Going Back to Work

I found out on Monday that I was selected for that temp job I previously posted about. I am very excited, but nervous too. I haven't worked in 8 months. And while that was fine at the time, now its time to go back, but once you're out of the game, it's nerve wracking to face a professional environment again.

I'm nervous on several levels. One, I'm just plain nervous about doing a good job for this firm. In the past, the jobs I worked, I honestly always felt like more of a distraction than anything else. As in, all I did was distract my bosses/colleagues from doing their jobs because I was asking questions, etc. I've never felt like I did a good job. When I say this to Brian, he always tells me that's crap, but it's how I feel. I still feel to this day that somehow it was my fault I got laid off a year ago, that it WASN'T business conditions, that it was them not being happy with me. Again, Brian says that's crap, but after that happens, you tend to feel really badly about yourself, especially someone like me who takes things really hard. So, I wonder if this firm is going to be happy with the work I'll be doing for them.

Second, I'm nervous that I'm going to be really overwhelmed. The firm wants to depose 1200 people over the next several months. Obviously, myself and the other woman they hired will NOT be handling all, or even most, of the deps ourselves, but it still means that I'm probably going to be extremely busy. And depositions like these are not the most exciting, which is fine to a certain extent (I have a much higher tolerance for sitting and listening to people talk while taking notes than most people), but I'm still nervous that after awhile, I'll have a hard time being patient and sitting.

Last, I'm nervous about driving, although I do have a new car to drive in! Most of my deps are going to be in Saginaw, at SVSU's campus. I think my familiarity with the area and the campus helped me (those who know me well know I grew up in the Thumb, and took classes at SVSU in high school), but its a good hour and fifteen minute drive from here, so I'll be spending a LOT of time in the car. I'll probably make that trip 3 or 4 days a week, most weeks, I'm thinking. I just have to focus that its a temp job, and that I won't do it forever. And hey, it just occurred to me that winter's pretty much over, so the weather for driving should be okay.

Despite all that I've written, I am excited to get started and make some money again. I've felt very economically dependent on Brian lately (which doesn't bother him at all), but I'm sick of being like Peggy Bundy with my hand out all the time. My training begins in about 2 weeks, and then I'm off!