault household and may not for a while.

The kids wake up repeatedly in the middle of the night. This is not uncommon for adopted kids. They are in a totally different environment, after having experienced a lot of trauma in their lives. Nicholas (nickname Cola) wakes up and takes a long time to fall back asleep. Hopefully the white noise I downloaded will help. It helped them fall asleep last night. Tatiana (nickname Tania) also wakes frequently, but more importantly,experiences ferocious night terrors. It's awful. Last night we thought she was going to kill herself by accident. She was jumping up on her bed and throwing herself down repeatedly. We thought she was going to hit her head and die. This lasted for 40 minutes, then she did it again, albeit shorter and quieter, 2 hours later. Brian and I thought she was going psychotic, until we called a few people this morning and found out that this is not uncommon. Awful, but not uncommon. Ugh. Hopefully this will wane as she gets comfortable in her new home and environment.

Also, she has terrible tantrums in the day, up to 6-8 times a day, mostly we feel due to us not being able to understand her when she talks and her not being able to understand us. I feel really badly for her, but we also have to set limits. It is not okay for her to hit me or bite Brian. I feel badly because Nicholas is not at all getting the attention he deserves, but I guess it is still much better than being in an orphanage, right?

There are other issues going on too, but that's the major stuff. I feel its important to be honest and not sugarcoat this stuff. We've been honest about everything we've dealt with thus far, so this post is a continuation of that. Hopefully soon, I'll be able to post that things are getting better. To all of you whom I've called and cried to, thanks a lot.

THREE WEEKS!!

I cannot believe that in THREE WEEKS the kids will be home! We leave a week from Saturday and will be home January 26! It is so nutty around here trying to get everything together. Brian's been installing baby gates, I'm getting paperwork together, and I need him to help me organize their room and put a bunch of toys downstairs. Everyone has been so generous with clothes and toys that some of the toys need to be put away and taken out slowly. These kids are NOT used to having an abundance of things and it can really overstimulate them. That's also why we did not decorate the room very much. Decoration can come with time! Also, thanks to Holly and Jill, I have full drawers for Nicholas and TWO sacks of too big clothes in the closet for when he grows! We also have plenty of clothes for her right now, thanks to my lovely aunts Holli and Margaret, and it'll be cheaper and easier buying for one kid on down the line than both of them!

I am SO NERVOUS, but obviously excited too. Hopefully, now that this blog is linked to Facebook, I'll be motivated to post more in the new year. The kids themselves will provide motivation too--everyone wants to see pictures! I can't wait until I can oblige all of your numerous photo requests!!